And whatever happened to Phillies outfielder Pat “The Bat” Burrell you ask? Maybe it was a quirk of timing but no sooner did porn chick Sophia Rossi go on Howard Stern and claimed to have slept with him, that Burrell was whisked away to the American League.

It’s AEE-time, and that means hold on to your harpoons, boys, Captain Ahab’s looking for a white whale. Francis Koenig, the Grand Poobah of AdultVest and iPorn.com, earlier in the year gave an interview to one of those finance sites, dailyfinance.com, but the only conclusion writers could draw from the double-talk was that Koenig was “tight lipped” making claims about vice-investing that were pretty hard to verify. Which is pretty hard to believe. Double-talking, that is.

“On the surface, vice investing is a pretty sound idea,” the site had to agree with their own double-talk.

“There is even a mutual fund, the Vice Fund, that puts all its money in defense, gaming, alcohol, and smoking. Ideally, if investing in sin stocks was a foolproof idea, the Vice Fund would going crazy right now. However, it is doing somewhat poorly, and is currently down 46% from its 52-week high.”

According to Koenig, AdultVest, touts itself as “The world’s first and only investment community designed specifically for the adult industry.”

Pushing direct investment in the sin industry, Koenig, in the article, claimed that his company was up 50% for the year.

Except it was later in the year that Koenig had some splainin’ to do when one of his executives Mike Weiss left iPorn. In fact, Koenig felt compelled to go on GFY to declare that Weiss had embezzled money and property thus making Weiss a convenient scapegoat.

“Do not hire Mike Weiss or you will regret it… he will take your company down!” Koenig warned. Not that Koenig is recipient of the public trust any more than Weiss is.

Koenig went on to detail how Weiss allegedly intercepted affiliate checks intended for iPorn and caused them to be signed to him without permission; and how he [allegedly] stole corporate property including a valuable computer and data.

Koenig had a lot of other things to add claiming that after his termination, Weiss supposedly sent iPorn a letter threatening that if iPorn didn’t pay him $30,000.00, he would take further actions that iPorn would regret.

“The company has employed an accountant to investigate both his and his wife’s conduct,” Koenig declared. Presently, Mike Weiss is ducking service of a lawsuit for coversion of property and fraud.”

“Hiring Mike Weiss was the worst mistake of my life,” Koening goes on to lament.

“Mike Weiss knows he’s to blame for many of the company’s problems. Weiss was hired to build iPorn from scratch since the domain name was first purchased. He duped us into believing he would have a site up and running in a few months if he brought in “his” team to build it. Because of his experience at Morpheus, we believed him and thought he might be able to come through with his “revolutionary idea.” He claimed to be a tech guru, but the truth is he’s a total fuck up. Weiss literally missed every single launch deadline – even the ones he set for himself. He cost the company a fortune. Don’t make the same mistake.”

But weren’t we being told throughout this whole internal fiasco how great iPorn was? In fact, just a week before this Weiss story blew the boards on the Internet, Koenig was quoted as saying to www.money.uk.msn.com that iPorn was worth a billion dollars.

On the eve of Adultcon, owner and spiffy dresser Renaud West got hit with a lawsuit, also begging the question if Adultcon could legally Operate in California.

West was being sued by performers Desiree Devine, Subrina Love, Chocolate Nights and Farrah Fox. The suit alleged that West denied the women booth space at the last Adultcon in December, 2008 because of their physical appearance.

The lawsuit went on to state that West under the name of Live Entertainment Inc, a Nevada corporation, engaged in intrastate business within the state of California without obtaining a certificate of qualification from the California Secretary of State as required by California Corporations Code 2105.

According to the suit, West and Live Entertainment also willfully, intentionally and with oppression, malice and fraud consciously disregarded the Plaintiffs’ rights as guaranteed by state law and that the Plaintiffs were entitled to exemplary damages according to proof.

The suit went on to the say that the Plaintiffs are overweight and/or obese and are commonly referred to in the adult industry as BBW’s- or Big, beautiful women. The suit also alleged a violation of The Unruh Civil Rights Act.

Under the Unruh Act a business establishment may not discriminate against persons based upon inter alia, i.e., the physical appearance and characteristics unrelated to the ability to be a responsible consumer. According to the suit, Live Entertainment had booth space available but refused to sell it to the Plaintiffs while selling it to other patrons. The suit also sought damages for intentional infliction of emotional distress. Michael Fattorosi was the attorney representing Devine, Love, Nights and Foxx.

Sharon Osbourne was also sued by a Playboy model who claimed Osbourne attacked her during filming of a US reality TV show. Megan Hauserman, 27, accused the former X Factor judge of grabbing her by the hair, scratching her and pouring a drink over her during filming of VH1’s Rock Of Love Charm School in January. Watch the fight here:

www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/showbiz/tv/article2289279.ece

Said the 56-year-old Osbourne: “It shows you how dumb she is. Anyone who knows anything about me knows not to say anything about my family or you’re going to get it.”

Houserman filed a lawsuit stating she was “grievously and permanently injured and hurt in her health, strength and activity” and “will be prevented from attending to any occupation in the future”.

But you knew this was going to happen: The Erotic Review and David Elms parted company. Just because Elms was accused of hiring someone to off a girl, the company had to go and put out a formal press release about the wonderful contributions Elms made.

And what’s a year without a Heidi Fleiss arrest to write about? The former madam did not disappoint as Fleiss got stopped on a drunk driving charge in Pahrump, Nevada.

During the traffic stop, police found prescription narcotics for which Fleiss was unable to produce a valid prescription. Fleiss’ passenger, John Owen, was also arrested for allegedly possessing a controlled substance and for possession of marijuana. Fleiss was charged with driving without a license, possession of dangerous drugs without a prescription, being under the influence of a controlled substance and driving under the influence of a controlled substance.

What is it with these old rock/blue guys? Ian McNally of a blues band called Harmonica Mac and the Groovecats joined a select circle of perverts when he started a relationship with a supposed 19 year-old girl he met on MySpace. One thing led to another, and this 42 year old ended up having sex with the girl and he took a few photos and shot some video for old time sake.

Well, it turns out there was one little problem. Yeah, the girl was only 13. McInally told police, and I bet this pissed off the judge: “It was like no difference with being with somebody that’s of a legal age.”

McInally was given an extended four-year jail term with three years supervision on his release. His name was added to the sex offenders register and sent to Scottish ministers as a person unsuitable for working with children.

The one thing porn stars and wrestlers seem to share in common is tragedy. And so it was with the sad death of Andrew James Martin, better known to fans as ‘Test’.

Martin was found dead in his apartment in Hillsborough County, Florida. Foul play was not suspected. Martin, who worked as a bouncer in his native Canada before being discovered, joined the WWE in 1998. He won several of the organization’s major championships before suffering a severe back injury. In July 2004 Martin underwent spinal fusion surgery and was released from his WWE contract a few months later. He attempted several comebacks, most recently with the TNA organization, but health problems forced Martin to announce his retirement in December 2007.

Wanna make money in porn? Move to Tel Aviv. There you’ll find Cool Vision operated by Muly Litvak, a former CEO of a publicly traded company and Professor Rafi Eldor of IDC. Cool Vision’s business model consists of selling pay-per-view subscriptions for live webcams content, featuring naked women, primarily in Eastern Europe.

The company shares some of the revenue with the ’stars’. Cool Vision also provides white label platform services for adult websites – the services are provided by some of the 100 employees in Israel. Cool Vision owns more than 40 sex websites, which bring in about $150 million a year. One of the sites is imlive.com, driving 5 million unique users a month, according to Compete.

Together, the network of 40 sites attracts tens of millions of users, making it perhaps the most viewed Israeli owned websites online.

Sunset Thomas signed a book deal with New York publishing company World Audience, Inc. Thomas and her co-writer R. Richard inked the deal for a book titled, Anatomy of an Adult Film. R. Richard is the well-respected and published author of six fiction/erotica novels including Amateur Stripper and Tails of the Pussycat Lounge.

“That Sunset should land a book deal at this juncture in her career, with her final and best onscreen work just hitting the streets is simply over the top,” added Sunset’s publicist Kent Wallace.

“Not only is she working with a much published author, but R. Richard, like Sunset, is a uniquely eccentric virtuoso. Furthermore, this isn’t an autobiography, which it seems every pornstar has penned. This is a literary work. A combination of fiction and erotica borrowing from the realities of the industry Sunset has been a significant member of for close to twenty-years!”

Anatomy of an Adult Film will be published by Shiboleth Press (shibolethpress.com), one of World Audience Publishers’ imprints, and edited by World Audience’s editor-in-chief, VP Kyle Torke, and publisher, CEO M. Stefan Strozier.

“I’ve Had More Women Than Hefner!” was the bold claim Larry Flynt made this year on TMZ. Of course Flynt’s got the advantage of having his women wheeled in.

Writes TMZ: Here’s the tail of the tape: Larry’s famously taken down boatloads of quality classy women, but without the notoriety of Hef’s conquests. Hugh’s d-list of achievements is a little more well known: Shannon Tweed, Brande Roderick, Barbi Benton … and of course Holly, Bridget and Kendra.

From DUI central comes another story of a neo-celebrity with an apparent load on. This one involved Crystal McCahill who was set to make an appearance in Playboy magazine as Miss May 2009. Except the Chicago woman who has also appeared on the E! Playboy reality show “The Girls Next Door,” made an appearance in court because she had a blood-alcohol level of more than twice the legal limit when she drove a 2005 Volkswagen Passat through a red light at an intersection, according to a Chicago Police report.

However in a strange turn of events, a Cook County judge sided with McCahill who maintains that she shouldn’t have been arrested for DUI after police pulled her over for running the red light.

According to police, McCahill told an officer: “I had three shots at Climax nightclub, where I work.” The police said McCahill “mumbled,” had a “strong odor” of alcohol on her breath and had “red-bloodshot and glassy eyes.” But McCahill’s attorney disputed police claims that McCahill voluntarily accompanied an officer to the District 13 station. McCahill said she believed she was under arrest — and there wasn’t sufficient reason to make the arrest because the officer had not yet performed a field-sobriety test. Tests were done later at the police station. The case will be continued this month.

But a case that was finally resolved was the one involving Brian Surewood. Porn performer Surewood has been living in a high security area of the Los Angeles County men’s jail since October 2007 stemming from a “road rage” automobile accident that killed a child in Reseda.

The case is now resolved with Surewood having been charged with one count of murder; one count of vehicular manslaughter, three counts of reckless driving with the enhancement of great bodily harm and three counts of leaving the scene of an accident. Surewood and co-defendant Armando Ayon had been waiting trial in a case that resulted in a pedestrian’s death October 9, 2007 when he copped to a plea.

The incident occurred on Sherman Way, in the afternoon when co-defendant Ayon’s new Nissan Maxima hit a parked silver Daewoo sedan forcing that car into the rear of a Honda Civic driven by Syeda Arif.

Surewood had been driving a red Camaro. Eyewitnesses produced described how Surewood and Ayon were allegedly fighting with one another, as their respective cars cut in and out of traffic on three lanes.

According to one witness, the cars had been going about 50 mph. At one point, Surewood’s car wound up in front of Ayon’s, according to testimony. Surewood apparently stopped abruptly in the curb lane and Ayon’s car swerved into parked cars in a possible attempt to avoid a rear collision with Surewood.

The accident happened near Amestoy with Ayon careening across the westbound lanes and winding up on the center median. In the process, Arif, who was holding her baby daughter, was thrown onto a lawn along with her 5-year-old son. The son was killed while Arif and her 10 month old daughter sustained injuries. The daughter remained in intensive care with head injuries, while Arif was rendered unconscious at the scene. Arif’s resultant injuries include the loss of her left leg, a broken right kneecap, fractured pelvis and damage to some internal organs.

Surewood subsequently pled no-contest to vehicular manslaughter and to the enhancement of leaving the scene. The agreed upon sentence was eleven years, but Surewood will serve 50% of that. With time served the real sentence came down to three to four years. Surewood, it should be noted, entered the plea without admitting any wrong doing.

“He entered the plea pursuant to a case called People V. West which allows a defendant to enter a plea because the defendant believes it’s in his best interests,” his attorney Ron Miller explained.

“Of course he remains extremely saddened by the injuries and the death,” Miller points out. “And the victims remain in his prayers.”

All told, Surewood will have served approximately 5 ½ years.

Attorney David Ogden was confirmed as deputy attorney general by a 65-28 vote, overcoming opposition by Republicans who objected to his representation of defendants in pornography cases. Ogden, however, quit his post after ten months in office saying he was returning to private practice. Speculate all you want but Ogden had some real enemies over his past associations with the porn industry.

Gay performer Harlow Cuadra was also found guilty in the death of Bryan Kocis, owner of Cobra Video, and was given a life sentence for slashing Kocis’ throat. In the end eight jurors put the knife in Harlow Cuadra’s hands. Four couldn’t. Because the jury couldn’t unanimously decide whether Cuadra was the killer or the accomplice of Joseph Kerekes in Kocis’ grisly murder, Cuadra was spared the death penalty. Brent Corrigan known as the gay porn industry’s Traci Lords was a star witness at the trial. It was Kocis who first used the underage Corrigan [knowingly] as a performer.