AdultFYI Football Pool Week #8; Pastor Craig Makes His Picks

Pastor Craig Gross from the XXX Church is this week’s guest prognosticator although he feels that word is too closely aligned with the act of self abuse. Nonetheless, this is how he looks at things.

Houston over Buffalo. The Lord loves Houston enough to make them win even though Steve Seidman is now living there.

Being from the Windy City, Seka told Pastor Craig she has inside info that Chicago will beat Cleveland by at least 200 points and 600 million hits.

The fact that it rained in Seattle is a good omen for a Dallas win against the Chargers. By that logic, figure on the Seahawks to lose 330 games this year.

St. Louis doesn’t have a chance in hell of beating Detroit.

Pastor Craig says there’s something mentioned in the Book of the Apocalypse about Denver defeating Baltimore and that the city will be swarmed with a plague of flies, locusts and a very angry Ray Lewis.

According to Pastor Craig, Peyton Manning’s website gets 10 million hits a day so that must mean something. By the way, Indianapolis over San Francisco, the city of Sodomites.

Jets handily over Miami, the city of skimpy bikinis and sinister Cuban refugees. Pastor Craig will gladly debate anyone offering opposing views.

Pastor Craig looks too much like the Phillies’ hexed pitcher Cole Hamels for another Philadelphia team to think of even having a chance of winning a game this weekend. Go with the Giants over the Eagles.

Pastor Craig sees a miracle when Tennessee overcomes the onslaughts of Jacksonville. He also sees an Obama re-election so take that for what it’s worth.

Ron Jeremy found the name San Diego in one of the 1,000 fortune cookies he cracked open during lunch yesterday. That’s probably a good sign for a Chargers win over Oakland.

Arizona, perhaps the next porn capital, has too many strip clubs and escort services for Pastor Craig to feel comfortable with them. Go with Carolina.

Green Bay over Minnesota. If Minnesota is ahead going into the fourth quarter, Jesus will force a couple of turnovers and make Brett Favre look really bad before his former home crowd.

Now that New Orleans is cracking down on prostitution, Pastor Craig sees this as a sure sign they’ll go to the Super Bowl. Besides, they’re named the Saints, and Pastor Craig has invoked the protection of St. Lolita on their behalf against the Falcons.

Sean from www.pornlegends.com also talks to the folk in the know:

Dallas over Seattle – Donny Long likes the Cowboys because he says the Seahawks are sinking faster than his houseboat did.

Detroit over St. Louis – Texas Tech Coach Mike Leach likes the Lions because the Rams have too many fat little girlfriends.

Jets over Miami – Dodgers owner Frank McCourt likes the Jets and postnuptial contracts.

Indianapolis over San Francisco – Porn’s best actress, Misty Stone, likes the Colts and the world’s tallest midget, Vern Troyer, agrees with her.

Chicago over Cleveland – Someone claiming to represent Crown Model Management called and said if I don’t take the Bears they threatened to delete something else from their web site.

Baltimore over Denver – Joe Francis says he’ll sue anyone who takes the Broncos.

Giants over Philadelphia – I think Jessica Drake said she likes the Giants by 7 and the Ernie Banks show. I can’t recall exactly because I was messing with my new Seka conversion calculator.

Houston over Buffalo – Shauna Sand likes the Texans and her 15 minutes of porn whore fame…she can go away now.

Tennessee over Jacksonville – Bob Griese likes the Titans and wonders if Vince Young has any new chitlins recipes.

San Diego over Oakland – Paul Thomas likes the Chargers by 21 and says he’s thrilled he isn’t working for the little lawn jockey anymore.

Green Bay over Minnesota – Phillies’ ticket whore, Susan Finkelstein, loves the Packers by 7 and expects to be signing her Vivid contract within the week.

Arizona over Carolina – Texas Tech Coach Mike Leach likes the Cardinals by 10 and asked if I wanted to go hoggin’ with him after the game. I said only if Uncle Gene can come along.

New Orleans over Atlanta – Gore Vidal says the Saints will win by 14 and treat the Falcons like a young hooker in doing so.

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Here’s the AdultFYI Picks:

Tim Case [76-27]: Houston, Chicago, Dallas, Detroit, Baltimore, Indianapolis, Jets, Giants, Tennessee, San Diego, Arizona, Green Bay, New Orleans

John Gray, www.questparty.com [75-28]: Houston, Chicago, Dallas, St. Louis, Baltimore, Indy, Jets, Giants, Tennessee, San Diego, Arizona, Green Bay, New Orleans

Scott David, www.allmediaplay.com [75-28]: Houston, Chicago, Dallas, Detroit, Ravens, Indy, Jets, Giants, Jax, San Diego, Arizona, Minnesota, New Orleans

Danny from www.FoxxxModeling.com [ 75-28]: Houston, Chicago, Dallas, Detroit, Baltimore, Indy, Jets, Giants, Tennessee, San Diego, Arizona, Minnesota, New Orleans

Steve from www.Magnusxxx.com [74-29]: Houston, Chicago, Dallas, Detroit, Baltimore, Indy, Jets, Giants, Jax, San Diego, Arizona, Minnesota, New Orleans

Jeff Mullen, www.sitcums.com [74-29]: Houston, Chicago, Dallas, Detroit, Baltimore, Indy, Miami, Giants, Tennessee, San Diego, Arizona, Green Bay, New Orleans

Kickass Ben, www.kickass.com [73-30]: Houston, Chicago, Dallas, St. Louis, Denver, Indy, Jets, Philly, Jax, San Diego, Arizona, Green Bay, New Orleans

Mike Dickinson, www.freespeechrevolution.com [73-30]: Houston, Chicago, Dallas, Detroit, Denver, Indy, Jets, Giants, Jax, San Diego, Arizona, Minnesota, New Orleans

Gene Ross [72-31]: Houston, Chicago, Dallas, Detroit, Denver, Indy, Jets, Giants, Tennessee, San Diego, Arizona, Minnesota, Green Bay

Steve Seidman [72-31]: Houston, Chicago, Dallas, St. Louis, Baltimore, Indy, Jets, Philly, Tennessee, San Diego, Arizona, Green Bay, New Orleans

Steve Volponi [71-32]: Buffalo, Chicago, Seattle, Detroit, Denver, Indy, Jets, Philly, Jax, San Diego, Arizona, Minnesota, New Orleans

0 & 16 Chuck [70-33]: Houston, Chicfago, Dallas, Detroit, Baltimore, Indy, Jets, Philly, Tennessee, San Diego, Arizona, Green Bay, New Orleans

Sean from www.PornLegends.com [69-34]: Houston, Chicago, Dallas, Detroit, Baltimore, Indy, Jets, Giants, Tennessee, San Diego, Arizona, Green Bay, New Orleans

Sunset Thomas [69-34]: Houston, Chicago, Dallas, Detroit, Baltimore, Indy, Miami, Giants, Jax, San Diego, Arizona, Green Bay, New Orleans

Kickass Chris, www.kickass.com [69-34]: Houston, Chicago, Dallas, Detroit, Denver, Indy, Jets, Philly, Jax, San Diego, Arizona, Minnesota, New Orleans

John from www.AdultSourceMedia.com [67-36]: Houston, Chicago, Dallas, Detroit, Baltimore, Indy, Jets, Giants, Tennessee, San Diego, Arizona, Green Bay, New Orleans

Dr. TJ Eckleburg [67-36]: Buffalo, Chicago, Dallas, Detroit, Baltimore, Indy, Jets, Giants, Jax, San Diego, Arizona, Green Bay, New Orleans

Karl The Birdman [66-37]: Buffalo, Chicago, Dallas, Detroit, Baltimore, Indy, Jets, Giants, Tennessee, San Diego, Arizona, Minnesota, New Orleans

Ryan from Jerry’s Deli [66-37]: Buffalo, Chicago, Dallas, St. Louis, Denver, Indy, Jets, Giants, Tennessee, San Diego, Arizona, Minnesota, New Orleans

Billy The Crystal [66-37]: Houston, Chicago, Dallas, St. Louis, Baltimore, Indy, Jets, Giants, Tennessee, San Diego, Arizona, Green Bay, New Orleans

Brian Wallace [61-42]: Buffalo, Chicago, Dallas, St. Louis, Baltimore, Indy, Jets, Giants, Jax, San Diego, Arizona, Minnesota, New Orleans

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