Batten Down The Hatches! Florida Is Fucked! World Traveler Donny Long Laughs As Hurricane Matthew Takes Aim At South Florida!

It has been 11 long years since Hurricane Katrina destroyed Don’s Mobile Marine and brought Donald C. S***** to Los Angeles where he became Donny Long when he entered the porn industry. Now a world traveler, XXX web cam star and out of porn by choice, Mr. Long is somewhere laughing right now as Joan Rucker Mayers residence in Deerfield Beach, FL is about to get steamrolled by Hurricane Matthew. Is it a coincidence that the storm shares a name with Matthew Paul Holder, former one night stand and Monica Foster stalkee? We don’t think so. We call this karma. Matthew will have his revenge. 😀


Mr. Long has broken ties with Florida and will lose nothing when Matthew blows through and destroys homes, vehicles and lives. Matthew may even end a few lives with the elderly being especially effected. This just proves that smart people stay mobile and don’t own anything on paper. Mr. Long ahead of the game again. Perhaps Matthew could do us all another favor and travel a bit further north and take out Mariah Milano‘s properties as well?


By the way, in the photos that accompany this story, you can see how fat and poorly dressed most of America is. What an embarrassment of a nation. A worldwide laughing stock. And Floridians are some of the worst dressed, fattest and in poorest health and there is no excuse for it with 12 months of ideal weather to get off their fat asses and get outside and stay in condition. They will be done no favors by Matthew who will force them indoors and binging on pizzas, hot dogs, frozen and canned foods and other processes garbage while they watch Netflix and get no exercise.


Much of Florida is now under a Hurricane Warning, according to the National Hurricane Center, which means hurricane strength winds are expected within 36 hours. While the north of the state including Jacksonville is under a Tropical Storm Warning and the southern tip, beginning just below Miami, is on Hurricane Watch.

Matthew also could cause significant beach erosion all along the Atlantic coast, according to AccuWeather.

The worrying forecast was made all the more unsettling by the appearance of the strange skull formation in the weather map of Hurricane Matthew on Tuesday.

‘I can confirm this satellite image of Matthew’s landfall is REAL and not photoshopped,’ said Matt Devitt, from the WINK News team in Florida, was noticed the skull while giving a forecast yesterday

‘Captured this morning during my weathercast. Freaky!’

Many were disturbed by the strange occurrence, calling the ‘monstrous’ picture a bad omen for the East Coast.

‘East cost(sic) you better dig in this is an evil storm!’ one viewer tweeted.

However, meteorologists were quick to assure the public that the image was simply a fluke, as the map used different colors used to identified the strongest part of the storm.

Schools in Broward County and Palm Beach County including former Joan Mayers employer, Quiet Waters Elementary, have cancelled classes on Thursday and Friday.




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