I saw a story on AVN.com that had me on the floor laughing.
A fellow by the name of Colin Rowntree had an article written about adult producers using his facilities in New Hampshire to shoot porn. For those of you who don’t know, Colin Rowntree is the owner of Wasteland.com, a long running BDSM site. Colin Rowntree is another johnny-come-lately jerk off who became an internet mogul back when it was possible for any asshole with basic html knowledge to become a successful pornographer overnight. He is part of the flood of web geeks who invaded the adult industry in the 90’s and basically destroyed it. A man with no knowledge or appreciation for those who came before him and who openly flaunts the rules established long ago involving the separation of sex and bondage. Like Peter Acworth of Kink.com, he will be a prime target for obscenity prosecution whenever a Republican administration returns to power.
An intensely paranoid man, Colin was one of the XBIZ “Ambassadors” who called for my banishment from the XBIZ.net message forum. In one of the threads I started, he warned other posters about engaging with me because I was on an NSA watch list for being involved in an obscenity prosecution. www.adultfyi.com/read.php?ID=60381 He throws out my name, Max Hardcore and John Stagliano, but fails to mention a slew of other people who have been involved and/or associated with obscenity prosecutions, including Larry Flynt and Steven Hirsch. According to Colin Rowntree, everyone associated with Evil Angel, Hustler or Vivid would be on NSA watch lists. That would include his message board buddy and fellow XBIZ.net “Ambassador” Howard Levine, who worked for Vivid at the time it was targeted for obscenity.
So Colin Rowntree and AVN put together an article which said to come on down to New Hampshire and let the jizz fly, Isadore Hall, Michael Weinstein and Cal/OSHA be damned.
“Putting the lie to Assemblyman Isadore Hall’s assertion yesterday that California-based adult production companies are full of hooey when they say that shooting in the state will no longer be an option for them if Hall’s mandatory barrier protection bill AB 1576 becomes the law of the land, several large studios as well as smaller operations are already making plans to shoot back East this summer.”
“In fact, AVN learned today that New Hampshire-based Wasteland.com, a venerable producer of quality BDSM content, fielded a stream of calls this morning from California studios interested in using their facilities for adult productions planned for this summer. All of this came about in the immediate aftermath of the approval yesterday by the Appropriations Committee of the California Assembly of Hall’s mandatory barrier protection bill, which now moves to the full Assembly for consideration next week, and which, if passed by both the Assembly and Senate,will move to the governor’s desk to be either signed into law or vetoed.”
“AVN spoke with Wasteland founder Colin Rowntree about this very recent development, and though AVN will not name the studios that have contracted to use their facilities, we can say that two of them are very well known brands.”
I love this. “AVN will not name the studios. But they’re very well known brands.” It’s like My Cousin Vinny when the redneck challenges Joe Pesci to a fight and produces a roll of money and Pesci says, “How do I know that’s not a roll of one dollar bills with a couple of 20’s on top? Fan out the money so I can see.” And the redneck, knowing he’s been caught, slinks away.
“Oh yeah, Isadore Hall? Well, we’re moving to New Hampshire.”
“Who’s moving to New Hampshire?”
“We’re not telling. But they’re really big studios.”
“Then how do we know if they’re really moving?”
“Well…we’re just telling you. Nyah, nyah, nyah.”
Get the fuck outta here.
Now before I read you the interview, look at what AVN says. Two very well known brands. I would assume that a well known brand would be a large company. Right? OK.
“AVN: You mentioned that studios have been contacting you? When exactly did this start and how many calls have you gotten thus far?”
“Colin Rowntree: This all started out with me posting a story on a blog about “Come to New Hampshire To Shoot Porn,” in the midst of the California impending exodus. It was a satire piece, as NH is not a real nice climate, but it is legal to shoot porn here, so some folks seemed to have taken notice. We got three calls in the past 24 hours from California studios asking if they could come to our little “New Hampshire Armory” to shoot bareback.”
“What exactly are they asking you and are they wording it in such a way that they just want to get as far away from LA as possible?”
“What everyone seems to want is a safe and legal place to shoot without condoms, and all seem to want to have such safe haven for this sort of content out of the bounds of Los Angeles and California. Many intend to stay in California for condom shoots, but I am hearing that people want to have something in the United States that is legal for their libraries.”
“What sort of shooting accommodations do you offer? How much can people expect to pay?”
Now this is where you see that Colin Rowntree is completely out of the loop when it comes to legitimate adult companies and whoever he’s talking to about these prices is just like him. A bottom feeder johnny-come-lately who has no clue what they are talking about.
“We have a 7,000 square foot really big house here in the New Hampshire woods. Very remote. Very secure…”
A house in the woods that’s very remote. Makes a lot of sense when you’re on a production and run out of things like baby wipes, douche, any additional unforeseen production materials. Very accommodating, being in a remote area. But, we’ll keep going.
“I took a little poll of L.A. folks on rates and they said rentals in California were running anywhere from $200 an hour to $10k a day in the nicer areas of the state.”
Who the fuck is he talking to? Who the FUCK pays 200 dollars an HOUR and/or 10 thousand dollars a day? This guy is so fucking far outta the loop. When Axel Braun reads this, he is gonna piss himself laughing.
Two of the main studios here in LA where a majority of the shooting went on were nowhere NEAR 200 dollars an hour or 10 thousand a day. One was Van Nuys Studios and the other was Remmet Studios. Axel’s shot there and I’ve shot there and we didn’t pay anywhere near 200 an hour or 10K a day. And they build sets! Colin, who the fuck are you talking to in LA? Who? I shot Captain America and Batgirl on a soundstage in downtown Los Angeles with a hospital set. A place where mainstream productions are shot. We had to do a night shoot for Captain America because Nickelodean was shooting there during the day. You know how much it cost? A thousand dollars. For 12 fucking hours, asshole. There are mansions in Bell Canyon and Malibu where you can shoot all day for 1000 dollars, tops.
10 thousand dollars a day. This is why nobody believes anything this industry tells them. Because of straight up lies and bullshit like this.
But he says:
“So we set a reasonable price of $1k a day here, and there is a great Maple Syrup barn right down the street!”
A fucking house out in the middle of nowhere for a thousand a day. What a fucking deal. Can somebody please inform this idiot how out of touch he is with the real porn industry?
It gets better:
“How extensive are the shoots they want to do? Do you get the feeling that this could become a regular thing?”
“Most are looking for at least 4 days per month @ $1k a day with a minimum of 4 days.”
So producers are looking at a minimum of 4000 dollars in location costs. Awesome.
“Do you have an elevator pitch for shooting porn in New Hampshire?”
“No. New Hampshire sucks in almost all aspects aside from it being legal to shoot here. The winters are horrid and the summers are short.”
So he’s saying you can’t shoot in winter because you’ll get snowed in, so you have to shoot in summer in a remote area of New Hampshire. Wow, this sounds really appetizing.
“Are these productions happening? Have you signed on the dotted line?”
“Dotted line signed with several. This is fantastic as we can pay the heating bills next winter here!”
He’s got several big brand studios lined up to shoot. Big studios who are paying a thousand a day. So far, so good.
Now, are you ready for the wind up? This is where they throw everything into a big pile of shit and you scratch your head and say, “What the fuck are they talking about?”
“While Rowntree encouraged interested producers to take a look at the Granite State, he added a word of caution: “Coming to New Hampshire is a great move for California folks who want to crank out a lot of bareback scenes, but only in a limited time frame,” he said. “May through September is the window to avoid the bad weather and travel issues bringing performers in.”
So you’ve got a five month window to get everything shot. Hmm…OK.
Here’s where it gets weird:
“We do have a venue that can accommodate some, but not a lot.”
They can’t accommodate a lot? Doesn’t that kinda negate having a big brand studio shooting there? Big productions can’t be shot there? Maybe I’m wrong. I’m just an asshole with a little internet show, I’m not a guy who owns a bondage company.
“We’re close to Logan Airport and pretty fancy by East Coast standards…”
Logan Airport is in Boston. So you have to rent a car and drive all the way from Boston to a remote location far away in the woods in New Hampshire. Man, this just keeps getting better and better.
Man, you’re really showing Isadore Hall. “Nyah, nyah, nyah! New Hampshire, bitch!”
“…but New Hampshire is not your solution if you are a larger studio. There is simply not the infrastructure here to support the adult industry.”
Colin, I’m confused. Is a big brand studio not a large studio? What Colin’s saying is they can only accommodate small studios. But aren’t the small studios complaining that they can’t afford the costs of talent testing? The big argument that Mo Reese and others made to the Assembly is that the small studios can’t bear the cost of testing that AB 1576 requires. www.adultfyi.com/read.php?ID=60392
So how is a small studio that can’t afford a 180 dollar test able to afford flights to Boston, which according to Priceline.com are upwards of 500 dollars each for a roundtrip ticket, car rentals and a 1000 a day location for a minimum of 4 days? Not to mention food, you gotta pay your people a per diem to eat since they’re out of town.
Now if you’re gonna lay out all this money for travel, locations and food, you’re gonna have to shoot multiple scenes, which means a bunch of different talent. You’ve got to fly them in, feed them, house them and pay them. Unless there’s a burgeoning talent supply up there in New Hampshire, I don’t know.
All of this expense is feasible for a small studio? A small studio who can’t pony up 180 dollars for a test?
Wow, Colin Rowntree and AVN. You’ve really shown Isadore Hall who’s the boss. I’m sure he’s quaking in his Guccis. The porno business is moving out of California, flying to Boston, getting their rental cars and driving to the woods of New Hampshire to show the State Assembly what they can do with their AB 1576 condom bill.
Colin Rowntree, stick to your bondage bullshit. Stick to being a keyboard warrior XBIZ Ambassador. Hang out in your cabin in the woods of New Hampshire looking out the window for NSA agents. Leave the porn production business to people like Axel Braun, Brad Armstrong and companies like Wicked. People who have a clue what the fuck they are talking about.
Follow Rob Black on Twitter @RealRobBlack Email: email@example.com