I have here yet another example of when Rob Black speaks, everybody listens. I am the EF Hutton of fucking porn.
The top story on AVN.com yesterday was:
Jules Jordan Pulls Out All Stops for 15th ‘Ass Worship’
Now the day before, the top story on AdultFYI.com and the subject of a segment on The Rob Black Show was Jules Jordan and his dogshit company, that fact that he has no directors left and that Jules Jordan is a radioactive toxic sludge mess. Anybody remember that? If you don’t, here is the link to the story www.adultfyi.com/read.php?ID=60319
The title of the article was Porn’s Creepy Midget Troll Jules Jordan: What Happened To All Of Your Directors? Subtitled: Innovator dying just like everybody else. Welcome to the new age.
That article was posted March 12, 2014. The AVN article was posted March 13, 2014.
The AVN article has a picture of the box cover for Ass Worship 15 and a picture of Jules Jordan where he’s trying not to look like a creepy troll. He’s sitting in a chair with both of his arms exposed to show off his manly tattoos. He’s wearing a black T-shirt and a pair of baggy blue jeans. Looking every bit like everybody’s favorite porn wigger. He has his blonde hair spiked up to give the illusion that he’s not as bald as he is. He has a half-assed beard growing on his chin. You know, the type that people who can’t grow a real beard grow. People who haven’t gone through puberty even though they’re in their forties.
He’s staring at the camera looking real macho. Not sure what’s he being macho about, considering we did a story the day before and put him on blast and made him look like a bitch ass punk.
And what does he do today? He makes sure he gets his own story out so he can have a rebuttal for the person that everybody says no one listens to and no one reads.
Everybody in the business listens to this show. Everybody in the business reads AdultFYI. Proof is right there on AVN.com, assfucks.
You haven’t heard a word from Jules Jordan until we posted a story and posted a picture of him looking like a little midget troll. The next day, what do you get? A picture of him trying to look like a manly man. Trying to look all tough with his black T-shirt and baggy blue jeans. Looking as wiggery as he can with his new movie Ass Worship 15. Because he’s pulling out all the stops.
This is supposed to be a special Ass Worship. Ass Worship 15. Not Ass Worship 50. Not Ass Worship 100. But Ass Worship 15. Who gives a shit?
When you read the story on AVN, you can clearly see he’s responding to our story. It’s only a coupla paragraphs. It was done by King of the Retards Peter Warren. Evidently Jules Jordan saw the article on AdultFYI and got on the phone with his boy Peter Warren who he goes and gives blowjobs to and said, “Hey man, hey man. You need to do a story about me, because I can’t have people thinking I’m a troll and a loser bitch.”
Peter says, “What do you want me to do? You are a loser bitch. You’re company’s dying. You have no more directors except for William H.”
“Please, please, please Peter. Just write something. I’ll give you a picture of me looking real macho. Please, please, please.”
So Peter Warren does a huge article. You wanna see that huge article?
“The 15th volume of Jules Jordan Video’s celebrated posterior-revering series Ass Worship hit the street this week, and according to the director himself, it is an exceptionally red-letter release.”
“”I absolutely think this is the finest cast I’ve ever shot for the Ass Worship series,” Jordan said. Comprising that cast are Anikka Albrite, Jada Stevens, Maddy O’Reilly, Ashley Fires, Kimmy Olsen (performing her first d.p.) and 2010 AVN Best New Starlet Kagney Linn Karter (performing her first interracial d.p.).”
“The two-disc epic incorporates new visual techniques including aerial drone footage and super slow-motion rendering that Jordan promises will capture the eye.”
“”I think every volume of Ass Worship is a big event, and features talents that go above and beyound the standard XXX release,” Jordan asserted.”
“To view the trailer for Ass Worship 15, visit JulesJordanVideo.com.”
End of press release. The press release that was put out specifically to combat the story that we put out about Jules Jordan the flunky bitch ass troll. This is guy who not only reads everything we write, he listens to everything we say. He’s listening right now.
Hey Jules. Suck my dick. Take my dick and suck the jizz outta my dago balls, you fucking troll. I’ll fuck you in your wigger mouth. Ya bitch ass faggot. You fuckin jerk off.
“Nobody listens to me.” I am EF Hutton, motherfuckers. I speak, you listen and you react. You write anonymous bitch emails or you run to the AVN/Manwin press machine and get them to write paragraph press releases hoping everybody doesn’t think you’re an untalented bitch ass midget troll.
Well, guess what? It’s too late. Because not only does everybody think you are an untalented bitch ass midget troll, you give more credence to the fact that everybody who is anybody important in the business listens to the man who is known as Rob Motherfuckin Black.
Learn to love it, boys.
Jules Jordan pulls out all the stops for his 15th Ass Worship. Where his innovation and creativity goes above and beyond anything he’s ever done. With his special visual techniques including aerial drones and super slow motion. Are you fucking kidding me? Super slow motion is now a special visual technique? Having a camera high above the action requires an aerial drone?
This loser is sitting in his office alone trying to figure out how a make a movie of a girl wiggling her ass by the pool more interesting. He’s flat with ideas. He’s been doing the same thing and making the same movie over and over again for the past ten years. Now he’s got Thomas Zupko’s flunky PA shooting girls wiggling their asses by the pool.
Jules is pulling out the stops with his aerial drones and super slow mo. You got directors like Brad Armstrong and Axel Braun who make rocket ships fly through the fucking air. Greedo and Han Solo interacting at the Cantina on Tattooine. And Jules Jordan’s talking about an aerial drone and slow motion. Are you fucking kidding me?
I watch an Axel Braun movie and I see the Millennium Falcon having a dogfight with Darth Vader in the Death Star. Jules Jordan has a drone and slow mo. You have Brad Armstrong and Axel Braun making space ships fly and creating visually stunning movies that people talk about for years. Or you have Jules Jordan using super slow motion of two black dicks fucking Kagney Linn Karter. Holy shit! What an innovator that Jules Jordan is! You gotta a girl who was Best New Starlet four years ago and she’s taking some black dick. Wow!
I think she took some black dick in a coupla Elegant Angel movies about a year and a half ago. What’s so special about those black dicks? Is it Morgan Freeman and 50 Cent? Harry Belafonte and Bill Cosby?
Wait a minute. Is it Mr. Marcus and Darren James? “Syphilis and HIV, we’re together in perfect harmony…”
Is Jules Jordan gonna get an Amazon drone from Jeff Bezo and shoot super slow mo of Harry Belafonte and Sidney Poitier double banging Kagney Linn? What is it? What’s so goddamn special about this interracial DP? Tell me! Is it President Obama and the Mandela interpreter? Cuba Gooding Jr?
I gotta imagine it’s the Amazon drones and Jules Jordan spent millions on them to capture every essence of one of the most anticipated Ass Worships to come down the pipeline and that’s Ass Worship 15. Cuba Gooding Jr. and the Mandela interpreter will be captured from the Jeff Bezo Amazon drone. In super slow motion, or course.
There you go, ladies and gentlemen. That’s the Jules Jordan press release that was just put out yesterday as the top story on AVN after The Rob Black Show and AdultFYI puts out a story about porn’s creepy midget troll who lost all of his directors.
Welcome to the new age, Jules Jordan. You are dying and living a dream that was in the past, baby. You are a Klan member in the South pining for the good old days of 1959.
So sit there in your chair with your smug little troll face and keep listening to The Rob Black Show, Jules Jordan. You know it and I know it. Now everybody knows that The Rob Black Show is the best thing going in adult entertainment today. And you are yesterday’s news.
Deal with it.
Follow Rob Black on Twitter @RealRobBlack Email: [email protected]