This week’s Joe Theismann quote award goes to Chris Collinsworth who states: “For the [Dallas] Cowboys, you have to beat quality teams in order to be taken seriously in this division.”
Knowing that Collinsworth went way out on a limb with that one, here’s my prediction: with the Cowboys and Eagles tied for the NFC East lead at 5-2, after their game tonight, one of them will have sole possession of first place by next week.
Meanwhile, Janine, who’s been in the news this week as a result of a contentious child custody battle with her ex Jesse James and his now wife Sandra Bullock, picks this week’s NFL winners:
Sandra Bullock was born in Arlington County, Virginia, and this is close enough to Washington D.C., that Janine picks the Atlanta Falcons- just out of spite.
The Bears have promised Janine temporary custody of Matt Forte if she picks them over Arizona.
Since the Ravens have been known for their own ex-cons, apparent felons and alleged drug dealers, Janine feels very comfortable cozying with them against the Bengals but said she’s willing to switch sides if anyone on the Cincinnati team has the initial “M” tattooed on his skull before game time.
Because they’re on a winning streak, Janine says go with the hot Colts over Houston; and as an added incentive, she’ll introduce Peyton Manning to her tax consultant.
Janine absolutely loves New England over Miami this week and says pretty boy Tom Brady reminds her of some girl she used to fuck with an ice dildo on camera.
Janine is attracted to anything cheesy and thus holds a special place in her heart for the Green Bay Packers as they take the field against Tampa Bay.
Janine twitters a lot of Federal income tax fans in Jacksonville, and figures they must be on to something. She’s got the Jaguars over Kansas City.
Knowing that Bill Margold is a Detroit Lions fan, Janine is all set to join him in a boycott of anything made in Seattle- including rain- should the Seahawks win.
Because San Francisco boasts Alcatraz, Janine somehow feels very close in spirit towards the 49ers. Besides, the ghost of Al Capone who knows a thing or two about tax returns told her to pick them over Tennessee by a punt return.
If the Giants lose against San Diego, Janine had vowed to ask Earl Miller for a dollar-an-hour raise so she could better support her boyfriend.
Janine is miffed that Reggie Bush picked Kim Kardashian when he could have had her. But being a good sport she’s sticking with The Saints over Carolina.
Janine is miffed that Eagles quarterback Donovan McNabb picked his mother when he could have had her. But being a good sport she’s picking Philadelphia over Dallas.
Since Ben Roethlisberger has already agreed to the hush-clause, Janine said she’ll meet him afterwards in a hotel room for a hot tattoo session, provided the Steelers beat Denver. Look for a “P” on Roethlisberger’s skull next week.
Meanwhile, Sean, as usual, talks to his people:
Sean says: Atlanta over Washington – Making about as big a splash as that turd I dropped after the chili cook off, War Machine likes the Falcons by 4.
Baltimore over Cincinnati – Riley Steele likes the Ravens by 6 and says War Machine was a great fuck. That’s saying something since she’s stared up at more ceilings than Michelangelo.
Jacksonville over Kansas City – While visiting Shawna Lenee after she was viciously attacked…on Twitter, barely able to speak, she did say she likes the Jags by 10.
Green Bay over Tampa – Bill Margold likes the Pack by 17 and says if they don’t win he is going to protest outside the home of Bart Starr.
New England over Miami – Brock Lesnar likes the Pats by 13 and is looking forward to snapping War Machine’s neck like a pencil.
Indianapolis over Houston – Serial horse fucker Rodell Vereen likes the Colts by 10 but by court order he isn’t allowed to come within 100 yards of any of them.
Arizona over Chicago – Shauna Sand likes the Cardinals and says the Bears are going to take one on the chin just like she did.
New Orleans over Carolina – Tanner Mayes likes the Saints and says only a crazy person would take the Panthers in this game.
Seattle over Detroit – Bill Margold says if the Lions don’t win he is going to call for a boycott of all Alex Karras’ movies.
Giants over San Diego – Sandra Bullock likes the Giants by 3 and asked who the old guy in the Hawaiian shirt is protesting outside her house.
San Francisco over Tennessee – Newest porn set prop, War Machine, likes the 49ers by 4 and says he is going to take the millions he is going to make and invest it all with iPorn.
Philadelphia over Dallas – Tom Byron likes the Eagles by 6 and just laughs hysterically whenever I mention ‘War Machine.’
Denver over Pittsburgh – Monica Mayhem likes the Broncos by 3 and wants to work till she’s 80. I told her, “Why not, Nina Hartley seems to be having some success at it.”
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Here’s this week’s pool picks:
Tim Case [84-32]: Atlanta, Chicago, Cincinnati, Indianapolis, New England, Green Bay, Jacksonville, New Orleans, Seattle, San Francisco, Giants, Philadelphia, Pittsburgh
John Gray, www.questparty.com [84-32]: Atlanta, Chicago, Baltimore, Indy, New England, Green Bay, Jax, New Orleans, Seattle, Tennessee, Giants, Dallas, Pittsburgh
Danny from www.FoxxxModelingcom [84-32]: Atlanta, Chicago, Cincinnati, Houston, New England, Green Bay, Jax,, New Orleans, Seattle, San Francisco, , Giants, Philly, Pittsburgh
Jeff Mullen, www.allmediaplay.com [83-33]: Atlanta, Arizona, Cincy, Indy, New England, Green Bay, Jax, New Orleans, Seattle, Tennessee, Giants, Philly, Pittsburgh
Scott David, www.sitcums.com [83-33]: Atlanta, Chicago, Baltimore, Indy, New England, Green Bay, Jax, New Orleans, Seattle, San Francisco, Giants, Dallas, Pittsburgh
Steve from www.Magnusxxx.com [82-34]: Atlanta, Arizona, Baltimore, Indy, New England, Green Bay, Jax, New Orleans, Seattle, San Francisco, Giants, Philly, Pittsburgh
Steve Seidman [82-34]: Atlanta, Chicago, Baltimore, Houston, New England, Green Bay, Jax, Carolina, Seattle, San Francisco, Giants, Philly, Denver
Mike Dickinson, www.freespeechrevolution.com [80-36]: Atlanta, Chicago, Cincinnati, Indy, New England, Green Bay, Jax, New Orleans, Seattle, San Francisco, Giants, Philly, Pittsburgh
Gene Ross [80-36]: Atlanta, Chicago, Baltimore, Indy, New England, Green Bay, Jax, New Orleans, Seattle, San Francisco, Giants, Philly, Pittsburgh
0 & 16 Chuck [79-37]: Atlanta, Chicago, Baltimore, Indy, New England, Green Bay, Jax, New Orleans, Seattle, SF, Giants, Philly, Pittsburgh
Steve Volponi [77-39]: Atlanta, Chicago, Baltimore, Indy, Miami, Green Bay, Jax, New Orleans, Seattle, SF, Giants, Philly, Pittsburgh
Sean from www.PornLegends.com [77-39]: Atlanta, Arizona, Baltimore, Indy, New England, Green Bay, Jax, New Orleans, Seattle, SF, Giants, Philly, Denver
Sunset Thomas [77-39]: Atlanta, Chicago, Baltimore, Indy, New England, Green Bay, Jax, New Orleans, Seattle, SF, Giants, Dallas, Pittsburgh
Kickass Chris, www.kickass.com [77-39]: Atlanta, Chicago, Baltimore, Indy, New England, Green Bay, Jax, New Orleans, Seattle, SF, San Diego, Philly, Denver
John from www.AdultSourceMedia.com [75-41]: Atlanta, Chicago, Baltimore, Indy, New England, Green Bay, Jax, New Orleans, Seattle, SF, Giants, Philly, Pittsburgh
Billy The Crystal [75-41]: Atlanta, Arizona, Cincy, Indy, New England, Green Bay, Jax, New Orleans, Seattle, Tennessee, Giants, Dallas, Pittsburgh
Karl The Birdman [74-42]: Atlanta, Chicago, Baltimore, Indy, New England, Green Bay, Jax, New Orleans, Seattle, SF, Giants, Philly, Pittsburgh
Ryan from Jerry’s Deli [74-42]: Atlanta, Chicago, Cincy, Indy, New England, Green Bay, Jax, New Orleans, Seattle, SF, Giants, Philly, Pittsburgh
Dr. TJ Eckleburg [73-43]: Atlanta, Chicago, Baltimore, Indy, New England, Green Bay, Jax, New Orleans, Seattle, SF, Giants, Philly, Pittsburgh
Brian Wallace [69-47]: Atlanta, Chicago, Cincy, Indy, New England, Green Bay, Jax, New Orleans, Seattle, SF, San Diego, Dallas, Denver