Final: On the Set of New Sensations’ Who’s The Boss Porn Parody

As wigs go James Bartholet has worn some atrocious ones, all in the name of porn parody, of course, and he’s been bagged on for it. [We hope good naturedly.]

Except you couldn’t tell that porn performer Sonny Hicks was wearing one, neither Anthony Rosano. Both men are featured in New Sensations’ latest porn spoof and Rosano, buffed to the gills showing good guns, is flashing a keyboard smile at every opportunity. Which would make sense, all things considered.

Rosano’s playing the smiley-faced Tony Danza character in a XXX takeoff of Who’s the Boss. Not that Rosano needs a Danza “piece” because his own pretty much resembles Danza’s, but for the ‘80’s popular part in the middle. Nonetheless, this is way better than Hair Club for Men where you really CAN’T tell.

For his part, Hicks, plain and simple, is a baby face. He could get away with hanging out at the high school junior prom picking up tail, but Hicks is playing a college-aged student with a frosted coif because you can’t have little kids in a porn script with frosted coifs. Likewise, Alyssa Reece plays the Alyssa Milano character as a college student.

Bobby Starr, who’s no old broad by any stretch, is at the moment seducing Hicks in the upstairs bedroom, but Starr – her brown hair cut almost to Kate Goselin fashion – near looks like Goselin in comparison next to the baby face. Hicks calls time out for a wig re-adjustment and wants to make sure it’s sitting properly for continuity sake, though he thinks it would be funny if the cutaways had it shifting at a variety of angles.

Hicks, who’s from Michigan, is saying in a conversation with Rosano that the oldest chick he’s done so far [porn-wise] was 62. Rosano, in turn, tells him the story of the 400 pound Wanda Tracy he was working with, Tracy, apparently Hungarian, telling him that US porn was “sheet” because in Germany they shit and piss on her. Rosano has also worked with a 72 year-old woman.

“I looked in a mirror and cried afterwards,” laughs Rosano. “I told myself I was such a whore.”

According to Rosano, he’d love to have a crack at the Vinnie Barbarino character if someone were considering a full-on take of Welcome Back Kotter, though Myers has already parodied it within a parody.

But for the Who’s the Boss spoof, India Summers will be playing Angela, and the makeup department will be making another astounding transformation.

“I’ll be blond in a little while, and it will be shocking,” Summers announces.

Lee Roy Myers, who might be a pimp in an Elmore Leonard crime novel, judging by the name, is directing. Myers, who’s having a good laugh because a lot of people assume with the make he’s black, is told he deserves a high volume of praise for his Seinfeld parody.

While Myers himself is no baby face of the Sonny Hicks school- he’s sporting a thick beard in the early stages- a radiant grin comes beaming through the dense five o’clock shadow.

Myers scored an A on Seinfeld for solid set and character authenticity, though he feels his rendition of Cheers is even better. Still, his “baby” is The Office for reasons critics might not be in agreement on, but which pleases him entirely.

Though he was the producer on the project and not the director of The Sex Files, [a softcore version of the title came out in 1997] Myers hails the more recent hardcore achievement -also starring Rosano- for its colossal imagination and technology.

“You’ll never see another adult movie like that- I wish it was mine,” he’s saying. Also to hear Myers talk, he certainly knows his porn history.

“You wrote the first Buffy The Vampire Killer parody,” Myers tells me. Myers deserves major brownie points for even remotely coming by this information. But Myers, too, was doing his homework since another Buffy parody is one of his projects-in-the works including what sounds like an impossible to pull off parody of the TV show Lost.

Myers, who’s continually barraged with twitters and facebook messages regarding ideas- some of which can’t possibly be done [“once in awhile there’s a gem”], says he’s got a year of material on the drawing boards.

“I’ll be keeping the parody flame burning,” Myers laughs.

The porn parody business is booming these days, and who would figure considering some of the atrocious ones this business saw cranked out in the 80’s and 90’s. One of them, though not half bad, got a certain porn company sued out of existence. Splatman, directed by Mad Dad Dan, put Dan and his partner Nic Cramer in hot water with Warner Brothers because the costume Cal Jammer was wearing was a little too close to the trademark for its own good, hence the movie was recalled. [As well as Dan and Cramer’s company.]

While we’re on that subject, it should also be pointed out that a lot of brand names back in the day were having their way with porn in the court system from Harley Davidson to Absolut Vodka to Nabisco.

There’s even talk now [including some already circulated press releases] that Axel Braun is taking his shot at a Batman spoof. Good luck with that.

Then, again, some mainstream shows have relished the idea of porn spoofing them. To that end there were mumblings that after Myer’s spoof of 30 Rock, NBC was going to have Ashlynn Brooke, Lisa Ann and Herschel Savage from the porn cast come on the show. Instead, Savanna Samson went on making like Tina Fey, and the porn boards lit up wondering why her instead of Lisa Ann. The story goes that NBC supposedly didn’t want to foot the bill of flying people from Los Angeles to New York, so they went with Samson who’s close by.

Of the 196 Who’s the Boss episodes, Myers’ favorite was the one where Danza walks in on Angela who’s taking a shower.

“I think that was everyone’s favorite,” he says, noting that the porn version, obviously, will leave nothing to the imagination.

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