Florida, You Got to Be Kidding? But Lantana Larry Walters Says Come On Down!!!

James Deen seminally discharges for a living. But Deen’s no expert on the migration habits of the porn industry. Still, if he keeps making ludicrous comments such as the one that Arizona, Nevada and Florida are throwing welcoming parties for the adult industry, people are finally going to catch on to that fact.

Deen in a couple of interviews this week illustrates how he’s become the poll parrot of Diane Duke by repeating this silly notion that other states are dying for industry dollars.

Although the press is treating Deen like Gandhi, the fact of the matter is any hint of a porn contribution either to a charity or to a political cause incites rioting in the streets. So can you imagine a politician in these politically sensitive times sharing a hooker much less a hookah pipe with Steve Hirsch?

Maybe Deen was off doing a promotion for Manwin’s www.getrubber.com website that day, but he probably forgets how Manwin was turned down by the people at Susan G. Komen when it wanted to play titty squeeze for charity.

I can give you story after story from the AdultFYI archives of similar instances, but the sanest comment I’ve read on the issue so far comes from attorneys Michael Fattorosi and Greg Piccionelli.

In a joint statement issued today F&P said on the subject of U-Haul porn: “This should be made very clear: commercial production of sexually explicit content outside one of the those two states [California and New Hampshire] places any production company and performer doing so in jeopardy of serious criminal prosecution.

“Therefore, there is not, in our opinion, currently sufficient reason for a company to take such a risk while over 99% of the state of California currently remains legal for production.”

F&P also state, and more importantly to the point I’m about to make: “As attorneys, we cannot ethically advise our industry clients to move to Las Vegas to produce sexually explicit content in a state where there are, at least at the present time, no legal protection to shield producers and performers from potential prosecution under its pandering, prostitution, and other laws.”

The same can be said for Florida but not of First Amendment attorney Lantana Larry Walters. And I call him Larry because I’m probably old enough to be his father.

While he didn’t actually come out and urge a move to the Sunshine State, Lantana Larry in an article for XBiz in April of this year practically wrote the brochure for The Chamber of Commerce.

Which I get, because it behooves lawyers to have as many clients as possible, so with a mass porn migration, you’d have a piñata of pornsters in Palmetto which would mean a passel of green paper for attorneys like Walters.

I remember when he first got into the business. Walters was partners with the late David Wasserman when they had the firm Wasserman & Walters in Water Park, Florida. Walters is a pretty smart guy and has also studied English Common Law at Oxford University which I guess makes him qualified to defend guys with British accents accused of obscenity.

Over the years, Walters has represented the industry in a number of high profile cases. In my mind the most significant one involved producer Ray Guhn, aka Clinton McCowen, a case which according to the experts not only threatened porn production in Florida but the Internet distribution of porn as well.

While McCowen was sentenced to 48 months on charges including money laundering, porn production in Chattahoochee-ville continues on.

Walters in his Ten Good Reasons Why You Should Move manifesto also notes that Stuart Lawley of ICM Registry makes his home in Palm Beach Gardens. Walters, in fact, would have been of invaluable service to James Lee who apparently didn’t have Lawley’s address to solicit donations on behalf of “No” on Measure B.

And though Walters also talks about the abundance of nudism which he equates with sexual indifference, no less, he’s also quick to admit that Florida does have its crème de la crème of psychotic law enforcement.

As headed by Polk County sheriff Grady Judd who wanted to be a cop from the time his parents gave him a pair of toy handcuffs for his birthday, or so the story goes, Polk County’s one of those ornery places that Drive-In movies about rednecks were all about.

Walter admits he’s defended at least a dozen obscenity cases emanating from Polk County, so you might be getting the picture that James Deen’s sphincter and Grady Judd’s baton might one day become intimate should porn make a move there.

With the Walters rah-rah-rah-sis-boom-bah, I was all but ready to book a flight to Ft. Lauderdale so I could jack off in a hotel room to Internet porn. Except, Walters makes the most telling comment of all, and one which porn people have to keep in mind: that no prosecutor wants his jurisdiction to be a test case for obscenity.

“A state attorney who lets that happen on his (or her) watch can kiss any political or judicial aspirations ‘goodbye,” opines Walters.

Somehow I don’t think Florida’s got a bag of oranges waiting for James Deen at the airport.

Granted, Walters keeps making the subtle pitch of obscenity cases being beaten in court but he can’t avoid the haunting specter of Max Hardcore who is a haunting specter these days.

“…despite Little’s prosecution,” writes Walters, “the adult entertainment industry continues to thrive in the Tampa area, which reportedly has the most adult businesses of any metropolitan area in the country, and has been dubbed the ‘lap dance capital of the world.’ A Jeopardy question for sure.

“Even in Orlando, Florida — home of Disney World —adult entertainment companies have prospered and generally been left alone by law enforcement after some unsuccessful attempts to censor adult video stores in the early 1990s,” Walters concludes.

You can have your opinions on the subject of Florida, but as far as I’m concerned, Lantana Larry’s arguments are like the lifeguard telling you it’s safe to go in with the carcass of the dead blonde from Jaws rotting next to you on the beach.

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