Happy Birthday ALEXANDRA MELODY MAYERS!

Monica Foster

We will be the first and probably only ones to wish Alexandra Melody Mayers, hooker name Monica Foster a happy 38th birthday as her special day is Saturday, January 7. Where has the time gone? It seems like yesterday that she was making fun of “old perverts in their 40’s” and “old men in porn in their 40’s” and now she is pushing 40.

Just to show how old Ms. Mayers is now, the newest porn performers, at 18 years of age are young enough to be Ms. Mayers’ daughters. But that doesn’t mean the youngsters should take Mayers advice on anything. In fact, they should do the opposite of everything she does and they should do fine in porn and in life.

Ms. Mayers is so old that when she was born, ESPN did not even exist, launching in September of that year.

1979 prices:

Average Cost of new house $58,100.00.
Average Income per year $17,500.00.
Average Monthly Rent $280.00.
Cost of a gallon of Gas 86 cents.

Strangely, Ms. Mayers makes less per year in 2017 than the average American made per year in 1979. She didn’t really set the world on fire, did she?

We will refrain from running any negative articles about Ms. Mayers for the remainder of the weekend. We will let her enjoy probably her final birthday before losing all of her web presence and plunging half a million dollars into legal debt. We hope she spends the day doing something productive and social, unlike her miserable and lonely holidays which were spend masturbating online for perverts, old men and losers.

This should be the year that she finally embraces her age. She should update that Streamate profile to reflect that she is 38 years old and be proud of being on the wrong side of 35. Sadly, we believe that as he weight creeps up and her boobs drop down, she will change that age from 34 to 33, 32, 31 and so on. If she ever has the means, cosmetic surgery will be in her future as she has NOTHING going for her outside of her so so looks. Good luck and see you next year!

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