Anytime there’s a press release for my favorite girl I gotta give her a shout out.
There’s a press release on XBIZ that talks about “BBW Star” Karla Lane. I love how they gotta say “BBW Star.” Why don’t they just say the girl’s name? Why “BBW Star?” Why don’t they just say “Porn Superstar?” Why does XBIZ call her a fat fuck? That’s what BBW means.
“BBW Star Karla Lane Announces Birthday Bash”
“BBW star Karla Lane has announced her birthday bash on Feb. 28 at Club Sex Addict (aka Hometown Buffet) in Van Nuys, California, from 9 p.m. to 2 a.m. PST.”
“The party for BBWs and their admirers will feature sex shows on stage, a live webcam session with Lane, constant movies, and giveaways including DVDs from Sensational Video and toys from CalExotics.”
“I wanted to do my birthday in style and doing what I love the most…spending time with my fans (eating) and having sex,” Lane said. “My fans gave me so many birthday gifts and I’d like to give something back, and that would be my time. I hope everyone will come. You don’t have to play and can just come to watch and have fun.”
“No reservations are required. Admission is free for women and male/female couples. Single men will need to pay a $40 donation. The event is for people 18 and over.”
“Club Sex Addict (aka Hometown Buffet) is located at 15164 Oxnard Street, in Van Nuys, California.”
It’s interesting that Karla Lane is having her birthday bash at Hometown Buffet in Van Nuys. It’s February 28 from 9 p.m. to 2 a.m. It features live sex shows, webcamming and Karla’s gonna do what she loves to do, which is hang out with her fans and eat. So go to Hometown Buffet. It’s located at 15164 Oxnard Street in Van Nuys, California. Tell em Rob sent ya and have an extra chicken wing on me. Get there early before they give away all the ham.
Let’s look at AVN and see if there are any interesting articles. Nope. An ad for Evil Angel and Famedollars. Who gives a fuck? Something about Lion’s Den battling with Missouri. It’s fucking Missouri. What do you expect? Danica Dillion got new tits. Next.
Vivid Radio doing a show with Paul Fishbein. Great. A station that Manwin got rid of that nobody listens to. Awesome. Paul Fishbein used to own AVN until he owed so much money that he had to be bought out. Asa Akira doing an interview on the red carpet last year at the Sex Awards with James Bartholet wearing a hat that makes him look like more of a retard than he already is.
There’s your AVN news. Wasn’t that exciting? Jesus Christ. They’re not even trying.
In other news, Mike South went to the beach.
“If Anything Interesting Happens Call Me I Will be at the Beach”
“It’s been quiet in porn. It’s not that I dont have any stories brewing, I do, but they aren’t ready for prime time yet. So I decided to scoop up Jessica and head down to Florida to visit my friends Lindsey and Al and Vicky Vette and Dave. It was a nice day Monday in Atlanta so I even decided to ride the bike down. The 80 degree weather here is a nice change from the snow and all that mess we have had in Atlanta lately. Anyway if anything interesting happens, call me I will be at the beach…”
That’s cool. The girl who writes for another blog who uses a fake name can cover for him while he’s gone and the three or four industry people who also post under fake names can keep his message board hopping.
That’s it for the porn news.
I’ve had people hit me up on emails and ask me to talk about more of what’s going on in the porn biz. I told everybody that unless something earth shattering is going on in the porn world, there’s really nothing to talk about. Unless somebody can give me interesting tidbits, there’s nothing to discuss.
We’ve talked ad nauseum about topics as far as the porn industry goes. Free Speech Coalition supporting pedophile Kurt Brackob aka Treptow, etc. Talked about it for weeks and nobody cares about it. Everyone who does business with FSC don’t seem to mind that a pedophile is in their midst. They don’t care. It’s silly to keep talking about it.
All those people who got awards at the FSC banquet don’t care that Treptow fucks kids. So why should I? It’s not gonna get my documentary finished or make me any money, so I really don’t give a shit.
I told everybody that I was only gonna devote about 20 minutes a day to covering porn. Karla Lane having a birthday party at Hometown Buffet, of course we’re gonna talk about that. Paul Fishbein and his scary talent as a radio host, we’ll always talk about that.
The porn biz is so undignified now. There’s nothing fun about the industry anymore, there’s nothing creative about the industry. Nothing innovative. A couple of people making money and the rest making what at the end of the day amounts to minimum wage.
Talking about the losers in porn is not gonna sell my books or get my documentary made. So I’m not gonna waste time on them. Why give them any more publicity? We have a show that is watched by thousands of people, we’re now on YouTube, Blogtalk, the sites AdultFYI.com and TheRobBlackShow get thousands and thousands of visits everyday and most of those people are watching the videos. Why waste the time or energy talking about people that nobody cares about and who aren’t ever gonna change? Who fucking cares? Talent doesn’t care. Nobody fucking cares.
If something monumental occurs we’ll discuss it. Like somebody getting AIDS. When somebody comes down with AIDS it’s funny. Do you really think I have a soft spot in my heart for any of these motherfuckers? I don’t. You all work without condoms, you escort bareback. So when the inevitable happens it’s a fucking laugh riot. AIDS is funny.
The only thing funnier that AIDS in porn is leprosy. Now if somebody came down with leprosy and AIDS? That’s beyond funny. Retards? Retards are hilarious. Show me a retarded leper porn star with AIDS and I’m on the floor laughing.
When I see a retarded person at the mall, I have to laugh. It’s fucking funny to me. If I’m around people, I have to hold the laughter in. But as soon as I’m alone I let out a gut busting belly laugh. I can’t help it. I know it’s wrong. But it’s funny.
The only thing funnier than an HIV infected porn star leper with AIDS is one that’s in the final stages of AIDS. Stop me if you’ve heard this one before. That would be funnier that a Louis CK concert and I think Louis CK is one of the funniest comedians on the planet.
A retarded AIDS infected porn star leper dying of AIDS. Hilarious. You know what? There’s something even funnier. Cerebral Palsy. Oh my God, I’m dying laughing. A retarded AIDS infected porn star leper dying of AIDS with cerebral palsy. The only problem with that is cerebral palsy is so close to being a retard in the way they act that it’s almost like overkill.
It’s kinda like when you haven’t had sex with your girlfriend in over a month and you’re horny as fuck and when finally you get the chance, that’s the night she decides to bring her cute girlfriend over for a three way. You’re fine with your girlfriend that night. You’re into her. It’s almost like sensory overload. So having an HIV infected leper porn star who is retarded and dying and also has cerebral palsy is overkill.
So scratch the cerebral palsy. Now if you had a cripple, who maybe got her leg or arm chewed off by a shark and there’s a nub, now we’re in a whole other ballpark. But an HIV infected retarded leper dying porn star without cerebral palsy is funnier than a private Louis CK concert.
If they’re like Karen Carpenter skinny and covered with hamburger lesions you might just blow a comedy gasket. The hamburger lesions are raised so you cut off the top of them and fry em in a frying pan and you could have an AIDS lesion hamburger. Unless you’re Karla Lane having your birthday at Hometown Buffet. Then you could substitute the hamburger with ham. But for all intents and purposes, an AIDS hamburger lesion burger is the way to go. You fry that puppy up, slather some thousand island dressing on a sesame seed bun and serve it up to a motherfucker in the Deep South who’s listening to David Allan Coe.
That, ladies and gentlemen, is funny.
Follow Rob Black on Twitter @RealRobBlack Email: [email protected]