I get emails.

I get emails from the talent agencies, I get press release emails. I get everything. Let me tell you about an email that I just received. It’s from LAX Models, which incidentally has got the ugliest, scabbiest girls I’ve ever seen. They’re just wretched beasts. There are a coupla cute girls, but they’re few and far between. A lot of bottom feeding B-list girls.

They’ve got Sheena Shaw. That’s John Stagliano’s ex-girlfriend. That’s somebody I’d wanna work with. A girl who was John Stagliano’s girlfriend. The girlfriend of someone with AIDS. Yeah, I wanna line up to work with Sheena Shaw.

Listen, Derek Hay might be a jerk off and Mark Spiegler might be a jerk off, but at least their talent roster isn’t the bottom of the barrel. You gotta look at LAX Models’ site. God, they’re hideous. Out of 30 or so girls, maybe 5 of them are doable.

Anyway, back to the email.

In case you don’t remember, about three months ago Derek Hay put out a press release about charging producers an extra fee for testing and got it shoved up his ass. I guess LAX Models and new co-owner Sophia Santi are gonna give this policy a shot. They reference the LATATA organization, whose website hasn’t been updated since November 6th of 2013.

What this email states is:

“Effective Immediately”

“Attention All Producers Requiring A 14-Day or Under Test”

“Effectively Immediately, if your production
requires a 14-Day or Under Test, we will be adding a Medical
Testing fee of $20 to your Invoice.  Alternatively, you
can pay the model $20 more at time of shoot or with
payment.”

“If you do not require an Under 14-Day Test and
use a 30-Day or Under requirement, you will not be assessed
this fee.”

“This is a LATATA.org focused initiative at assisting the Talent with the new, more stringent requirements being placed by select producers.”

“Thank you in advance for supporting the Talent
with this Medical Testing Fee.”

“Sincerely,

Sophia Santi, Co-Owner
Scott Andrew,
Co-Owner”

There you go, guys. They’re going to try to implement something that Derek Hay tried to do three months ago and everybody told him to fuck off.

What’s interesting is that this email stooges off to anybody going after the industry that there are companies who don’t give a fuck if talent has a 14 day or a 30 day test. It goes against everything that Free Speech Coalition and the industry itself has said as to why no condoms need to be used. According to them, a 14 day testing requirement makes the business that much more safe.

LAX is telling you that they know there are companies out there who don’t require 14 day tests. They don’t give a shit. And for that, they are not going to be assessed an extra 20 dollar fee. But those of you who require a 14 day test, we’re gonna tax you an extra 20 dollars on top of the fee you pay.

Now remember, according to Cal/OSHA guidelines, producers are supposed to pay for talent testing. Think about it. You, as talent, are paying 180 bucks for a test. You’re getting 20 dollars back. You’re only paying 160 dollars for a test. Wow. Don’t you feel good inside? Aren’t you amazed that you get to keep a whole fucking 20 dollars? What a bunch of Robin Hood motherfuckers at LAX Models and LATATA.org.

All of you talent who are lucky enough to work for a company that says we’re not gonna make you wear rubbers and we don’t care who you fuck and we don’t care if you have a 14 day test. We don’t care if you do 50 man gangbangs. LAX Models doesn’t give a fuck. They don’t care if they send talent to work with models with 29 day old tests. We’ve all drank milk a day before the expiration date. We’ve all eaten meat on the last day of expiration. No big deal.

Think about this. If you’re a modeling agency and you give a fuck about your talent and their health, wouldn’t you make it so your talent doesn’t work with people with a test older than 14 days? Or is it just me? Wouldn’t you tell the producers that if they want to use LAX Talent’s awesome performers like Julie Cash and Asia Zoe and Romance then you have to have your talent have a 14 day test, so our gorgeous talent will be as safe as possible? Will that studio say fuck you, we don’t need your skanky bitches, we’ll hire who we want and we won’t require anything other that a 30 day test? There’s no work out there, so you’re not gonna tell us who we can or can’t use or what test they need. Fuck you.

I guess that’s why LAX Models doesn’t require the performers have tests under the 14 day window. I guess that extra 20 dollars will go to the doctor visits for whatever disease they’re gonna get. If they get AIDS, that extra 20 dollars will pay for the cab ride over to John Stagliano’s so he can hook them up with the AIDS cocktail, so they don’t die too quick. Way to go, LAX Models.

Way to go, Sophia Santi. Weren’t you a big star at one point? Weren’t you a Digital Playground contract star? Now you’re pimping out girls and shaking people down for 20 bucks. In addition to the 100 dollar fee for some of this skanky talent, now you gotta pay an extra 20 dollar fee on top of it.

The studios should pay for the entire test. That’s what is required by law. LAX Models is putting it right out in the open that they’re OK with violating the law. What LAX Models is saying is that if you’re more hazardous, you don’t get penalized. They’re saying go ahead and shoot past the 14 day window and you can save 20 bucks. LAX Models wants you to know that if you practice more unsafe work conditions, you the producer can benefit. If you shoot with a test past 14 days, don’t worry, baby. And our talent has no problem shooting with a test older than 14 days.

Everybody should know that the LAX Models talent roster is probably disease ridden, because their agents don’t give a fuck. Just shoot em on the 15th day. You just saved 20 bucks. You shoot 10 girls, you save 200 bucks.

Basically, LAX Models is encouraging risky behavior. That’s pretty neat, isn’t it?

Again, it goes against what everybody in the industry was saying to the press about why the talent doesn’t need to wear condoms. The industry said everybody was going to a 14 day testing window because we care about the health of the talent and we want them to be as safe as possible. And what does LAX Models do? The bust out a press release that says fuck that policy. We’re represented by LATATA, which encompasses 75% of the talent. Not the organization that Chanel Preston and Jessica Drake are part of, APAC, which is supposed to hold meetings on the first Sunday of every month. Not that organization.

LATATA says you don’t have to have a test that’s under 14 days old. You can have a test that’s 28 days old, 30 days. We don’t care. Doesn’t matter to them.

So producers, fuck that 14 day shit. Go to 30 day testing and you can save money. According to LATATA.org. Isn’t it nice how Sophia Santi and Scott Andrew are looking out for the talent and the producers?

This industry is so incredibly retarded. You have one organization saying one thing, the other saying another thing. Then you wonder why the city and the state is going after you. LAX Models and LATATA.org displays the most incredible lack of intelligence that I’ve ever seen.

Sophia Santi and Scott Andrew get the retard helmet award. Congratulations on burying the industry. When the governing body of the business Free Speech Coalition goes on television and does interviews about how we’re as safe as we can be because we follow a stringent 14 day testing requirement, you’ve singlehandedly made everyone in the business look like the bumbling fools they are.

Nice going LAX Models, Sophia Santi, Scott Andrews and LATATA.org. You guys are the best.

Follow Rob Black on Twitter @RealRobBlack Email: [email protected]