Married with Kids, Gay Performer Looks Back on His Career

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from www.huffingtonpost.com – “I don’t suppose I get recognized much nowadays, and that’s OK,” Brian Doyle tells me. “I know I did it, and there are photographs to prove it.” There is the equivalent of a wink in Brian Doyle’s voice, even when he’s just telling me he’s a registered nurse.

He assures me that he leads a “normal” life now. Today Doyle is 52 years old, a husband and father, “keeping things pretty low-key” in San Francisco. But even if he has put to rest his life as Colt man “Alex Stark,” Doyle still makes me feel like the conservative one; he’s continually trying to catch up with a boyish sense of mischief that I usually associate with heartbreakers.

“At the time, I was go-go dancing, actually,” Doyle says, with a California drawl and what sounds like a smirk. “This friend of mine had modeled for Colt, so he put me in touch with Jim French.”

Unlike some of the other men I interviewed, who seemed to arrive on Jim French’s doorstep by happenstance, Doyle set his sights on becoming more than just a young Colt fan in Fresno.

“I’d look at it as a kid and say, ‘That’s what I want to be when I grow up,'” he tells me. “It wasn’t some hardcore, cumshot porn. These guys were like Greek sculptures. You knew whoever was behind it really studied classical art and classical bodies. It seemed like such an honor to be in the pantheon of these men.”

Still, Doyle was surprised at how “unassuming” the man behind the camera was when he finally got the opportunity to meet him.

“I knew him as ‘Rip Colt,’ not Jim French,” he says. “Just from the name I thought I was going in to meet some rough-and-tumble, leather-daddy cowboy. But I get there and he’s this really sophisticated artist.”

Having been a childhood fan of French’s work, Doyle found that his first shoot was a surreal experience. “Honestly, my first fear was, ‘Am I gonna keep a hard-on?’ Once I figured that out, it was, ‘Can I make it look interesting?’ But even when I calmed down a little and felt like I was doing a decent job for the camera, it was still pretty intense to actually be there. I dreamt for years about being a Colt man, and there I was, being a Colt man.”

Doyle describes his first glimpse of the shoot as another “intense” moment. “I was completely astonished. I’d never seen myself that way.”

“What way is that?” I ask.

“Well,” — he pauses for a moment — “hot, I guess! I looked just like all the other guys.”

After a few years of posing for French, Doyle’s decision to move on from Colt was a natural one.

“I only ever wanted to do Colt,” Doyle says. “I never wanted to be a porn star. I had other things I wanted to do. So when I was done, I was done. I was really lucky in my experience: I wasn’t the guy that nobody saw, but I wasn’t the guy that everybody saw, either.”

Doyle’s only regret is that he didn’t pose for the solo video in which French asked him to perform.

“Yeah, I wish I’d done it,” he tells me. “I’m 52. It might be fun to have that kind of scandal in my life now. I would love to have my co-workers whispering, ‘Did you hear about Brian?’ whenever I walk into the room. Those are the sort of skeletons you want in your closet.”

I ask Doyle about fatherhood and how he would feel if his son finds out about “Alex Stark.”

“Well, I would not want to see my parents naked,” he tells me. “But if he finds out, he finds out. We’ll handle that one when we get there.”

With all the reluctance and anxiety from the other models I’ve approached, Doyle’s comfort in talking to me is disarming. Before saying goodbye, I ask why someone might be so ashamed of an experience that he seems to treat with such an easy hand.

“I really don’t know,” he says. “I guess it’s easy to let it all go to your head. It can become who you are. Maybe you segue into escorting. Maybe you start doing drugs. If that was my experience, I might have regrets, too. I’ve had my share of issues in my life, but none of them were a result of Colt.”

“And really,” Doyle adds, “if you think about how dangerous things can get in those situations, it could’ve been bad. It could’ve really messed me up. But Jim was a classy guy. He was an artist. And I think it’s strange that anyone would be ashamed of that. I see those photos now, and I look great. I’m glad I have pictures of it — and from Jim French!”

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