Mike Kulich’s PR Agency Scam And Howard Levine Pokes Fun At Slavery

Let’s see what’s going on in the porn world.

I see a couple things. It revolves around a couple of things that we discussed the other night involving Jerry Estrada and him putting out a bunch of recent press releases, one of them with a guy who takes old internet content and compiles the scenes and packages them into DVD’s. That would be none other than Mike Kulich. Yes, Mike Kulich.

Kulich distributes all of the garbage that he puts out through Jerry Estrada and Howard Levine at Exile Distribution, i.e. Juicy, i.e. Exquisite. Whoever puts out his piece of shit DVD’s. Looks like that isn’t going too well for old Kulich. Just like him running for the Free Speech Coalition board didn’t work out too well either. So now Mike Kulich is starting a public relations company. I guess he needs money, so now he’s the boss of a PR company.

I’m gonna read you his press release. Give him a little PR plug just because it’s funny.

“Monarchy Distribution Owner Mike Kulich Launches Stunner PR”

I love when he list his credentials, like working for IVD and Frank Koretsky. The biggest scumbag assholes in the world. Check it out:

“The adult executive said that he created the new firm catering to what he has proven to be one of his greatest strengths. For the past 10 years, Kulich noted that he has worked in almost every facet of the adult entertainment industry. In 2004, he began his career in at IVD, building a network of stores and online retailers.”

Started in the business in 2004? 2004 was when every johnny-come-asshole-lately was coming in at the tail end of this business.

“After four years at IVD, Kulich left to start DVD Makers, Inc. that he said soon became the premiere go-to company for adult studios to replicate and manufacture their product.”

DVD Makers. That means he worked for all the Israelis at Caballero. Tom and Danny Maman and Rafi. As shitty as my reputation is, you can’t get any shittier than working for a Maman. Nuff said.

“After DVD Makers, Kulich started Monarchy Distribution in 2010 with the goal of connecting talent that self-produce content with traditional DVD and broadcast distribution. Since the formation of Monarchy, the company has hauled in more than 35 industry award nominations. Kulich said he was honored with a noms in every marketing category from both XBIZ and AVN and took home the 2014 XBIZ Award for Marketing Campaign of the Year.”

Hey Kulich, why don’t you try to go produce real movies. Go try to actually create something, instead of taking old DVD content that features Sasha Grey, where you put her on the cover and try to piggyback off the publicity of some mainstream movie and trying to capitalize on five year old scenes. You’re a real innovator, bro. Real innovator.

“Kulich also noted his PR achievements over the last year pointing to stories featured in some major media outlets on the web including The New York Post, New York Magazine, LA Weekly, The Huffington Post, Forbes, The Daily Dot, and more.”

“PR for the adult industry has just come naturally to me and of all the things I do on a daily basis in my company, that is by far my favorite. With the network that I have built over the last decade I am able to bring so many areas into one campaign. For a girl…”

Yeah, a girl. So he can get laid.

“…For a girl trying to get her name out there, I have a huge network of stores to do signings at, clubs to feature dance at, toy companies if her goal is to have a self branded line of novelties, important media relationships with both adult and mainstream outlets, and solid relationships with the majority of the adult studios and directors,” Kulich explained.

“Stunner said it is offering services to both talent and companies.”

“For more information, email Kulich at mike@monarchydistribution.com.”

Yeah girls, call Mike Kulich up. He’s gonna make you a star. I think the last star he made was what, Rebecca Bardoux? Or Alia Janine? Is that what it was? Remember those comical stories? His love tryst with two 50-something women? I guess Mike Kulich is gonna be the new PR go-to guy for all the girls to get their dance gigs.

What clubs? Seriously. As much as I hate LA Direct and Derek Faggot Hay, he bought the Lee Network. The other dance agency is A-List with Dave Michaels. Between those two, they’ve got the entire dance club circuit locked down. What clubs does Mike Kulich have? He doesn’t have Spearmint Rhino, because they’re locked up with the Lee Network. What do you got? Deja Vu? What fucking girl is gonna go to Mike Kulich to be her dance agent?

This is just another piece of shit in the business trying to take advantage of the girls. Or more importantly, try to get girls to suck on his dick cuz old bitches aren’t fun no more. He wants some new bitches. It’s comedy.

What about these mainstream outlets? You’re gonna call up the New York Post and say what? Charity Bangs calls you up and says, “I want you to rep me, Mike.” You’re gonna call up new York Post, LA Weekly, Huffington Post, Forbes. What are they gonna do? You fucking con artist.

What studios do you have locked up? You worked for Jerry Estrada and the fucking Mamans. What, are you gonna put em in a Caballero feature? Are you gonna put em in an Exile feature? What the fuck are you gonna put them in, you retard? Just another jerk off trying to suck the blood out of the industry.

But you know what’s sad? The blood is the talent. Tell you what. Somebody do something that’s worth talking about and I’ll do your PR for free. What are you gonna pay Mike Kulich for? So he can get your phone number and take you out? What’s he gonna do? Nothing.

So that’s the Mike Kulich news.

Let’s see what else.

This one also goes with Jerry Estrada and Exile Distribution. Who’s doing it? Howard Levine.

“Exile Ships ’12 Inches a Slave’ From Hot Mess”

“Hot Mess Entertainment has asked fans to consider their new hardcore parody “12 Inches a Slave” when making their Oscar selections. 

“A flip-flop approach to its inspirational predecessor, “12 Years a Slave,” the XXX version presents what Exile Distribution owner Howard Levine calls “a heartwarming story about five white women who have become slaves to huge black cock.”

“In the running for (imaginary Oscars) Worst Taste in Adult, as well as Best Grimace in Pain During an Anal, Best Smile During a Massive Facial, Most Ridiculous Title for an Interracial Movie, Best Picture and others, “12 Inches a Slave” features two anal scenes, five facials and black cock for days.” 

“Apparently someone in the actual Academy has seen our teaser ad,” Levine told XBIZ, adding “We already got a nasty email from a ‘mainstream’ editor, who ends his missive with the phrase ‘HOW DARE YOU,’ in all caps.”

“Levine said he could only respond, “Too soon?” 

“12 Inches a Slave” is shipping via Exile Feb. 12 and streeting Feb. 19. For further details or ordering information, contact Levine at howard@exiledist.com or (818) 576-9464.”

Hmm… So Howard Levine, a jew, is making fun of 12 Years A Slave.

So could I make a movie called, “Burn The Jew?” Or would everybody in the porn biz be upset? Let me tell you something. If you went up to Howard Levine and called him a dirty jew, he would get so upset. He would call up every distributor and say, “This person is so anti semitic.”

Howard Levine is the biggest piece of shit hypocrite walking the earth. I guess he thinks it’s funny doing a 12 Years A Slave parody. How about, “Howard Levine is a Dirty Jew Who’s Ruined The Adult Business For The Last 30 Years Selling Product For Pennies To Israelis.” Put that out. That’s it. Howard’s parody should be, “30 Years of a Dirty Jew Ruining The Business.” How’s that? Put out by Exile Distribution, owned by Jerry Estrada, the dirtiest, filthiest wetback. Jerry doesn’t like that, because he likes to tell everybody that he’s Cuban. Jerry Estrada is a Mexican. That’s what he is. He is the dirtiest of Mexicans. Cheech Marin would look at him and say, “Wow. That’s a dirty Mexican.” Chico and the Man? Freddie Prinze would come out of his grave and call Jerry Estrada a dirty Mexican.

So there it is. That’s the news from Jerry and the gang at Exile, Exquisite and Juicy. Just a bunch of racist cocksuckers.

Follow Rob Black on Twitter @RealRobBlack Email: rzblack@yahoo.com

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