I saw a press release the other morning that I know went under the radar for a lot of you.
The press release states:
“Porners to Host Infusion Fridays Weekly Party at Universal”
You say to yourself, A.“What is Infusion?” B. “Universal CityWalk?” and C. “Porners? Who would be these Porners?”
So you read the press release:
“Adult stars Lexington Steele…”
Lexington Steele. Of course, one of the most renowned and prolific performers in the adult industry. There have been some media reports that he is a millionaire.
Not real sure who Austin Taylor is. From the looks of it, she’s MILFy. Old.
And here’s a name that kinda caught me off guard:
Mr. Syphilis himself, Mr. Marcus. I thought it must be a typo. Gotta be a typo. I cleared my eyes some more, because I was still groggy and I looked again. Holy shit, it does say Mr Marcus!
Then I read the whole article:
“Adult stars Lexington Steele, Austin Taylor and Mr. Marcus are set to host the kick-off edition next Friday, March 14, of a weekly bash dubbed “Infusion Fridays” at Universal CityWalk nightspot Infusion Lounge.”
OK. We gotta little syphilis party goin on at Universal CityWalk, baby.
“With doors opening at 10 p.m., the inaugural party will also feature spinning by DJ Virus…”
DJ Virus? DJ Virus will be spinning at the syphilis party. I’m not bullshitting. Says it right here. I know you think I’m lying like when I said Karla Lane was having her birthday party at Hometown Buffet. (that was actually the after party) The press release states “spinning by DJ Virus.” Gotta be somebody that Mr. Marcus brought.
“…and DJ Angie Vee, performances by Tha Boi Money, 818Ball and Definit, as well as a gogo contest, a DJ battle and free giveaways. Attendees must be 21 or over.”
“”It’s an oldie but goodie of a spot,” Marcus said. “Perfect for adult stars and adult companies to host events and entertain guests. Plus the location is perfect for Porn Valley. The plan is to host a weekly event and have musical guests perform, so it’s my way of bringing Hollywood to the valley.””
“For more information, call (818) 571-9073.”
I don’t even know what to say about this. A party at CityWalk called “Infusion.” What are they infusing? Do I have to tell you? DJ Virus, Lexington Steele, Austin Taylor and Mr. Syphilis are gonna be infusing their special brand of sick entertainment into the lucky members of the public at Universal CityWalk. So c’mon down to the lounge and hang out with Lexington Steele, Austin Taylor, DJ Virus and of course, Mr. Syphilis Mr. Marcus.
This is going to be a weekly event, ladies and gentlemen. I’ve been sent information on the following weeks events. Here’s the press release:
“Porners to Host Chasing The Bug Fridays Weekly Party at Universal”
“Adult stars John Stagliano, Marc Wallice, Tony Montana and Tricia Devereaux are set to host the kick-off edition next Friday, March 21, of a weekly bash dubbed “Chasing The Bug Fridays” at Universal CityWalk nightspot Infusion Lounge.”
“With doors opening at 10 p.m., the inaugural party will also feature spinning by DJ Viral Load and DJ T-Cell Count, performances by AIDS, Infectious Waste, The Dirty Condoms, as well as a Stretch Class contest, a battle of the bug chasers and free giveaways. Attendees must be 21 or over and must want to acquire AIDS.”
“It’s an oldie but goodie of a spot that dates back to the days of Freddie Mercury,” John Stagliano said. “Perfect for adult stars and adult companies to host events and spread AIDS. Plus the location is perfect for Porn Valley. The plan is to host a weekly event and have AIDS patients perform, so it’s my way of bringing AIDS from Hollywood to the valley.”
For more information, call (818) STAGAIDS.
Again, I’m not making this up. It says it right here. So March 14 will be the first party, which is the Syphilis Infusion party and March 21 will be the Bug Chaser party. For those of you who don’t know what a bug chaser is, let me explain.
A bug chaser is someone who wants to acquire the gift of AIDS. A gift giver is someone who wants to share his AIDS with the non infected. Gift givers John Stagliano, Marc Wallice, Tony Montana and Tricia Devereaux will be on hand to spread the wealth. Reports are that Joey Silvera will be in attendance with a couple of HIV positive transsexuals from Brazil as well as Thailand. You might want to check the IDs of the Thai ladyboys, they might possibly be under the age of 15. Joey reportedly hid them in Jake Malone’s luggage when he flew him back to the states.
Attendees with have to sign waivers endorsed by Free Speech Coalition, of course. Don’t want to be bothered with pesky lawsuits later. Christian Mann will be there to oversee everything going on.
Sheena Shaw will be there. She’s obviously a bug chaser. She dated John Stagliano. She fucked someone with the AIDS virus. You know she’s gotta have a couple screws loose. That’s like putting a loaded gun to your cunt and jumping up and down on the bed hoping it doesn’t go off.
If you thought the Infusion Fridays party with Lexington Steele, Austin Taylor and Mr. Marcus was gonna be exciting, you haven’t seen nothing. It seems that Mr. Marcus is the Doggfather of these events. Instead of Snoop Lion, we’ll just call him Snoop Disease.
I’m hearing that Snoop Disease has a leprosy event scheduled for the third week. Not just any leprosy, it’s the good leprosy that you get on your cock and balls. Your cock and balls just kinda fall off. So that should be exciting. You’re dancing, chilling or whatever and cocks just fall off and bounce around on the dance floor.
Now, it’s possible that DJ T-Cell Count may not be able to attend the March 21st party. He has to get a day pass from the hospice. As with all the AIDS performers, the card is subject to change.
If anyone is at Universal CityWalk on Fridays and does not want to acquire any of these diseases, it is strongly advised that you wear a Boy in the Plastic Bubble suit as you walk past the Infusion Lounge. Sheena Shaw could be there sticking a dildo in John Stagliano’s asshole and try to insert it into the assholes of passerby’s.
I’m just trying to look out for all of you. Just making you aware. If you don’t wanna be bothered by syphilis, penile leprosy or that pesky little flu-like disease AIDS, stay away from Universal CityWalk on Friday Nights. The Circus of Disease is coming to town, led by everybody’s favorite syphilitic gift giver Mr. Marcus.
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