Porn Star Brett Rossi Hooks A Big Tuna Named Charlie

Fuckin dead day in porn. Maybe people are off celebrating President’s Day.

I guess the biggest somewhat porn related news occurred over the weekend. One of our porn stars has officially made it to the big time. A young lady by the name of Brett Rossi had gotten herself a golden ticket to Tinseltown on a ship called The USS Charlie Sheen. Brett Rossi is now engaged to Charlie Sheen. Yes, Brett Rossi is officially out of the porn business and has made it big by hooking up with Charlie Sheen. She’s out. Done. Over.

It’s funny, one of Katie’s little friends told her, “Oh, we’ll see how long this lasts!” I said to Katie, “What does it fucking matter? Whether it lasts for a year or three years, she’s got CASH baby!” She ain’t gonna working on a porn set. Not gonna be sucking trick dick. No more hooker gigs. It’s over.

Prenup or no, she’s gonna be taken care of. A prenup states that everything that you came into the relationship with is yours and everything after you whack up. So if they’re only married for three years, she’ll still walk away with a million, minimum. She just hooked up with a million dollar payday. Every year they stay together, she can tack more on the bill.

Brett Rossi must have some super pussy to wrangle Charlie Sheen. I don’t think she looks all that good, but nonetheless, she’s hooked up with Charlie.

We actually reached out to Charlie Sheen’s brother about a month ago seeking representation. His name is Ramon. Exactly. Nobody knows who Ramon is, except that he’s even less famous than Emilio. He uses the latin name Estevez. Ramon Estevez. He’s a Dodgers fan. That’s our code word for a Los Angeles latino. Dodgers fan. Many latinos in LA wear Dodgers gear as well as 818 tattooed on their hands. Might as well have every black guy with a menthol cigarette in his mouth and a grape soda in his hand. Can’t get anymore stereotypical than a latino in a Dodgers jersey.

I find it amusing that Ramon Estevez, who is used to dealing with Charlie and his antics and proclivities, when presented with the opportunity to represent the great Rob Black, who’s got books, a daily show that is watched by hundreds of thousands of people all over the world, would basically tell us to go fuck ourselves.

This is what he wrote:

Thank you for your interest. 
We really only produce/develop comedy TV with prominent TV writers or show runners. We would have to pass on your project 
But, good luck with everything.
Sincerely,
Ramon Estevez

At first I was thinking is it because we’re loosely associated with pornography? I mean, he does work with real people in Hollywood. Then I see this thing over the weekend that his brother Charlie, his only client, his meal ticket, the man who gives Ramon Estevez a life, is engaged to Brett Rossi, a porn girl who eats cum and does everything known to man.

I thought what is Ramon Estevez smoking that he would look down on The Rob Black Show, yet he’s sitting there with Charlie and his little porno fucktoy?

We’re gonna have to get in touch with Ramon again. We’re gonna have to demand a meeting with Rob Black and discuss some projects. Because right now, Ramon, your brother is going to marry a cum dumpster. A cum dumpster is gonna be joining the Estevez clan. I’m sure the cum dumpster is gonna be included in projects that involve Charlie. So if a cum dumpster can be part of the Ramon Estevez family, then Rob Black should too, goddammit.

When I read that Brett Rossi was engaged to Charlie Sheen I was excited, because I think it opens up the door for The Rob Black Show. Not that we can have sex with Charlie, but I think it might soften up Ramon to be a little more receptive to The Rob Black Show and Rob Black.

We’re gonna reach out one more time to the little jerk off and see what happens. We’ll keep you posted.

Oh, and congrats to Charlie and Brett. Especially Brett.

Follow Rob Black on Twitter @RealRobBlack Email: rzblack@yahoo.com

Be the first to comment

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.


*