Porn Valley- Donny Long, www.donnylong.com gets called a moron and idiot because he tends to write like a Chinaman.
So what if his hastily assembled e-mails read like pandemonium at a spelling bee? Truthfully, Donny’s no dope and is a pretty smart, aggressive businessman.
I know because I was at his new studio on Friday, and Donny, with the help of Jay Ashley, is adding a second floor to accommodate more sets. Ashley’s telling a funny story about how Dick Tracy contacted him the other morning around 3am wanting his sneakers so he could sell them to a fan for $400. Ashley, who’s holding some property for ransom because Tracy evidently owes him money, is saying no dice.
On his own behalf, Donny’s been throwing hot ones on the crap table of adult and is building a pretty vast Internet client base in the process. Now he’s talking about acquiring a second studio to shoot even more scenes. But instead of finding a building in Venice Beach like he had talked about, Donny now wants it to be a yacht.
“I’m buying one,” Donny announces. “I’ve lived on a yacht most of my life anyway. I’ll take you on a boat ride.”
I tell Donny just make sure there’s a return stub on that boat ticket. Because I don’t want to wind up like Chasey Lain did a couple of weeks ago. Actually, Chasey Lain wound up “that way” all by herself - a woman with a one-way voucher ready to be punched. For years I’ve been hearing horror stories about how on shoots Chasey shows up late or never, or how Chasey’s eyes roll back in her head like Linda Blair’s in the Exorcist and how she’s on exotic substances beyond the ken of most ordinary tweaks.
Being of the I’ll believe it when I see it school until now, I never witnessed evidence to support the wild allegations and always regarded the occasional death rumors and the other Chasey anecdotes as mildly amusing porn urban legends.
That is until Donny showed me some BTS footage he shot when he booked Lain for a client. At one point he’s heard yelling, “Crack whore, take your meth out of my studio! Get your shit and get the fuck out!”
This is putting it mildly.
You might find this hard to believe, but Donny’s the model of decorum. So what prompted this uncharacteristic outburst was a veiled death threat. When the action got fast and furiously paced, Lain told Long she was dating a hit man. If it wasn't meant to be, it certainly came off as a caveat, and that's when Donny told her to hit the road.
To this point, Lain’s being stubbornly reluctant on the issue of shooting hardcore stills. And Donny’s being aggressively insistent because this is what his client needs and Donny regards his clients wishes in the way Muslims regard Allah’s.
However, the client who probably doesn’t know that Lain is a serious hype and mistakes her for the one time Wicked contract girl of the early 1990’s by the same name, insisted upon Donny shooting Lain.
Lain shows up late to the studio to begin with and she begins unpacking her Rolls Royce - yes, she does drive one- and now everything’s strewn on the sidewalk as though the Clampetts had just arrived in Beverly Hills from the Ozarks.
In the second stage of this elaborate arrival, Chasey then moves her wardrobe inside and in a time consuming move, picks deliberately through it as though a land mine’s hidden in one of her pairs of panties. By now, Donny’s as obviously exasperated as Ralph Kramden is with Ed Norton. But so far he’s holding his own in the composure department.
Lain’s then getting made up and the process takes something like 3 hours what with Lain’s bobbing, weaving and Pentacostal head jerking. This is a very scary moment to observe. Because it is real.
There’s all but an evacuation sign in Lain’s eyes. Which is ironic because those eyes were Lain’s best asset at one time. Now they’re gone. They’re shot. When Nietzsche talks about looking into the abyss, he must have been talking about this abyss. Only the legs remain- they look pretty good, strong and still shapely. On camera, Lain asks who she’ll be working with. She’s told it’s Chris Charming. Lain says she doesn’t know him nor has ever heard of him.
“But I don’t care what he looks like- it’s money,” shrugs Lain through what’s now a Jack-o-Lantern mask of remedial makeup. Regarding the discussion of stills, Lain’s stating some vague case about content and is hardly making any sense. Lain’s saying she’s not authorizing any of this content and in her way of thinking she’s rationalizing that she’s giving Donny an extra scene. Both the math and logic are hard to follow on this issue.
Next, the client’s on the line and wants to speak to Chasey. He tells Lain he’ll pay her $500 extra if she’ll swallow. Lain reacts as though she’s highly offended and brings up the fact that she drives a Rolls Royce which is to suggest the money can be stuffed.
The next shot of her, Lain’s sitting on the toilet bowl and is exchanging repartee about tampons. She’s on the rag.
“Dude, a tampon is as safe as a sponge,” Lain’s insisting. Donny’s not buying. Five hours and counting, it’s become real apparent that Lain doesn’t want to do stills, was pushing Long’s buttons all along and probably didn’t want to do the shoot to begin with.
“I’m leaving, I’m over it,” Lain is saying in a huff with there being no provocation to warrant the comment.
“We’ll see what the world thinks about this video,” Donny’s now telling her. [At some point he’s posting the footage on YouTube.]
“They’ll think you’re an idiot,” snaps Lain in rebuke.
Outside, Lain lights something in her front seat. It’s dark and hard to make out precisely what she’s doing.
Here's the tape: 
