Final: Skeeter Kerkove: I Am Not a Sex Offender; "If We're Raided, There's No Pay"
--Gene Ross
Porn Valley- In the Skeeter Kerkove gossip arena, the undercard is often as good as the main event.
Skeeter called Tuesday afternoon with the express purpose of commenting about the “criminal” label put on him by blogger Darrah Ford www.pornstarbabylon.wordpress.com .
But Skeeter also tends to meander. Sometimes criminally meander.
Before he gets to the topic in question, Skeeter tells me such things as the fact that he just bought a 3,300 square foot home in Arizona at auction for $90,000 cash. Skeeter says he can afford to do such things.
“Only losers finance,” he says. “And I’ve never lost a penny in real estate. All I’ve done is make money. It’s a love story of the most epic proportions. I make money. Isn’t that my game as a convicted criminal? I read it on your website that I am.”
Skeeter’s referring cynically to the Ford post. And because of this case he had to register as a sex offender.
The case involved a girl who was having sex on camera at a party. Her girlfriend later reported the incident to the cops. Skeeter was only an onlooker and his was basically a tale of come see the two-headed chicken. Skeeter went to see the two-headed chicken.
“You wanna punish me for something that happened almost a quarter of a century ago?” he asks time and again.
“Cool. Whatever. I had nothing to do with it. I didn’t start it. I had nothing to do with anything except I was told to go upstairs when I was with my incredibly beautiful girlfriend who, at the time, was dating and fucking Dr. Jerry Buss, owner of the Los Angeles Laker and Kings.”
Skeeter says Buss’ girlfriend was older than him but this comes as no surprise.
“I’m all about girls who are about glam,” Skeeter says. “Are you 20 and look 30? That is hot. Are you 25 and look 35? That’s even sexier. That’s what I like. That’s what I do. I don’t have girls jaws broken on the sets. I don’t have investors tell them to shut up, be quiet, take five grand and go away. I don’t have them getting multiple surgeries and shit like that.
"I don’t do that. That’s not my gig. That’s an Evil Angel gig. That’s a Kelly Wells gig. That’s a Belladonna gig. Nobody gets their jaws broken on my set. They get great food and unlimited enemas. Unlimited wipes. They get the best crab meat. They get whatever they need. This ain’t no Wicked set where you’re eating rotten potato chips and nasty shit. Tell me what you’ve eaten on my set in the past five years. You’ve never eaten that on a Donny Long, www.donnylong.com set.”
“And if you have please correct me because we’re on the record.”
I have to honestly tell Skeeter that Donny’s been stocking his fridge pretty well these days.
“So you say he learned it from the king?” Skeeter muses. “Because the direction I see on your website sounds like a Skeeter Kerkove copy. I think you told him this is how you did it with Skeeter.”
Skeeter’s also been shooting double anal scenes.
“And the police weren’t there,” he says. “It’s hard to keep the police away. What I do is give everyone 24 hour notice. Have them at a pick-up point so that there’s no cars on the Kerkove estate. I film it and away everyone goes. No one’s allowed to answer the door. The doors are locked."
"That’s it and that’s the only way to do it. Otherwise, you’re fucked. You can’t let anybody know about it because they’re all jealous and it’s such a tragedy. Everyone on the set is told if we’re raided there’s no pay.”
“And most people keep quiet,” he continues. “They go, fuck, I ain’t going to call Johnny Thrust. I love the e-mail Derek sent out. Wasn’t that sexy?"
Skeeter also relates the fact that Johnny Thrust was supposedly trash talking Donny Long to Jim Powers saying that Donny was a trick and lying on the websites.
“Johnny Thrust is jealous of the fact that Donny Long is making it,” says Skeeter. “Why is he making it? Because he learned how to work it. That’s how you do it, you work it.”
Getting back to his original story, Skeeter says he was standing in a room and became a sex offender.
“You’re poor and you’re standing a room in concert. That was my original charge. Doesn’t that fuckin’ bitch [Darrah Ford] understand what it means to be in concert? In concert means to not touch. To be in the background."
The night began when Skeeter went with his date to The Rainbow.
“I was in a bar illegally,” he recalls. “Because my adult girlfriend Rada Dhawan dated Dr. Jerry Buss and dated Herman Rarebell the drummer of The Scorpions. I got in because of her and Chris Holmes, my cousin, the guitarist of WASP. I was dating one of the hottest most sought after girls in fucking Hollywood.
"And this girl [the one on camera] was drunk and fucked up and smoking cigarettes and looking right into the camera and saying, 'go ahead, videotape me. I don’t care.'
"But the fact that she drank alcohol made all the difference in the world. Everybody drank that night. I didn’t ask to go to that party. My rotten girlfriend took me to that party.”
“I’ll tell you one thing. I looked sexier than the girl who got fucked. I had longer hair, thicker hair and all that. I don’t know what to say. It’s called in concert. I didn’t hire the girl and say, okay bitch, take your pants down and the dildo’s going in your mouth, pussy and ass.”
Cops never showed up to the party but charges were filed after the fact.
“And my arrest was a year later,” says Skeeter “And you know what the Burbank police dept. said? Because this is on record - no sex crime. Questionable consent. The girl takes off her clothes with her own hands. This is according to the videotape. She’s going along with this and there’s seven seconds of distress. With a sex toy and not a penis. I’m sure you’ve seen worse than that on a porn set.”
“Then she’s on the videotape saying, 'Go ahead, videotape me. I don’t care.'
"Fuck her. You might be wondering why she said that? Because her friend [who ratted the incident out to the cops] was upset; her fully clothed friend was upset about this lady is smoking cigarettes, drinking a beer out of a Miller beer bottles and getting dildos in her body.”
Based on the fact that Skeeter was an onlooker, he was implicated.
“Because I had tattoos and hair down to my butt,” says Skeeter. “I was prettier than any girl in the house. I was so pretty.”
Skeeter says this Rada Dhawan then wrote a letter to his parents after the incident.
“It was unbelievable how guilty she felt that she took me to this party,” says Skeeter.
“I didn’t want to go. I just wanted to go home. It’s an incredible letter. Her father was from India. Her mother was from Sweden. She was so beautiful. And when she took cock in the ass she’d just cum over and over from it. She would even be begging for it: ‘Daddy, daddy taste my ass.’”
“So fuck this bitch [Darrah Ford] who’s talking about this crime stuff,” Skeeter goes on to say.
“How long do I have to pay the price for Chris Holmes having me come upstairs to see something for six fucking minutes? C’mon. Six minutes of being a voyeur? I swear skin tight pants in the video and my dick ain’t hard. Obviously I ain’t enjoying it but it is what it is.”
“What happened to Rob Lowe? He knowingly fucked an underage girl and he videotaped it- that fucking creep. But with his mainstream attorneys he got out of being a registered sex offender. Now he’s back in movies and earning money.”
“Jesus Christ, I didn’t fuck this girl,” continues Skeeter. “I don’t fuck young girls. I just don’t. I want girls to be over the top glamour. I had nothing to do with this shit- I was invited upstairs as the girl is utterly and totally naked. She ended up with a dildo and pussy in her asshole. I had nothing to do with that.
"When the sex started, the girl was naked, on the bed with many people in attendance, male and female while I was still in West Hollywood at The Rainbow. How long do you have to beat me up and punish me for watching that? And only for a few minutes."
“There was a reason why the Burbank Police Dept. said no crime committed, no charges filed. I was a fucking teenager, that’s why it led to the criminal court building. It’s called shopping for a prosecution. It happened at the Cabrini Town Homes on Glen Oaks Blvd. down from the old, defunct KSEX building. I was a guest. I was downstairs with my girlfriend."
"But Chris Holmes the guitarist says Skeeter you gotta come up and see this. And Rada said, ‘Don’t be doing no drugs with Chris.’ I said I never do drugs. I just sell ‘em. That’s not a cool thing to admit but it is what it is.”
Porn Valley- In the Skeeter Kerkove gossip arena, the undercard is often as good as the main event. 
