Rob Black : Asa Akira Is No Longer A Slob; Gets Her Dream Job At Wicked Pictures

Rob Black was on fire last night on his show with the confirmation of Asa Akira’s long rumored contract with Wicked Pictures. He invited all the talent in the business to gather around and listen to what he had to say:

“What happened today everybody? What was the big curveball you all got?”

“That everybody’s dirty, filthy asian whore superstar Asa Akira is now a Wicked contract girl. And that, she said, is something that she’s wanted all of her life.”

“So working for an all rubber company was something that she wanted all of her life. But the pitstop was doing the most heinous, dirtiest, filthiest things imaginable. Without a condom. And then she gets her dream job which she wanted all of her life with a company that mandates condoms.”

“Hey girls! Did you all hear that?”

“Asa Akira basically said hey all, fucking without rubbers and being a dirty fucking pig is like the minor leagues. I get to fuck with a rubber. I get to get a six figure contract. i get to have health insurance. What do you all get?”

“You get Mark Spiegler! FUCK YOU!”

“Wait a minute, girls. I thought if you wear a condom your pussy gets chafed and it gets all sore and now you’re gonna get infections. That’s why we can’t have rubbers.”

“HEY LADIES! You just got FUCKED!”

“So once again, can someone please tell me how condoms don’t sell when I guess Wicked Pictures can afford to sign a new contract girl? I guess that Elegant Angel deal didn’t work out.”

“I have to give Mike South credit. He called it that Asa Akira was going to go with Wicked. I mean, it was two months ago, it’s a little late. I guess it took Patrick Collins to get out of the business, which I also told everybody was happening. Asa Akira and Tony Ribas were coming in to save the day, but I guess when the company was getting liquidated because of Pat’s divorce with Cindy Collins, Asa decided being a little anal cum dumpster for a gonzo company that was out of business wasn’t the way to go.”

“And a condom company that doesn’t make any money and endangers the girls because they use condoms that chafe girl’s pussies and makes them raw and infected, I guess she was going to have to go there after all. And make six figures a year and a health plan and she has to use condoms.”

“Hey LADIES! You know you’re all stupid right? There’s gotta be one more person out there besides Mackenzee Pierce that listens to me.”

“You’re all out there carwashing for Diane Duke and Christian Mann and fighting condoms. You got your fellow girls out there getting HIV, hepatitis and syphilis. You’re all condemning your fellow women for contracting HIV and yell at her for doing the things that all of you do. You’re all told to carry the company line. No condoms and you’ll all be rewarded.”

“And guess what? One of your own gets a hundred thousand dollar job with a condom company and she tells everybody that was her dream. And basically being a cum dumpster was the lowest point of her life and now she has her dream.”

“Can you say dumb talent?”

“Oh, and I forgot. I actually reach out to some of you and you guys direct me to you own little blogs where you wanna work with LATATA and have people sign contracts that you pinky swear that you don’t have HIV and you’ll rub dicks together.”

“Asa Akira is making six figures a year wearing a rubber and what are you girls doing? You’re letting Jerry Estrada come inside of you. You’re sitting there working for Kink getting water tortured. You sitting there working for Adam Hasner and Dreamzone for like 800 bucks. You’re working with guys that are shooting there dicks up and spreading Hep C.”

“I’m trying to figure out how an industry ignores a company that is all condom, all their employees have healthcare, six figures, etc. And there’s still going strong. Now they just signed Asa Akira and she’s now not gonna have to do anal creampies anymore. She’s now not gonna be doing “load dumping.” Asa Akira is now gonna be in real movies acting. She’s gonna have a medical plan. She’s gonna be able to afford all of her testing because she’s gonna be pulling in at least $2500 a week.”

“Can any you talent out there from Charity Bangs to Gracie Glam to Andy San Dimas to Kimberly Kane to Chanel Preston can all of you guys tell me where you went wrong?”

“The job the girl wanted and dreamed about was working for an all condom company. That was her dream and i guess that’s what she got. And what’s she’s been doing with you guys is basically called slumming it with the fucking dregs. Because now she gets to wear a condom. Now she gets to be safe. Now she gets to actually pick her talent. Now she gets to call the shots because she’s a woman. She’s got the pussy and she controls the business.”

“Girls, whatever girls are listening, You realize you just got bitch punked? All of you sexy little Heidi Hollywoods and the other ones that load dump, DP, do it all baby. Shit, Katie Summers has a friend that’s been slugging it out in this business for 8 years. 8 years and this girl still lives in a model house when she comes out here. This girl is like 30 years old and will do whatever is necessary to increase her standing and she cries herself to sleep at Chris at Foxxx Modeling’s house because she lost an award to a nobody with a big red bush. And she cries herself to sleep because she takes load after load and you have somebody like Asa Akira, who’s not a big tit blonde that looks like a fashion model who takes 17 loads in her mouth. She’s an asian who uses a condom now. And she’s got a hundred thousand dollar contract and you have girls that are willing to blow a homeless guy and they live at a model house and they’ve been doing this for ten years and they got NOTHING!”

“If this ain’t an indictment on every one of you stupid motherfuckers. It’s comical. Everyone of you girls that are with your little pimps, their little bitches and go ‘Derek Hay’s got a plan for me’ What’s your fuckin plan? To be a fuckin animal? Is that Derek Hay’s plan? For you to be a fucking farm animal?”

“If you’re the biggest star in the world and you’re Asa Akira and your pimp Mark Spiegler wants to have nothing but the best for you and you make hundreds of thousands of dollars on the open market letting guy after guy fill up you holes with cum, and of course that big deal with the huge successful Elegant Angel, then riddle me this “Spiegsy.” Why would that girl take herself off the market, pull herself away from “Spiegsy” and plump herself down with a company that controls every facet of life for a contract girl?”

“Riddle me this, if being a Spiegler Girl is so awesome and being an LA Direct girl is such a great thing, and you’re running around doing privates and getting the shit beat out of you by Princess Donna like Skin Diamond does, why would you give up all that success to go with an all condom company that by industry standards nobody watches, nobody cares, doesn’t sell, makes no money and is irrelevant?”

“So all of you ignorant, stupid talent, or at least that what mommy and daddy said you were, can you at least wise the fuck up tonight? When you have a great agent like Mark Spiegler, the agent “Spiegs” who had a girl named Asa Akira, just like he had a girl named Sasha Grey, and he had them doing god knows what, and I guess that path was so special and so earth shatteringly awesome that the minute these girls could leave, they do.”

“Of course, Sasha Grey got scooped up by Steven Soderbergh, so that explains that. But it is interesting that Sasha Grey has never once talked nice about that troll Spiegler. Not even mentioning the guy who got her her big break, the great manager.”

“And now we’ve got Asa Akira. Asa Akira, who is even funnier. Remember this is a girl who did nothing when she started in this business. She didn’t do cum dumping, cum swallowing, nothing. She goes to Mark Spiegler, and of course Mark Spiegler’s rules are let me turn you out and make you the biggest pile of shit in the world. But that path is so successful. And here you have Asa Akira and she gets signed by Elegant Angel, a gonzo company who does the hard gonzo, ten man gangbang, load in your face, choke you out Mason directed, beat you to death like Princess Donna epics. But nobody told them that Patrick Collins was going to change his mind because Cindy Collins wants her millions, so now Asa Akira and Tony Ribas look like retards.”

“So then Asa goes to Wicked and says what can we do? Because there is no way I’m going back to Spiegler so I can have another load times fifty dumped down my fucking throat. And I’m lucky I never got the spyh, cuz who knows how many girls here caught it? And we’ll never know because all the girls who were caught in the Mr. Marcus syphilis scandal vanished or started only doing girls. I sat in a restaurant with Andy San Dimas watching her put her head on his gristled fat chest and call him ‘Daddy’ Spiegs. And then Andy goes to LA Direct right around syphilis time. Wonder if San Dimas got one of these doctor notes? We’ll never know because ‘Spiegs’ will never say anything.”

“So all you 101 Modeling talent, all of you OC talent, keep opening your little assholes, because nobody buys condom porn. Nobody buys Wicked Pictures porn. Brad Armstrong and the crew over there all make six figures and he and Jessica Drake tweet pictures of them eating at million dollar restaurants. And guess what? They wear condoms!”

“Jessica Drake makes six figures, she’s probably fucked four guys her entire career and you girls out there get fucked up your shitpipe, doing privates in motel rooms, all for the love of Derek Hay and Tee Reel and all these guys who tell you to bend over, open up and take it like a little cunt whore. Because that’s what sells.”

“Take a look at the performer of the year. She does it all. You can fuck her in the mouth, ass, whatever you want.”

“What, she’s a Wicked girl now? She said her dream was to be a Wicked girl?”

“All you keyboard warriors, all you pimps and stupid whores, all you medical experts, all your rationalizations for not wearing condoms have now been thrown right out the fucking window.”

“All of you say condoms are bad, consumers don’t want to see them, it we use them it will be the death of the business and now the great agent Derek Hay is saying you all have to pay an extra 20% across the board, because you can’t pass the expense on to the consumer, because the consumer won’t buy condomless porn even though all the condomless companies are going out of business and the company that is all condom just signed a girl that worked without condoms before and she’s making more money than all of you do who work for Jim Camp for $700 doing seven man gangbangs without condoms and doing escort gigs in motel rooms.”

“You’re all a bunch of fucking slobs that are slaves to a system that risks your lives and health for peanuts.”

“Keep fighting those condoms!”

“Asa Akira is now making six figures a year wearing one and has healthcare. Any of you who don’t wear condoms are slobs.”

“Asa Akira is a very nice woman. You know why? Because she now works for a condom company.”

“She left being a slob.”

Follow Rob Black on Twitter @RealRobBlack Follow Tom Byron on Twitter @TomByronXXX

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