Rob Black: Asa Akira Looks Like the Lady at The Local Chinese Restaurant Who Took My Wonton Order and Her Boyfriend’s Pissing in My Soup

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Rob Black on his Wednesday show had choice words both for Asa Akira and AVN, the magazine mostly responsible for her success in the porn business.

Akira is the new replacement director over at Elegant Angel, Black announced.

“They just signed their first directing talent. It’s a football team dismantled. The brain trust at Elegant Angel – I can’t imagine it’s part of Patrick Collins saying this is how we’re going to replace our staff. I guess the trend of the whole woman director-thing is cool now,” continued Black.

“When Lizzy [Borden] did it, it was she don’t know anything. But Asa Akira is Performer of the Year, right?”

Black stated that Elegant Angel’s selection of Akira was both funny and manufactured.

“It’s like the narrative shifting in politics to drum up interest.”

“Our business has become such a destroyed, condensed crappy shell of what it was,” said Black.

“Back in the day when Gene Ross was with me, and we had ExtremeGene – Gene and me would go back and forth, and Gene taught me and drove into my head that he who controls the media controls the message. He drove it into my head, find the pipeline.

“In our world we have the systematic pipeline, and you’re promoting something that’s being forced down the peoples’ throats. The pipeline is how it’s always been done.”

Which is the point Black’s making about Asa Akira.

Black also talked about the class distinction even among porn magazines where Hustler was considered garbage and Playboy was the elite.

“But Penthouse is shit now,” he said.

“Wipe your asshole with it, if you’re a Penthouse Pet. But back in the days it was the big deal for girls who couldn’t get into Playboy.”

“You had all these magazines, and AVN then was a power house,” Black continued.

“As much as [Paul] Fishbein wants to discredit Gene Ross, that was because Gene Ross left and spilled all the secrets of AVN, that Fishbein’s a scumbag. That was the big deal? All of AVN’s original goofy trophies were from Gene Ross. In essence, AVN was starting and building and creating. Back then it was something special.”

Black said he had a sit down with Fishbein not too long ago and even Fishbein had to admit that AVN is no more than just a brand name nowadays.

“It’s the brand, but it’s almost become a monarchy, like Free Speech, an outdated dinosaur, a waterized, bastardized magazine and award show,” said Black.

“It’s a party piece. You hang out with Javors, and if they like the porn you make, you’re in. Peter Warren used to live with Kagney Linn Karter. I don’t remember Gene Ross living with girls. Mikey Ramone got fired because he was fucking around with porn chicks and that was at the tail end of AVN’s prominence. Ramone was fucking people and giving them awards and stuff.”

“Find me people who can say I went out with Gene Ross, partied with him and got awards. AVN for the most part was a flawed system, but it tried.”

Black said even “mopey porn guys” are at least trying to be a Tom Byron so there’s something to be said for making an attempt.

“There’s no trying any more in this business. Now if you get with the right agent, they will let you be friends with reviewers on Adult DVD Talk, this message board/review site. There they have marks and jack offs – guys who watch porn and write reviews.

“These are guys who are fans and watch tons of porn. And loser directors like us read this stuff and think it’s a big deal. Oh I’m the Number 1 Twitter girl look at me. This Chinese guy who writes reviews for them is creepy. The distributors are going, oh that was a good review, let’s buy ten extra pieces.

“This reviewer has got a Chinaman mustache that looks creepy and dirty and he wears these glasses. He looks exactly like you’d imagine a creepy Chinaman to look like. He writes these reviews and goes to all the conventions and hangs out The Circle Bar sipping his drinks with another loser friend.

“People like Spiegler hang out with him. This guy has actually partied with Spiegler girls- this Chinese guy who writes reviews for free. He’s a mark, a fucking mark. This guy gets his breaks from Spiegler. This guy is instantly enamored with Spiegler girls so now any movie he reviews with Spiegler girls, it gets the greatest review. That’s how it works. Kristina Rose is an excellent performer? Yeah, I got it. That’s the gimmick. We see these people. We hang out with these people.”

The only two reviewers that are worth their salt now are Roger T. Pipe and Houston Don, said Black.

“I communicated with them throughout my career. I’ve had conversations with them about my movies. I’ve had conversations where they told me this, this and that. Eli Cross at AVN started as a freelance writer, and he’d give me four stars. I’d march in there, and I’d go what the fuck? Mikey Ramone, how could you not like this movie?

“Lizzy and I did a scene where Julie Knight swallowed a gold fish and threw it back up. It didn’t get nominated for Outrageous Sex Scene. Eli told me people had problem with the fish thing. It’s a fucking fish, you retard. It was a gimmick.

“Have you ever seen an AVN review now that’s shitty? Black asked.

“Back then AVN would tell you to go fuck yourself. I remember when Eli Cross would yell at you. He would challenge you to tell him how that movie was good. He would yell at you. Gene would yell at you, but people would have to agree the movie was horrible. Now the system is all a shell.

“Asa Akira has been the flavor of two years,” said Black.

“She’s probably a very nice woman. She does good scenes, I guess. But you’re gonna tell me that woman is what American people want? That is who the star of the business is? Call me racist. Fuck you, Asians. I could give two shits about Asians. I’m perplexed of the concept that this performer, some Asian chick, who got with Spiegler and started taking it in the ass ingratiated herself with Peter Warren.

“She became so cutting edge. Pat Collins, here’s what I got to ask you. My surrogate father is actually sitting there and decided to make Asa Akira this director.

“Does she shoot her own films? Does she edit her own films? Hey, Patrick, when I watch these movies that you people say are cutting edge, I see this movie with Asa Akira and Mason directing it, I need to understand that this is the company you are putting in the hands of Asa Akira. So L.T., Asa Akira and Carlos the box guy- those three geniuses are running your company?

“Pat, this is stuff we did years ago and it was lame boring stuff then. The concept is we’re going to a nice big house or we’re going to an abandoned warehouse. I think we had like 12 movies done in an abandoned warehouse.

“So you’re in a warehouse, or you’re in a mansion. Then you have the film look. Your concept, then, is we’re going to have the girl shot in black & white, either in makeup or some interview candid situation where she’s talking about a dark fantasy and likes to be choked out by Mr. Pete. Then you see an image of a girl walking through an abandoned warehouse.

“Patrick, we were doing this stuff years ago. Where’s the cutting edge? We were running the west coast offense 15 years ago. Everyone knows the west coast offense now. This deepest, darkest fantasy is shot in black & white, and you get fucked until you pass out. That’s cutting edge stuff?

“You really look at that stuff that your Canadian football team did and you said that’s cutting edge? Gangbang Angels, Stephanie Swift a girl you’d think would never have her asshole violated- look at that. That was awesome.”

“Pat, we did the Asian gangbang in a soup kitchen, remember that one? A little more creative than the black and white stuff. We did that already!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

“Asa Akira, you couldn’t wear the underwear of Stephanie Swift. The biggest movie was Cumback Pussy 6 with Asia Carrera. You couldn’t wear the underwear of Asia Carrera. You are an Asian flunky that comes in a long line of great Asian women. You did nothing until you got with Mark Spiegler, and you met Peter Warren and worked the corrupt system of AVN.

“You are performer of the year and director at Elegant Angel? You couldn’t use the chopsticks of Stephanie Swift who had her tits cuts off because she had cancer. And you have the balls to take over a series I created? I created that. What qualifies you as a director, you got fucked in the ass?

“Asa Akira you have a long way to go. Make sure you stay with Spiegler and hope AVN doesn’t change guard. You better pray to the Asian god above that the great Patrick Collins doesn’t wake up and decides he wants to field a super bowl team again.”

Black went on to say that AVN “is just a piece of shit magazine now.”

“Steve Javors every night is hanging out with porn people. If that was Gene Ross, Mike South would be all over it. AVN doesn’t even try to put a shell up that they have any type of integrity whatsoever.”

Black went on to tell a story concerning me and AVN which I’ll save for the weekend because I want to comment more on it.

Black also noted that the “It” porn girl used to reflect the culture.

“She’d be a Sasha Grey. She’d be a Jenna Jameson. Now she’s some Spiegler girl Asian who takes it up the ass and is part of the Javors/Peter Warren clique.”

Black said proof of the corruption is how someone like Akira with average looks is anointed as the star of the business.

“I see Allie Haze. I see Jessica Drake. I don’t see Margaret Cho captivating the world. I’d think the porn business would be the same as pop culture. Before Kylie Ireland got with Eli Cross and he made her look like an old biker broad on Sons of Anarchy, at one point she was a VCA contract girl and was a beautiful woman. She got AVN awards and people got it.

“Asa Akira has been around since 2008 and no one in the mainstream gives a shit. Because you look like the lady at the local Chinese restaurant who took my wonton order and her boyfriend in the back is pissing in my soup.”

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