Sean Awards the Stories of the Week: Intelligence Was In Short Supply this Week

Sean writes – We don’t make the news, we just exploit it.

The Norman Einstein award goes to Billy Gibby.

This genius rose to Internet prominence for changing his name to “Hostgator Dotcom” and being paid to have porn website logos tattooed to his face.

Back on his meds, this rocket surgeon realized getting his face tattooed wasn’t the brightest thing he ever decided to do.

Now Billy wants to have the tats removed so I guess instead of getting a job to pay for the removal he wants to sell ad space on the rest of his body to accomplish this.

“I have space on my arms, hands, chest and the legs,” Billy said.

I just hope he leaves space on his forehead for the Idiot tattoo.

The Shy Love award given in concert with the Seka Mathematical Institute in conjunction with the Asia Carrera Mensa Foundation goes to Veruca James.

Hailing from the great state of corruption, James attended high school in a Chicago suburb, and then she graduated from DePaul University [which gave up men’s college basketball about 35 years ago] with a double major in accounting and finance.

James grew tired of her ho-hum CPA job and a year-old marriage by casting them aside and launching her new career in porn.

James wants to perform for as long as she can, but she harbors no delusions. She knows that the time will come when people “don’t want to see you naked,” she says, adding, “I’d like to start building a more diversified portfolio. Eventually I’d like to have my own company, and do my own shooting. Something where I could keep my own books.”

Being a CPA she may want to check recent porn industry spread sheets to realize that porn revenues are dropping faster than a $20 Tijuana hooker. Then again, one must follow their dreams, right?….into the toilet.

The Frank R. Murrow Journalism award goes to Joseph Perkins, columnist for the Orange County Register.

Ah, yes, Orange County, the bastion of conservative right-wing crackpots that gave this country the likes of B-1 Bob Dornan brings us another anomaly: Joseph Perkins.

Perkins, an African-American, is a self-described social conservative. That combination is about as rare as seeing Ron Jeremy pick up a dinner check.

Apparently our award winner was out tooling around on the 405 when he passed a billboard advertising Adultcon and became enraged at this blatant attempt by the porn industry to further corrupt society.

Incensed by this dastard invasion of all things pure in America, Perkins apparently did a Google search looking for all things negative about this industry no matter that most of this research is trumped up malarkey.

For example:

* Pornography [is a] ‘depravity that exacts a social cost far worse than, say, tobacco or guns.’

This clown actually wrote that. I’m sorry, I can’t respond to stupid.

* [An oldie but a goodie] A 2003 survey of divorce lawyers by the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers found that nearly 60 percent of broken marriages were the result of a spouse looking at excessive amounts of Internet pornography.

If I understand this, 60% of the 50% divorce rate in this country is a direct result of porn? And 60% of the time it works every time [Anchorman fans got the joke].

* [Ah, yes, sending the mixed message] A 2007 study by psychologists at the Federal Bureau of Prisons confirmed a link between child pornography and child molestation. It surveyed men convicted of downloading child pornography. Of those, 85 percent admitted to sexually abusing kids.

Comparing child porn and the porn industry is an antiquated attempt by those against legal pornography to confuse and enrage those less educated in the two subjects.

* Twenty-six porn stars died of AIDS, drugs, suicide or homicide between 2007 and 2010, according to The Pink Cross Foundation, a faith-based organization – co-founded by former porn star Shelley Lubben.

Using hearsay numbers produced and distributed by a known anti-pornography organization such as The Pink Cross Foundation without proper facts backing up its claims is reckless journalism.

Everyone is entitled to their opinion on issues but Perkins should use better sources to back up his claims. By using non-governmental organizations that have their own agenda makes him lazy and his readers less informed and misguided.

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