Sean Awards the Stories of the Week: Jenna Jameson and Dr. Jerry Buss Receive A Nod

Sean writes – We don’t make the news, we just exploit it.

The Gotta Keep Paying the Bills award goes to Jenna Jameson.

It was reported this week that Jenna partied the night away in Las Vegas in celebration of her 39th birthday. The shindig was held at Crazy Horse III gentlemen’s club.

I guess Chuck E. Cheese was booked or the mouse doesn’t pay enough for appearance fees.

Her on again/off again meat puppet, Tito Ortiz, didn’t attend the Vegas celebration since they reportedly celebrated her birthday with the twins [her kids not her breasts] the week prior. Never mind that her birthday is officially April 9.

If Jenna needs other reasons to have more celebrations/income generators might I suggest these other opportunities?

She could celebrate her overstuffed lips while hosting a party at the Ducks Unlimited convention.

Jenna could also host a bash to commemorate the rebirth of her money maker the anniversary she had vaginoplasty or to celebrate national pastrami month. And I’m not even going to mention the gathering she could host for the Chinese New Year.

Whose Your Daddy award goes to polo playing creep, John Goodman [the air conditioner mogul, not the actor].

I guess killing a fellow motorist while allegedly drunk wasn’t enough. Goodman was compelled to come up with a cockamamie scheme to screw his own kids out of part of their multi-million dollar trust fund.

While awaiting trial for killing the motorist, Goodman hatched the idea of adopting his much younger girl thus enabling her to benefit from his kid’s trust.

This week appeals judges ruled Goodman had tried to concoct a “fraud.”

Senior Judge Alan R. Schwartz went further: “Even if the motivation and the means for securing it [the adoption] were not so reprehensible, I believe … the adoption of a paramour is so contrary to the beneficent purposes of such an action that no such judgment can ever be sustained.”

In layman’s terms the court told Johnny to go fuck himself.

Goodman was convicted by a jury and sentenced to 16 years in prison for killing the motorist and is currently free on bail as courts consider his appeal.

The AdultFYI Hero award goes to the late owner of the LA Lakers, Dr. Jerry Buss.

Dr. Buss died February 18th. The 80-year-old was arguably the greatest NBA owner in the history of the league. He was also a world-class Playmate aficionado who frequently dated teenage girls and used to host his birthday party at a brothel. It’s also a pretty well known fact that he kept company with a number of ladies from the porn community.

This week it was reported that Dr. Buss Willed to his last girlfriend, Delia Cortez, many decades younger than him, a condo in Hawaii and his 2009 Bentley.

Delia, who’s in her late 20s, says she knew all along Dr. Buss had multiple, young girlfriends. Dr. Buss was famously a player in L.A., but Delia says she was his #1. Delia ungenerously added, “The others were just slutty arm candy.” [Pot meet kettle.]

A multi-millionaire that had more ass than a toilet seat: We all can look up to a man like that.

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