Sean Awards the Stories of the Week: Lindsay Lohan, Ron Jeremy, and Christie Hefner Strike Gold

Sean writes – Super Bowl Prop Bet: After the game will the Harbaugh brothers (A) shake hands (B) hug (C) punch either other

We don’t make the news, we just exploit it.

The Dave Cummings award sponsored by AAPR goes to 71-year-old Sygun Liebhart.

Liebhart was arrested on prostitution charges following a raid at a Glastonbury hotel.

According to agent James Kennedy of the Glastonbury Police Department, authorities were tipped off to 71-year-old Liebhart’s alleged prostitution activities by an advertisement in the classified section of Backpage.com.

Going by the name “Lola,” her ad read in part:

“Older is Better … A well preserved [with embalming fluid?] beauty. All natural and busty 38DD. Sexy, fit, warm [room temperature?] and friendly.”

God bless her. With cuts in Social Security, Grandma has to do whatever it takes to keep the lights on I guess.
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The Jenna Jameson Too Sick to Show Up award goes to James Deen co-star and Hollywood train wreck, Lindsay Lohan.

Earlier this week TMZ reported that Lindsay was getting a note from her doctor claiming the poor girl was too sick to appear in court. However, further reports emerged that she was just fine over the weekend to go out on the town.

Fearing that the judge wouldn’t buy Lindsay’s note, she and her mother flew from New York to Los Angeles for her court appearance.

I guess Lindsay values her freedom more than Jenna values her own money.

If you recall, Jameson was scheduled to sign autographs in March 2011 at the Hollywood Palms and Hollywood Blvd. theaters in Naperville and Woodridge, respectively, to promote her 2008 crossover horror comedy “Zombie Strippers!”

Bulthaup said Jameson canceled, citing sickness, just days before the events. His staff later tracked down footage of Jameson attending a birthday party for celebrity blogger Perez Hilton in Hollywood when she claimed to be ill.

That little white lie cost Jenna a cool $92,000.
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The Blue Cross/Blue Shield award goes to Ron Jeremy

The porn industry got slapped in the head with its own mortality this week.

Wednesday news broke that Jeremy drove himself to Cedars-Sinai hospital Tuesday afternoon after experiencing severe chest pain. Docs examined the legendary porn star … and discovered an heart aneurysm and soon after the Hedgehog was heading for surgery.

At last report it appears Jeremy will be out of commission for a few weeks.

Just proves one shouldn’t take their health for granted.

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The Lipstick on Your Cock Told a Tale on You award goes to American Idol judge Nicki Minaj’s long-term boyfriend, Safaree Samuels.

According to Star magazine Safaree was spotted hitting on a number of girls at a friend’s raucous house party in Los Angeles recently, but repeatedly got turned down.

Apparently Safaree then resorted to Plan B: cash.

Money can’t buy you love but apparently it bought Safaree a blowjob from a porn chick.

According to Star’s report, he got lucky as former XXX actress Beauty Dior succumbed to the music producer’s charm and after agreeing to a fee, the pair went off into a closet for a bit of depravity as she carried out the sex act – something that Beauty has since denied happening during a recent radio interview.

However, in an exclusive interview with RadarOnline.com, Sara Percy, a fellow party reveler and eyewitness to the events, shoots down Safaree and Beauty’s denial, and says the porn star’s claim that they had “no sexual relations” is totally bogus!

“I know for a fact that he paid Beauty money for sex,” Sara tells Radar. “Beauty came out of the closet after she was with him and walked up to us and boasted, ‘I got my money, I can go home now!’ Then, less than 10 seconds later, Safaree walked out the same closet pulling up his pants!
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The Half-Baked Climate Change Results in More Gun Violence award goes to former Playboy CEO, Christie Hefner.

Hours before the Senate Judiciary Committee held Newtown-inspired gun control hearings, MSNBC’s Morning Joe program brought on Christie to warn that warmer weather in Chicago has been a contributing factor in the number of gun deaths in the Windy City. “[W]e are having this climate change effect that is driving” young men in Chicago to commit 500 homicides in 2012 she insisted.

One thing Christie failed to mention was that after more than 500 homicides last year, Chicago had 42 last month (the most since 2002) and I’m here to report that January Chicago weather is just slightly warmer than a Polar Bear’s asshole.
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