Sean Awards the Stories of the Week: Octomom Leads the Pack

Sean writes – We don’t make the news, we just exploit it.

The Dope of the Week award goes to Spanish porn star and junior rocket scientist, Ana Marco.

This whiz says she sneaked into a prestigious film awards ceremony and recorded an X-rated scene in the venue’s bathroom.

She told “I wanted to be the first porn actress to film there. I haven’t done anything wrong, so I don’t need to feel bad.

“I passed security and no one asked me for identification.”

She then revealed that once the filming had been completed she spent the rest of the evening hobnobbing with stars of the Spanish silver screen. I suspect the smell of cheap perfume and rotting fish wafted through the evening air.

Dumb stunts like this are why the public-at-large will never take porn performers or the industry seriously. But you never know, the Oscars are Sunday so one of our very own may try to one-up this bonehead.

The H.R. Pufnstuf award goes to train wreck and winner of AVN’s Best Celebrity Sex Tape for 2012, Nadya ‘Octomom’ Suleman.

TMZ reported that the L.A. Dept. of Child and Family Services visited her last week to investigate allegations she’s a drug-addicted mess not fit to raise her children.

DCFS arrived at Octo’s home last Saturday night after a former nanny complained that Octo has been using drugs, drinking heavily, blacking out, forgetting key appointments (i.e. the bus incident), leaving the kids unbathed for days and not changing their clothes for weeks.

Things went from bad to worse for Octo when her longtime manager, Gina Rodriguez, announced on the Huffington Post that she had fired her as a client.

“Nadya is back to the same habits as before treatment and I cannot do it anymore. She is dishonest about everything to the point you cannot work effectively for her because you cannot decipher between what’s true and false. I’ve seen the situation the kids are in and it’s very sad — they were the only reason I helped for so long.”

Rodriguez is not as optimistic. “She is heading for destruction and I wanted to part ways,” she said of Suleman. “She begged to strip for the money and I was against it. Then she got offered to do another movie and she said she wanted to do it. She started telling everyone I wanted her to do porn, which is not true. None of my other clients are doing porn or anything adult-related and I am against it. She thinks she is going to be Kim Kardashian.”

Maybe Octo should finally close the book on her quest for stardom….possibly Mindy McCready style. What? Too soon?

The Gary Glitter award goes to Shin Takagi, owner of Japanese doll manufacturer, Trottla.

You may be familiar with the life-sized sex dolls produced by These Rolls-Royce of sex dolls are amazingly life-like replications of both men and women and will set back you back a cool $5,999.00.

And now we have Shin Takagi who has taken life-like sex dolls to an all-time low.

His company produces and sells child-sized, life-like dolls. They’re made to feel and look like real children and come with heating instructions and moveable joints.

The company clearly states that the dolls are not to be used for sexual purposes, but if they’re just kids’ toys, why the hell would you dress them up in matching white lace lingerie sets and give them teeny weeny awkward nipples?

These dolls are a pedophile’s dream come true but it will set the sick bastards back $6,700 each.

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