Sean Awards the Stories of the Week: Papa Smurf, Farrah Abraham, Rob Black, Manwin and Clay Nikiforuk Walk into a Bar

Sean writes – We don’t make the news, we just exploit it.

The Joe Goebbels Principles of Propaganda award goes to Farrah Abraham and Papa Smurf.

Having been exposed as an elaborate sex tape scam hasn’t precluded Abraham and Smurf from their continued attempt to put lipstick on this pig of a production.

This week TMZ reported that Smurf paid Abraham “in the high six figures” for her appearance in this manufactured sex tape. Announcing this figure garners great press yet of course it’s impossible to verify.

Apparently someone over at Smurf Inc. didn’t get the memo concerning the high six figure quote. Two days after TMZ’s report, reported Abraham pocketed $1.5 million. The two figures shouldn’t be a surprise since Smurf is known for his amateurish attempts for stirring hype for his bogus celebrity sex tape productions.

As for exactly how much money Abraham was paid, the king of celebrity sex tapes, Kevin Blatt said, “I fabricated a lot of these stories because it generated interest. There’s some things you can do and the public will believe it. But does anyone believe Farrah Abraham got a million dollars?” asked Blatt.

“I don’t think there’s a million dollars left in the business. Steven and Vivid are so full of it.”

Quote of the Week goes to Rob Black – “Asa Akira has been around since 2008 and no one in the mainstream gives a shit. Because you look like the lady at the local Chinese restaurant who took my wonton order and her boyfriend in the back is pissing in my soup.”

The Neville Chamberlain: “Peace in Our Time” award goes to Manwin and the fine folks who brought us .XXX, ICM Registry.

In an effort to cut short a war that could have taken years and cost thousands of lives, the two companies announced they settled their legal battle this week.

An interesting part of their agreement is ICM will also start paying $2.00 per registration to a fund designated by Manwin that supports the adult entertainment industry.

The mention of this mystery fund sparked plenty of speculation around the industry water coolers. Many feel this money is earmarked toward the Free Speech Coalition while others kicked around the idea that it’ll go to some special medical or testing fund.

Don’t think for one minute this fund will benefit the actors in this industry. Also, for those who speculate that Diane Duke and her merry dopes at FSC would be the benefactors of this fund, that is a joke as well.

The real benefactors are actually mentioned in the story: ‘Manwin had forbidden sites using .xxx domains from participating in its affiliate programs and showing up on its sites. It is dropping that ban.’

When ICM first announced their .xxx domains they were blackballed by a large portion of the porn industry. .XXX was in large part, and continues to be, a major bust. It also didn’t help that ICM charged outrageously high registration fees.

Realizing lawsuits cost money and combined with the lack of interest in .XXX, ICM Registry needed to make peace with the world’s dominant porn company.

Now ICM Registry has access to advertise on the most popular porn sites on the planet giving their .XXX access to millions of people on a daily basis. Manwin only cares about its own economic health. Thus this $2.00 per registration fee is nothing more than a peace offering to placate Manwin and in the long run filling the coffers of ICM Registry.

The It Doesn’t Pass the Smell Test award goes Clay Nikiforuk, a recent creative writing graduate who is currently writing her first book concerning the sociology of sexual assault.

When not writing her to be self-published book she apparently used her creative writing skills to concoct a hard to believe story about being stopped at the Canadian border for simply being a female who just happened to be possessing condoms.

She relates, “First I was held by Vermont border guards for two hours in the middle of the night on my way to visit Nashville. They searched my bags at least five times. I could not help but notice how often my lingerie and “sexy underwear” were mentioned, how often the condoms they found were looked upon scathingly, and how most of the four male officers’ questions pertained to both.”

I don’t profess to be some great detective yet I find it interesting that a woman would be traveling alone to Nash-Vegas with condoms and a suitcase full of lingerie. This would lend me to suspect she isn’t going there just to listen to country music and eat barbeque.

Nikiforuk goes on to relate that she was stopped again two weeks later at the Montreal airport while traveling to Aruba. This time she had a travel companion who happened to be a married man whom she admitted to officials would be sharing the same bed.

Apparently this woman is a victim of circumstance….or not.

Be the first to comment

Leave a Reply