Sean Looks at the Week of 11/1/2009 In Review; Janine- This Week’s Dumbass Award

Sean from writes: You want straight, no nonsense journalism, you stick with Adultfyi….now on Facebook.

The Dope of the Week Award winner is Joseph David Ramon Moreaux. A shopper told the Simi Valley Police Department she had seen what she believed to be a recording device in the store’s restroom. Police investigated and found said device. Using brilliant police work, they reviewed the recording that showed our Dope winner hiding the device in the bathroom. He apparently had the recorder on as he was positioning it, police said.

This week’s Sasha Grey Media Whore Award winner is Jon “War Machine” Koppenhaver. Usually people don’t give a second look when new male talent arrives on scene, but being a failed UFC fighter appears to qualify as “celebrity” in Porn Valley. After just one scene this chia pet looking pinhead announced: “I’m a full time Alpha Male. I get paid to fight and to fuck….what more could I ask for.”

And as for continuing his fighting career: “I’m still gonna fight…..just gonna do this too because fighting isn’t quite enough money and you all know I ain’t trying to work!” I guess when he averages two fights a year as part of the undercard; money would get a little tight. Thank goodness this media whore realized the real money is being male talent in an already depressed industry. Hey, War Machine, the next time I see you at McDonald’s my answer to you will be this: No, I don’t want fries with that.

Read his history here:

The Errol Flynn Hero Award goes to Augustus Mendenhall. As the story goes, Mendenhall’s father owned a building back in 1983 and he wanted to open an adult bookstore. Indiana State Rep. Ed Delaney worked to prevent Mendenhall’s father from opening the business.

There was a long, drawn-out court battle that lasted six years. Mendenhall said that his family has never been the same since that court battle and that DeLaney “wronged” his family.

Fast forward the story to 2009: Augustus finds Delaney in a parking lot and exacts a little street justice. DeLaney suffered broken bones in his face, several broken ribs, a punctured lung and needed several staples in his head after the attack. Mendenhall was charged with several felonies, including attempted murder. In an interview from jail Mendenhall said that he’s sorry for the way the attack turned out, but never said he was sorry that it happened.

A special mention Errol Flynn Hero Award is given to the Miss California Pageant. Carrie Prejean demanded more than a million dollars during her settlement negotiations with Miss California USA Pageant officials — that is, until the lawyer for the Pageant showed Carrie an XXX home video of her handiwork. It took about 15 seconds for Carrie to jettison her demand and essentially walk away with nothing. Does our hearts good to see this self-righteous pain in the ass get a giant FUCK YOU!

The coveted Bull Shit Award, given to those individuals who exhibit extraordinary talent in shoveling the bovine excrement, is awarded this week to organizers of the 2010 AVN Adult Entertainment Expo (AEE). “While AEE, and practically every other trade show, saw declines in attendance in 2009 due to the struggling economy, we are rebounding nicely for 2010,” declared show spokesperson Sean Devlin. “We’re all tired of bailouts, foreclosures, and layoffs. It’s time to party again.” With unemployment above 10% and adult industry sales continuing in a death spiral, even the Obama administration has stopped shoveling that line of crap.

The Norman Einstein Award winner is Donald Macleod. This Einstein was secretly taking nude photos of a teenage juvenile who was using his in-home tanning bed and saving the photos to his computer in the basement. In a feeble attempt to destroy evidence, Einstein took his Remington 12-gauge shotgun and tried to turn his Apple computer into applesauce. It didn’t work. After a brief standoff, Donny was charged with illegal use of a minor in nudity-oriented material and hunting computers out of season and without a license.

Dumbass Award – Mainstream and industry news has been flooded this week with stories about Janine Lindemulder’s custody battle with her ex-husband Jesse James and his wife Sandra Bullock. James was given custody of their daughter when Janine did about 6 months in prison on tax charges.

Lindemulder claims she is a good mother, setting aside the fact that she is a convicted felon with past drug problems who is married to an ex-con with a criminal history involving several convictions involving alcohol, guns and manufacture of narcotics.

She has tried to provide a good home for the child according to ABC News by renting a “low-end three bedroom home in a fairly undesirable neighborhood in Hollywood.” Lindemulder stated that it is the best she could do “because of her poor credit” and an order stating “I am not allowed to work in the adult [entertainment] industry, which is all I’ve ever done for the past 23 years.”

However, in a court income declaration, Lindemulder listed Earl Miller Photography as her current employer and stated that she makes $12 an hour as a set designer there. This of course is the same Earl Miller Photography that manages her official porn web site. I wonder if she shoots content for that site while she is at work designing sets. So much for not being allowed to work in adult entertainment. Oh, yeah. And then there’s the cuddly pix of Janine with her equally tattooed ex-felon beau. Family Services is just gonna eat that one up.

Belated Birthdays – Avy Scott [30] 11/02, Aria Giovanni [32] 11/03, Buffy Davis [43] 11/03, Tyler Stevens 11/03, Elizabeth Ann Hilden [36] 11/04, Jaclyn Case [23] 11/04, Jeanette Littledove 11/04, Petra Verkaik [43] 11/04, Bisexual Britni [27] 11/05, Brittney Skye 11/05, Anastasia Blue 11/06, Bianca Trump [37] 11/07, Vanessa Montagne 11/07

> Whack Magazine Interviews Tanner Mayes; Balls Turn Her On and Sex with Married Men – WHAT’S A TYPICAL DAY LIKE FOR YOU? It’s composed of sex, checking stocks, email, gmail, eating alot, reading, and sleep. Read this hard-hitting interview here:

> Did Michael Conoscenti [aka Damien Michaels] Once Help A Murderer Dispose Of A Body? – Read the story here:

> “Does Porn Empower Women”? [Yeah, When They Get Their Paycheck, Says Joan Krupa] – Read the story here:

> Taylor Rain, Cassidey, Charley Chase and Eve Laurence are BACK…. to please you!!!!!!!!!!! – Read the hype here:

> R-Rated Version of Pirates Causing a Ruckus – Read the story here:

> SnapNames Scandal: Former exec. Rigged Auctions, bid up domain prices – Happens every day on EBay. Read the story here:

> A Comedy About Selling Porn Mags in Ireland – Read the review here:

> Our Kinda Gal: Miss England Relinquishes Crown After Bar Fight – She crowned Miss Manchester with a half-pint. Read the story here:

> Pa. Prostitution Case Thrown Out Over Government Funded Sex – Gave informant money to pay for sex. Read the story here:

> Pierre Woodman Receives Kudos – Read the love-fest here:

> Another Performer Screaming Bloody Murder in a Case of Alleged Web Profits Reneging – They fucked her over for four years and she’s just now getting pissed? Read the story here:

> Seka on Playboy Radio Next Week – Why not: she helped Marconi build the very first one. Read the hype here:

> “Sandra Bullock is not a party to this litigation,” Sez Jesse James’ Attorney – The saga continues….Read the story here:

> Verne Troyer Handed a restraining order amid claims he bombarded ex-girlfriend with abusive texts – Evidence once again that money makes women horny. Read the story here:

> FDA Warns Consumers on Sexual Enhancement Products, I.E., Stiff Nights – Your damn dick will fall off…maybe not. Read the story here:

> Alexandria throws out adult store regulations – Read the story here:

> As Adult Businesses Diminish, Louisville Tops USA in Online Porn Searches – Read the story here:

> Girls Gone Wild CEO Joe Francis is a Free Man; His CFO Set Him Up – Read the hype here:

> Carrie Prejean Axed from “Family” Event Over Solo Masturbation Tape? – I guess she’s still holding her own. Read the story here:

> Sale of HIV home test kits slammed by NZAF – Read the story here:

> Organizers of 2010 AVN Adult Entertainment Expo Report Increase in Registrations – “We’re all tired of bailouts, foreclosures, and layoffs. It’s time to party again.” Read the hype here:

> Laura Bush Talks Porn With Jay Leno: See the Clip – To which Laura Bush admitted, “No, I don’t. I have no idea.”

> Will Smut Survive The Recession?; Quotes from the “Notorious” Steve Orenstein – Read the story here:

> Giants Ace Tim Lincecum Busted for Possession of Marijuana – He’s a Giants’ fan and a bud man. Read the story here:

> Story of the Day Replay: ABC News Looks at the Condom Controversy in the Adult Industry – Read it here:

> Stripper Passes Lie Detector Test Re: Sex Tryst, Porn Watching with Actor – “Josh told her it didn’t happen. She believes him.” Read the story here:

> Former AVNer Carly Milne excites students with lecture – Read the story here:

> Kagney Linn Karter Launches – Read the hype here:

> Not So Funny: Utah Funnyman Scotty Lee Wanted for Child Porn Possession – Woody Allen had no comment. Read the story here:

> Carrie Prejean Tried to Deny That Was Her in the Sex Tape – Remember, kids, porn tapes last forever. Read the hilarity here:

> Judge to Jamie McCourt: Yer Outttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttt !!! – But she does get to use the pool for 8 hours a day…which is nice. Read the story here:

> Playboy CEO Scott Flanders Wants to Get The Magazine Back At Least to the Break-Even Point – Good luck with that. Read the story here:

> Another dope: Former University of South Alabama professor sentenced Big Time in obscenity case – So much for all that fancy book learnin.’ Read the story here:

> Candida receives a ‘Royalle’ reception during her whirlwind trip to Berlin – She also received her senior discount at Denny’s. Read the hype here:

> Shauna Sand Takes the Load – I didn’t think Playboy models were allowed to do that. Read the post here:

> Mary Carey Claims NBA’er Dwight Howard Whipped His Dick Out – Not that big of a deal if you know anything about the NBA. Read the story here:

> Shelley Lubben to speak to Adventure Christian Church Students – 66% of porn stars have herpes, 75%-90% of performers are prostituted women… Read the story here:

> Kelly Divine Launches Official Affiliate Program – Read the hype here:

> Vivid Entertainment director in Albuquerque to talk pleasure positivity at the Pornotopia film festival – “They’ve had this amazing life experience being porn performers that is unmatched by anyone else. I think they have a lot to teach us.” Like what? Read the story here:

> “Pornography debate will be a healthy change” – Read another story about this sham here:

> Story of the Day Replay: Janine Responds to Sandra Bullock on Good Morning America – Read it here:

> Unbridled Affection: Man Gets Three Years for Sex with a Horse – “He’s done all right when he was on the medicine.” Read the story here:

> “Confessions of an Ivy League Pornographer”: Alum dishes on adult films – Read the story here:

> Another Porn Satire: “Porn Spoofs Make Blue Movies an Easy Sell” – Read the hype here:

> Latest Hot to Trot Teach Sex Scandal Hits- This Time in Nashville – Eight counts of statutory rape by an authority figure. Read the story here:

Sean’s Hot Teach Fuck Scale: A nice 8

> Peach Entertainment Network Creditors Have Feb. 8 Deadline for Filing Claims – Sales went from $2.4 million in 2007 to $290,000 this year. Ouch! Read the story here:

> Damien Michaels Was Floor Sweeper for Rob Spallone; Worked at Brick Majors’ Strip Joint – Read the post here:

> “Most porn videos I’ve seen are terrible” – I’m sure the one she makes will be fabulous. Read the story here:

> Miss California Pageant Uses Carrie Prejean Solo Sex Tape as Leverage in Suit Settlement – Gave her the old Wilson enema. Read the story here:

> Posed as Massage Therapy Student: Foot fetishist Rubbed His Balls on Women’s Feet – Who hasn’t? Read the story here:

> From Shane’s World: Maxim model, recording artist and WWE wrestler in her only hardcore sex tape – Read the hype here:

> skinworXXX Presents iTeagan… The Most Functional Adult iPhone App Yet –

> The Sex Files claims the number one spot on AVN’s Retail Buzz Chart – Read the hype here:

> Damien Michaels is Dead But the Comments Live On….He Tried to Seduce a Pre-teen with Coke? – A nice guy or a giant douche. You decide. Read the posts here:

> Janine Responds to Bullock on Good Morning America – “I am not allowed to work in the adult [entertainment] industry, which is all I’ve ever done for the past 23 years.” Read the story here:

> Janine on Good Morning America to Counter Bullock Attacks – Read the hype here:

> War Machine’s First Porn Photo…. – What ever. Read the hype here:

> “The Rise and Fall of Mobile Phone Porn” – ‘Since porn is one of the few recession-proof industries out there it’s unlikely…’ That should give you a clue about this story:

> New Book: How S.F. went from prudish to porn capital – Read the story here:

> Las Vegas Weekly Looks at Arrow’s “Deep Throat” Merchandise – Read the story here:

> Update: Playboy Channel Getting Heat From Conservative Group – The Family Action Council of Tennessee say the Playboy channel is “indecent, obscene material.” I call the channel milquetoast. Read the story here:

> Carrie Prejean Boob Job Lawsuit Dropped – “Carrie Prejean, Keith Lewis, and K2 productions have dropped their claim against each other…” Read the story here:

> Cops: Texas man lured teenage girls by quoting Bible passages – Read the story here:

> Another Dope of the Week Nom: Christian Bookstore Employee Arrested For Peeping – Read the story here:

> Sneak Peek: Shauna Sand Exposed – Read the story that will not die here:

> Tom Byron On TV and Radio This Month – I had no idea AARP had their own networks. Read the hype here:

> Flower Tucci Plans to Drop Suit Against Reality Kings, LLL – The check must have cleared. Read the story here:

> Havoc in the Making? Las Vegas’ Sapphire Strip Club hit with Class-Action lawsuit – Strippers say they are employees: want wages & overtime. Read the story here:

> Tuesday, November 17th: Monica Foster on Playboy Radio’s “Nightcalls” – Read the hype here:

> November 11th: Fundraiser for L.A.T.A.T.A and AIM – Read the hype here:

> Now a Porn Performer, “War Machine” Calls Brock Lesnar Gay – Sure, make fun of a guy as big as a house. Brilliant. Read the story here:

> Private Media Group Completes Acquisition of Leading Online Distribution Platform Sureflix – Read the hype here:

> FBI Clears California Assemblyman in Sex Case, But He Might Get Sued – Read the story here:

> Star Boxing and Larry Flynt’s Hustler Club NYC to Present a New Boxing Special Event Series – In boxing, always bet on the black guy. Read the story here:

> Girls’ ‘hardcore XXX’ porn version of ‘Lust For Life’ leaked online – video; See the Clip –

> Joan Krupa Foot Fetish/Ticking Video Found; See the Clip – Read the story here:

> Another Sportscaster Caught Screwing Around; And Jim Nantz Will Pay Dearly For It – A Connecticut judge ordered the famous announcer to pay his ex-wife $864,000-a-year in alimony – and… That was an expensive piece of ass. Read the story here:

> Hustler Video’s This Ain’t Saved by the Bell XXX Parody Is Flying Off Store Shelves. Read the story here:

> Politician Busted With Stripper, Sex Toys, Viagra In Cemetery – Corning said he always kept handy, “just in case,”… Read the story here:

> Dopes of the Week Nominees: Playboy Mansion Party Scam – “An exclusive Playboy mansion? Come on now, who doesn’t want to go there,” Campbell said. Read the story here:

> Raven Alexis: I’m hot and a porn star and a player [And Modest] – She’s fantastic…just ask her. Read the story here:

> Paparazzo Made a Fortune of Taking Blackmail Pics of Celebs with Porn Stars, Trannies, Etc.; Faces Jail – This jerk should be introduced to Rob Spallone’s baseball bat. Read the story here:

> Monica Mayhem wants to work until 80; Gee, We Hope So – “… there’s a niche market for everything.” She’d have to change her name to Canyon Country. Read the good news here:

> Chattanooga’s EPB’s adult channel choices raise questions – Critics object to a government-owned utility putting out what they say is pornography. Read the story here:

> Kendra Jade Rossi on Howard Stern; Talks About Her Dr. Drew Experience – Read the story here:

> Kendra Jade Rossi Looking to Dr. Drew to Overcome Sexual Addiction, Childhood Rape – Oh, brother, here we go….Read the story here:

> Codi Bryant Makes First Signing Appearance In ‘The City Of Sin’ – Nice tits. Read the hype here:

> VCX Announces New Fall Releases for Cal Vista Classics – Read the hype here:

> Riley Steele comments on “War Machine’s” Porn Debut – Read the hype here:

> “Beware Sam King Productions – scammer” – The old check is in the mail excuse. Read the post here:

> ABC Nixes CougarLife.Com Ads; Some Networks Also Say No to Ashley Madison Spots – “The ABC Television Network did not accept the commercial based upon the fact that the Web site had not launched…” Read the story here:

> Attack On Legislator Stemmed From Porn Shop Case; Grudge Lasted 26 Years – Read the story here:

> Adam & Eve Announces iPhone Applications – Read the hype here:

> Ron Jeremy Tackles Craig Gross in Yet Another Debate – These things are scripted better than pro wrestling. Read the story here:

> Mae Victoria: The Damien Michaels “Quarter” Comment Sickens Her – ‘It’s the hatred and abuse that makes me sick.’ Read the email here:

> Blockbuster bites the DVD dust- A Victim of Their Own Bad P.R. – Never was a truer article written. Blockbuster sucks. Read the story here:

> Shay Lynn wowed them at Exotic Erotic Ball, & upcoming feature dance appearances – Read the hype here:

> Editorial: Should San Jose taxpayers pay for a pornography lawsuit? – And you wonder why local government is broke. Read the story here:

> Porn publisher asked Jennings for help – Read the story here:

> War Machine Now Doing Porn; He’s Alleged to Have Threatened the President but What the Hey – War Machine? Should call him the dork. Read the story here:

> “Shawna Lenee viciously attacked on Tweeter by fellow performer MacKenzee Pierce” – Read they hype, yes HYPE, here:

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