Sean Looks at the Week of 12/13/2009 in Review; Dope of The Week Winner Blames Bang Bros.

Sean from writes : You want straight, no nonsense journalism, you stick with Adultfyi….now on Facebook.

The Dope of the Week Award winner is Raul Quintana [pictured]. This dope was losing his ass on a few condos he owns in Miami. To make some quick cash this ass-clown decided to rent one to for what he claims was just a six-hour photo shoot for $600. He also claims he didn’t realize there would be nudity, let alone an actual location for a porn shoot. Yeah, right.

On October 8, this idiot filed suit in Miami-Dade Civil Court against, claiming the porn outfit “knowingly made false and deceptive representations,” “caused [Quintana] ridicule,” and hurt his business. Quintana, meanwhile, is in trouble. His three remaining luxury units are now worth $5.6 million — almost $3 million less than their purchase prices. Banks might soon take them over. This dope was quoted as saying, “Bang Bros really banged my life.” Once again we have a dope blaming all his problems on the porn industry. His troubles couldn’t have anything to do with the miserable economy and a depressed real estate market, could it? Enjoy your trophy, you fucking dope.

This week’s Sasha Grey Media Whore Award winner is Tiger’s bimbo #14, Theresa Rogers. When her story first broke she has refused comment on her connection to Tiger. Then she hired shark attorney, Gloria Allred, and she started seeing a big payday and now she can’t shut up. “Theresa was bragging about her affair with Tiger last week. She wasn’t making a secret out of it at a social event.”

The Errol Flynn Hero Award goes to Erin Andrews’ stalker Michael David Barrett. Sure, what he did was despicable, but it was reported that along with flying to various locations throughout the US to tape Andrews in the buff, this dirt bag also had time to allegedly tape well over 12 other women. This creep proves he has brass balls [and a traveling budget] the size of Texas for pulling those stunts and therefore he is our hero.

Bullshit Quote of the Week award goes to Holly Sampson for this gem: “I just don’t believe in sleeping with married men. If I had the opportunity to sleep with Tiger while he was married I would never have done that.” Who are you crappin’?

The Creep of the Week award winner is Anna Bambino. It appears this Jenny Craig reject was feeling sexy one night and decided to invite a married couple over for some three-way sex. With a body that only Porky Pig could love, the Big Bambino couldn’t take ‘no’ for an answer and followed up with 5 more phone calls. At that point the couple called police to report an assault on their good taste. After a two month investigation, police finally arrested this morbidly obese winner of the John Goodman look-a-like contest for breach of peace. This poster child for celibacy admitted to placing the calls claiming she was drunk at the time. Enjoy your trophy, you creep. But don’t eat it because it isn’t made out of chocolate.

Belated Birthdays – Aletta Ocean [22] 12/14, Ginger Lynn Allen [47] 12/14, Ryan Madison [33] 12/16, Tiffany Towers [38] 12/19

> Tera Patrick: Evan Seinfeld Chose Being in Porn Flicks Over Her; Her Book Tells “All the Secrets” – ‘You promised me you’d only do porn for a few years. Your few years are up.’ Read the story here:

> Report from the Inland Empire: Strip clubs stinging from recession – “Where else can you see naked chicks for five dollars,” he said. “It’s awesome.” Read the story here:

> Former WCW and ECW Diva In Tiger Woods Porn Movie – Will she play Tiger’s wife or one of the twelve blonde bimbos he fucked around with. Read the story here:

> X-Play to Release Greatest Hits Collection: TV’s Greatest Parody Hits – Read the hype:

> Jimmy Flynt Sues His Brother Larry- Wants Half the Porn Empire and the Partnership Ended – This is going to be great. Read the story here:

> Kagney Linn Karter Gives Sexy Advice as ‘Superhero Sex Therapist’ – Read the hype:

> Adam & Eve Asks American Adults “Have YOU Ever Thought About Swapping Partners?” – I ask A&E: who comes up with these stupid surveys? Read the hype:

> Courtney Nominated for Xbiz Awards Porn Star Website of the Year – Read the hype:

> Nyomi Banxxx Wins “Best Original Song” Nomination – Read the hype:

> Report: Vivid’s Bill Asher Buys Into Playboy – “Certainly, anybody who has a brain would be interested.” Read the story here:

> This Month: Howard TV On Demand Presents: Wild and Sexy Porn Stars – Gee, Howard, that’s really different from your normal show. Read the hype:

> Heidi Fleiss Says Had She Been Tiger’s Madam She Would Have Kept Her Yap Shut – And if the Queen had balls she’d be king. Read the story here:

> Playboy model Pushed Musician Paul Hardcastle’s daughter’s Head Down a Toilet Bowl – Tiger is lucky he wasn’t married to this chick. Read the story here:

> Taking a Page out of the Steve Hirsch Playbook, Scores Offers Tiger Woods a Deal He’ll Never Accept – We wouldn’t hold our breaths on getting a reply quickly…or at all. Read the story here:

> Jamie Jungers Took Nude Photos of a Passed Out Drunk Tiger Woods Says Aunt – This is the same Jamie Jungers who said she had no proof of her relationship with Tiger. Read the story here:

> Battle Royal? Not Married with Children XXX vs Not the Cosbys XXX as Best Parody – Read the hype here:

> Gloria Allred — Porn Inspiration – Read the hype here:

> Owner of AEE Completes Financial Restructuring – Read the hype here:

> CEO’s offer to buy strip-club company VCG ‘inadequate,’ board panel says – Lowrie’s group offered $2.10 a share… Read the story here:

> Steve Hirsch, Larry Flynt Rumored Buyers of Playboy? – “I’ve heard there are a couple of suitors, but no details,” says Paul Fishbein of Adult Video News. Read the story here:

Sean: Well, if Fishbein said it then it must be true.

> Tiger Supposedly Told Mistress Marriage was a PR Image Enhancer – Big deal, he told every one of his bimbos the same story. Read the story here:

> Punching, Hair Pulling, and Another Day in Court for Joe Francis in Jayde Nicole Lawsuit – Punching and hair pulling: sounds like an FYI editorial meeting. Read the story here:

> No more breast enlargements for girls under 18, Italian government orders – Read the story here:

> Free Speech Coalition Drafts Performer-Safety Plan – The FSC’s bloodborne pathogen exposure control plan would be voluntary… Read the hype here:

Sean: A voluntary plan? Yeah, like that is going to get Cal-OSHA off their ass….idiots.

> Cleopatra of the Nile Among the New Group of Inductees Into The Legends of Erotica Hall of Fame – The other Legends to be inducted this year are Roxanne Hall, Kylie Ireland, Joanna Storm, Peter North and the late Shauna Grant. Read the hype here:

Sean: North’s hairpiece will be inducted next year.

> eBay and Craigslist Go After Each Other in Court – Read the story here:

> Hefto Arrested for Demanding Three-Way Sex with Couple – She admitted to making the calls and said she was intoxicated at the time. Read the story here:

Sean’s Hefto Fuck Scale: Sweet Jews for Jesus, I think she broke my scale. >>>TILT<<< >>>TILT<<< >>>TILT<<< > Sexual Harrassment Alleged at US Postal Service Contracting Plant – And the lawyers get rich. Read the story here:

> Brings Ashley Fires, Audrina Hill, and Jade Indica to Sign at AEE – Ashley Fires: I’d like to tame her shrew. Read the hype here:

> Adult Video Universe Partners with Zero Tolerance for Exclusive Release – Read the hype here:

> Castle Megastore Nominated for XBIZ Award for Retailer of the Year for a Second Year – They must be the only retailer still in business. Read the hype here:

> “Must See Girl” Angelina Armani Also Nominated for XBiz’s New Starlet of the Year – Read the hype:

> Study: King Henry II’s Mistress Died From Drinking Too Much Gold – Looks like Hank liked his cougars. Read the story here:

> Who Needs Golf When You’ve Got Devon Lee – I’d like to stick my club in her sand trap. Read the story here:

> Update: Cops Are Liars Says “Topless” Phillies Fan – ” ‘I’m a whore. I love sex. I just can’t help it,’ ” Finkelstein purred… She and Tiger should hook up. Read the story here:

> From the AFY Football Pool Files: Bengals Chris Henry dies after falling out of pickup in domestic dispute – Throughout his career, his temper and poor decisions got him in trouble. This time it got him killed. Read the story here:

> Playboy: Was There Ever a Serious Iconix Deal? Just Like Oak Hill Capital and Golden Gate Capital – No other buyers have expressed interested in Playboy at this time… Read the story here:

> AHF Petitions Cal/OSHA Thursday to Amend Regulation, Explicitly Require Condoms in Porn – “We are taking this action on behalf of the thousands of workers who are needlessly exposed…” Read the story here:

> Graphic testimony in sex-for-World Series tickets case –‘no physical interaction and nothing of value had been exchanged.’ I guess he’s saying her pussy is worthless. Read the story here:

> Judge: Cops Wrong for Arresting Playboy Model – Police screw-up gets a drunk off the hook. Read the story here:

> We Believe It: Jessica Simpson Now Being Linked to Tiger Woods – I wonder if this is why Romo kicked her to the curb. Read the story here:

> At Least Three Tiger Tell-Alls in the Works – Sacrificing trees for this crap. So much for going green. Read the story here:

> More Revelations: Sweet Jamie Jungers a Vegas Stripper; Jamie Grubbs Father was a Coke Dealer – Hard to believe these women are piles of shit. Read the story here:

> XBIZ Announces Official Nominees for 2010 XBIZ Awards – Read the hype here:

> Microsoft giving software to curb child porn – “We can’t allow people to keep trading these horrifying images online when we have the technology to do something about it,” says Brad Smith. Read the story here:

> It’s Paying Big Bucks to Be a Tiger Mistress- But Read This Sick-o Story About Theresa Rogers…. – Roger’s husband was apparently ok with it because he was unable to get her pregnant. Read the story here:

> announces line up for 2010 AEE Show in Las Vegas – Read the hype here:
>Tera Patrick signing copies of her new book “Sinner Takes All: A Memoir of Love and Porn” at AEE – Maybe I’ll have her sign my copy How to Make Love Like a Porn Star: A Cautionary Tale. Read the hype here:

> 2010 AVN Adult Entertainment Expo: Slick Chix Oil Wrestling, A 7′ Mechanical Penis Ride, a Sex Robot – Read the hype:

> Woman Constantly Craves Sex After Car Crash- Has Restless Genital Syndrome According to Docs – Read the story here:

> Cybernet Expo San Francisco 2010 Announces Early Promotional & Media partners – Read the hype:

> ‘Sex Rehab with Dr. Drew’: Penny Flame Packing up the porn- See The Clip –

> Holly Sampson Says She Regrets Making That Tape for Naughty America – Read this idiot’s twisted logic here:

> Jeffrey Epstein: Ponzier Made Reckless Sexual Allegations; Judge: Epstein’s Penis Remain Private – These two assholes are made for each other. Read the story here:

> U.S. Asks Judge to Dismiss FSC’s Challenge to 2257 – Read the hype here:

> Despite Sex Scandal Tiger Woods voted top athlete of the decade – Also voted most likely to flush his career down the toilet for some skank pussy. Read the story here:

> Joanna Angel Wants Her Sex Toys on Your Christmas List- See the Clip –

> Alexis Ford Gracing the January Covers of Hot Video and Xcitement Magazine – Read the hype here:

> Playboy Enterprises, Inc. Names Robert Campbell Interim Chief Financial Officer – Dead man walking… Read the story here:

> National A1 Announces New Sex Toy Opportunity: – Read the hype here:

> Another Nonsense Sex Case- Woman Charged in Sex-For-World Series Tix Sting Heads to Court – She’s a blonde: someone should ask if she ever fucked Tiger. Read the story here:

> Parents Television Council in Uproar Over Family Guy Lap Dance; Files Complaint – “Families who watch television together on Sunday night…Read the story here:

> General Counsel for Adult Site Liberty Media Files Federal Piracy Lawsuit Against eBay Sellers – Read the story here:

> Bang Bros. Ruined His Life This Guy Says; We Call Him Dope of the Week Nominee – Read this dope’s story here:

> Holly Sampson Denies Mistress Status, Plans Porn Spoof of One-Night Stand with Tiger Woods – “We want her to reenact events exactly as they happened.” Read the story here:

> Sunny Lane Gets Ready for a Different Las Vegas – Read the hype:

> Seth Gamble Has the Lead in New ‘Twilight’ Parody, Much More Coming – Read the hype here:

> Immoral Productions Signs Exclusive Deal with Load Enterprises for European DVD distribution – Read the hype:

> Update: Ashley Madison Sues Infidelity Site for Using Her Image; They Sue Back Claiming Trademark – And the lawyers get rich. Read the story here:

> Hustler Founder Larry Flynt to Sign at 2010 AEE – Read the hype here:

> Stockroom, Inc. Announces It Is The New Master Distributor And Producer Of The Original Lube Shooter® – Read the hype here:

> Claire Robbins Apparently Back and the Tongues Are Waggin’ Over at XPT – Read the gossip here:

> From the AdultFYI Football Pool Files: New England Patriot Mascot Popped in Piss-Ass Prostie Bust – Buccaneer Bruce arrested in gay bathhouse. Read the story here:

> Sex App ShopTM to Sponsor 2010 AVN Adult Entertainment Expo – Read the hype here:

> There’s a Fap for That: Masturbation Mapping Utility Launches – Read the hype here:

> According to Joslyn James’ Father, Tiger Flew His Deadbeat Daughter All Around the Country – Charles Siwik hasn’t spoken to his daughter in three years, he admits. Read the story here:

> Update on the Death of Porn Performer Dustin Michaels aka Andrew Grande – Read the story here:

> Judge to hear arguments Tuesday over Accused Murderer of Internet porn model Zoe Zane – His trial is scheduled to begin Feb. 8. Read the story here:

> Local Boy Makes Bad: ‘Goodfellas’ mobster Henry Hill blames alcohol for arrest – “Maybe it’s inherited. But I’m the only one in my family that has this,” Hill added. Well, dumbass, then it’s not inherited. Read the story here:

> Dave Cummings: From the Trenches, 12/2009 Edition- Report on Pornutopia – Read the story here:

> Reports of Tiger Hush Money- Anywhere from $5,000 to $10,000 a Month Via Wire Transfers – Read the story here:

> Audition notice for porn girls to be in John Stagliano dance number for AVN Awards – Read the hype here:

> Florida Cougar Theresa Rogers Revealed as Another Tiger Paramour; Brings It Up to 14 – She has refused comment on her connection to Tiger. Read the story here:

> Julie Postle – Here’s the Fact Sheet On the Latest Bimbo; Ex Boyfriend Says Woods Stole Her from Him – “she promised [the affair] would stop.” Another rocket surgeon. Read the story here:

> Cori Rist on The Today Show: Woods duped me – “He has a way to make you believe that he is a very honest and good man.” He is my hero.

> MIA Florida Tiger Mistress Finally Named- Julie Postle – …and judging by her hair, skin color and liberal use of the tongue, she definitely seems to be Tiger’s type. Read the story here:

> In the Past Tiger’s People Kept a Lid On Things- Whu Happened This Time- He Didn’t Pay His Bills? – The reps were especially worried because of the morals clauses… Read the story here:

> Porn-star burglar Nicknamed “Spider-Man” sentenced to 3 years in plea deal; Mom was the Lookout – That’s hard time for a gay porn star. Read the story here:

> Christians ‘Strike’ LA Porn Landmark with Prayer- “The primary reason [for Saturday’s strike] is that we want to deal with the spirit of perversion…” Hey, I resemble that remark. Read the story here:

> AOL may sell ICQ service According to the Wall Street Journal – Read the story here:

> Taking Action: Wicked’s Joy King And The FSC Discuss Condom Legislation In Sacramento – Read the bullshit hype here:

> Porn Performer Dustin Michaels dies during arrest; Was Tasered by Cops- See the Clip – Grande [Michaels] reportedly tried to swallow a plastic bag of marijuana. Read the story here:

> New prostitution law cuts Significantly into business at Rhode Island strip clubs – Now, soliciting for sex — wherever it occurs — is a crime. Read the story here:

> New Reports: A Tiger Love Child, Abortion and a Sex Tape – *Ding* Tiger’s goose is cooked. Read the story here:

> Holly Sampson Lying? Tiger Insiders Saying She’s Full of It – ‘It gives her a name, and in her industry, being a slut is a good thing!’ Read the story here:

> “Virgin Porn” The New Rage? – How novel…Read the story here:

> XPT Forum Takes AVN’s Kernes to Task for Brian Pumper “Dust Up” Comment – ‘So that’s how a multiple time test forger gets described by AVN.’ Read the story here:

> Spitzer Call Girl Writes N.Y. Post Sex Column – Read the story here:

> Why, oh, why do guys chase porn stars?- This Writer Has It Dead On the Money – ‘I’m saying that men who idolize them are idolizing not sex, but the sex industry.’ Read the story here:

> Report: Tiger’s Wife Ready to Divorce Him After the Holidays – Florida Department of Children and Families, along with deputies from the Orange County Sheriff’s Department, visited the golfer’s home Friday. Read the story here:

> Global Consulting Firm Accenture Drops Tiger Woods – “After careful consideration and analysis, the company has determined that he is no longer the right representative for its advertising,” the statement said. Read the story here:

> Janine Seen with Her Daughter at a Private House Party This Past Weekend – A parole violation? Read the story here:

> Playgirl Passes on Tiger Nude Photos – They were impossible to 100 percent verify…Read the story here:

> PI Danno Hanks- The Real Reason Why Tiger Woods Quit Golf – “That scandal grew today amid allegations from Hollywood madam Michelle Braun that she arranged…” Read the story here:

> Director Will Ryder Reflects on his Director-of-the-Year Possibilities – Read the story here:

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