Sean Looks at the Week of 12/6/2009 in Review; Joslyn James Dope of The Week Winner

Sean from writes: You want straight, no nonsense journalism, you stick with Adultfyi….now on Facebook.

The Vivid Million Dollar Lotto Winner is Holly Sampson! reported earlier this month: The porn company Vivid Entertainment is offering up their own $1 million purse … to “any woman who has proof she was a paramour of Tiger Woods and will sign a contract with the studio.” The New York Daily News reported: ” ‘Our offer is to actual proven paramours of Tiger Woods who agree to star in a Vivid film and provide details and an explicit look of what Tiger experienced,'” Steve Hirsch has been quoted as saying.

On Friday reported: Holly Sampson swung by the offices of the Vivid porno company — and left with a script reading “Holly Sampson Golf Project.”

Congratulations, Holly. Wow, one million damn dollars.

Note to Vivid: If you’re going to talk the talk, you better walk the walk. ONE MILLION BUCKS!

The Dope of the Week Award winner is Joslyn James. This tattooed escapee from the freak show jumped on the Tiger Woods’ bimbo carousel looking for a big payday. I guess this dope didn’t realize your friends in the mainstream press would do a background check. discovered Joslyn [real name Veronica Siwick] is on Washington’s Division of Child Support Most Wanted list and owes more than $12,000 in support. Gene said it best when he wrote: Sometimes it’s better to fly under the radar so to speak. Enjoy your trophy and a boot in the ass, you dope.

The Errol Flynn Hero Award goes to Tiger Woods. Tiger’s alleged mistress #1 — Rachel Uchitel — has flipped out after learning how many women now claim to have had unprotected sex with Tiger. Friends say Rachel is particularly upset that Tiger allegedly slept with two porn stars.

“I feel like I’m betrayed,” said [Jaimee] Grubbs, who first revealed her fling with the golf giant to Us Weekly last week. “And all these other women . . . it’s just hurtful.”

“I didn’t even get a birthday card,” [Jamie] Jungers said. “I got nothing out of this relationship but a broken heart.”

“I find it comical when certain individuals have no life of their own and want to be ME . . . so terribly bad,” [Joslyn James] Siwik-Daniels wrote, according to Deadspin. She then wrote “LMAO!” Sweetheart, you were one of many women. LMAO

For treating these women like the bimbos they are, Tiger, you are our hero.

The coveted Bull Shit Award, given to those individuals who exhibit extraordinary talent in shoveling the bovine excrement, is awarded this week to Jamie Jungers. reported: she “absolutely dated him [Tiger] for two years” and plans to recount some assumable steamy details, she has no real proof. “She didn’t save photos or text messages, but she has quite a story to tell,” the rep told Really? How convenient.

Then it’s further reported: Several reports have claimed Jungers—who says she dated Woods for two years between 2005 and 2007— used money given to her by the golfer to pay for liposuction. But a rep for Jungers says not so. then reported: Jamie Jungers dropped some bombshells about her Tiger Woods ties during the Today show this Friday morning. But while she claimed to have spent the night at Casa Woods while wife Elin Nordegren was MIA, Jungers was adamant that she wasn’t paid for services rendered or that she worked for—let alone knew—escort-service owner Michelle Braun. [Michelle] Braun has provided E! News with 1099 tax forms Braun says prove she paid the two women [Jungers and Holly Sampson].

Her story has too much stink not to be awarded such an appropriate award.

The winner of the Captain Save-a-Ho Award goes to Cori Rist’s unnamed Wall Street hedge fund Sugar Daddy. If the Dope Award had not been given out already, this goof would have won it hands down. This hedge fund doofus admitted last Monday that he wired Rist – Tiger Woods’ bimbo #5 or #6 – $100,000 because “she wasn’t able to support herself.”

“She is a friend and that is it,” the idiot, who asked not to be identified, said Monday. This nimrod said he dated the 31-year-old siren for a couple of months last winter and insisted their relationship “was more emotional than anything else.” “I did it for her son as much as anybody because he was having a hard time with her divorce,” he said of the money. “She was unemployed for a long period of time. She wasn’t able to support herself and I agreed to help her.” I guess she couldn’t find a job because she was out fucking around with Tiger. Hey, buddy, you wanna be my friend?

The Dumbass Award winner is Janine Lindemulder. Let’s make this short and sweet: This week the court denied Janine’s request for weekly overnight visits and imposed two conditions for the Christmas visit: that she suspend her nightly porn Webcast, and that her daughter not have any contact with Lindemulder’s new husband, a tattooed ex-con she married despite a federal court order to steer clear of felons. Because of these little fuck ups she is now headed for a probation hearing that may result in her going back to jail. Way to go, dumbass.

This week’s winner of the Norman Einstein Award is Lisa Ann. In commenting on her alleged tryst with Rob Kardashian, she said, “We didn’t date. But we did hook up about 10 times in a month. We talked everyday. Then he said he didn’t want his mother and sister to know about us. I said, ‘That would matter if you were 12. But you’re 22.’ I resent him being embarrassed by me.” Then earlier on the Howard Stern Show it was mentioned that she did an 8 man gang bang when she was in high school. She said it was her calling to do that kind of thing.

Hey, Einstein, Kardashian doesn’t want to be associated with a porn star. As Tiger found out, having multiple affairs is one thing, but dropping a few porn stars into the mix takes it to a different level in the eyes of many people.

Douche Bag Award winner is Alexandre Padilla. Alexandre is a really deep thinker: He is an assistant professor of economics at the Metropolitan State College of Denver and a research fellow at Reason Foundation [doesn’t mean much to me either]. He wrote a commentary for Forbes magazine titled “Not-So-Safe Sex” in which he described the pitfalls the industry may incur if government makes a law that demands condom use in adult productions.

The following are a few of his bullet points:

“Mandating condoms in all films would lead to unintended consequences that would likely increase, not decrease, HIV outbreaks.”

“Condom-only regulation would also encourage a black market in adult film production.”

“The porn industry could just pack up and leave California, which would render the law unenforceable and trivial.”

“Since the adult film industry is a significant source of California’s revenue, the state’s budget crisis will likely get even worse. Thousands of people working directly and indirectly for the industry will also lose their jobs.”

“The costs and consequences of adopting a condom-only regulation far outweigh any benefits.”

For a commentary it appears this douche bag has been getting his research material from the Free Speech Coalition’s press releases. That can’t be. This guy is a big shot assistant professor and a member of some fancy think tank. I’m sure he did months of research for this Forbes magazine piece. Maybe I should ask one of his FaceBook friends for her opinion on this. Hey, Free Speech Coalition executive director Diane Duke, what do you think?

Belated Birthdays – Angel Kelly [47] 12/07, Chasey Lain [38] 12/07, Ashley Lawrence 12/09, Jennifer Korbin 12/09, Kylee Reese [24] 12/09, Toppsy Curvey 12/09, Traci Topps [39] 12/10, Nikki Benz [28] 12/11, Becky Sunshine [38] 12/12, Christi Lake [47] 12/12

> More On the Larry Flynt Verdict – Overall, both sides claimed victory. Read the story here:

> Even on His 94th, Frank [Sinatra] Could Have Straightened Tiger Out – Read Gene’s excellent commentary here:

> Update on Adam & Eve’s Fun and Funny Golf Project – The skin flick bills itself as the “official porn parody”…Read the story here:

> Jury Sides with Larry Flynt Over Use of His Name – “No one wins in a family dispute like this,” he said. Read the story here:

> RealTouch Media Blitz Continues Into Holiday Season – Read the hype here:

> Unnamed Mistress Tried to Have Tiger’s Baby – It’s confirmed: Tiger is the stupidest billionaire to ever draw a breath. Read the story here:

> Two Hot-to-Trot Teaches Caught Naked in a Classroom Together – Read the story here:

Sean’s Hot Teach Fuck Scale: 2 x 5 = 10…Cha-Ching!!!!

> SocialKink Announces Winners of Lita Ford Contest, New Lisa Domina Giveway – Read the hype:

> It’s Christmas at Chi Chi LaRue’s on Santa Monica Blvd. – Read the hype here:

> Sunset Thomas Offers More Opinions on the Tiger Woods Scandal – Read her wit and wisdom here:

> April Flores Toy Gallery Exhibit December 16th – Read the hype here:

> Tony Batman and Schevelle at The Pony Gentlemen’s Club in Alabama Through Saturday – Read the hype here:

> Michelle Braun: Jamie Jungers Lied on the Today Show – Appears Braun has the 1099s to prove it. Read the story here:

> A New Yet Unnamed Tiger Woods Mistress Hires Gloria Allred – Read about the mysterious #13 here:

> Sentencing Friday in Joe Francis bribe case – Read the story here:

> Batman And Schevelle In The Mainstream Movie “The Screening Room” – Read the story here:

> Frisky Q&A: Jennie Ketcham Talks “Sex Rehab With Dr. Drew,” Leaving Porn, & Tiger Woods – Read it here:

> New Tiger Mistress Surfaces: Loredana Jolie – Is this #11 or #12? Read the story here:

> Tiger Woods paid $60Gs for kinky sex, three-ways, claims Hollywood madam Michelle Braun – Yeah, who hasn’t. Read the story here:

> Penny Flame: Being a Porn Star Paid My Bills – ‘being or acting like a porn star is not going to instill any self worth’… Read the story here:

> Tiger Tells All to Wife, Ready to Quit Golf; Court Order Doesn’t Affect US Media – She found one billion reasons to stay with Tiger. Read the story here:

> Michelle Braun: Tax Docs Prove Holly Sampson, Jamie Jungers Are High Priced Escorts – Read the story here:

> Woods Gets Court Order to Block Publication of Nude Photos, Videos – Read the story here:

> Racehl Uchitel Now Threatening to Sue “The View” Hostess for Calling Her a Hooker- If The Shoe Fits…. – A hooker? No. A whore? Maybe. Read the story here:

> Final: New Beginnings Has Court Date; Issue Resolved – A pile of cash cleared things up. Read the story here:

> Jury Expecting the Case Friday: Trial debates classiness of Larry Flynt family smut – “The junk they publish hurts my reputation, which in turn hurts my revenue” Read the story here:

> New Sensations/Digital Sin Parodies Dominate The AVN Sales Charts – Read the hype:

> FSC Lobbies in Sacramento Against Potential Mandatory Condom Legislation – This is like sending a gas truck to a house fire. Read the story here:

> World Wide Content, Inc. Unveils Exciting New Developments at AEE 2010 – Read the hype:

> Attorney: Holly Sampson Had Sexual Relations With Tiger Woods; But He Wasn’t Married at the Time – Read the story here:

> Mob’s Role in V.I.P. Strip Club Excuses Taxes, Judge Says – Read the story here:

> Thirteen Starlets Are Selected as 2009 Dr. Jay’s Must See Girls – Read the hype:

> Rachel Uchitel Now Facing Lawsuit Over Tiger Affair? – “Ashley told the truth and Rachel trashed her and lied”… Bimbos getting sued by weasels: the Tiger story has hit super nova status. Read the story here:

> Larry Flynt Club Opens as Church Members Pray – Read the hype here:

> Kayden Kross on Howard Stern for AVN Awards Contest – Read the hype here:

> Mr. Skin: Holly Sampson Charges $600 an Hour as an Escort – “She has been featured in escort ads that I’ve seen for the last seven years, apparently she charges about $600 an hour,” McBride said. I’m shocked. Read the story here:

> Joe Francis Pal Pleads In Jail Bribery Scheme – Weinstein’s plea raises the likelihood that Francis is now the remaining target…Read the story here:

> Eli Roth Once Worked as a Porn Chat Room Operator for – Pretty funny story. Read it here:

> At Least One Tiger Mistress Upset That He Slept Unprotected with Two Porn Chicks – she is telling friends she will get screened for sexually transmitted diseases Read the story here:

> Sasha Grey Receives 12 AVN Noms; Only Thing She Hasn’t Done Is Be a Mistress of Tiger Woods – Best New Web Starlet nomination? How about the We Need to Give Sasha an Award Award. Read the hype here:

> Sunset Thomas Writes: The Harder They Fall: Crown Boxing – Read the story here:

> Nicolas Cage’s ex-girlfriend sues him and his former manager for $13 million, house – Read the story here:

> Say Hello to – Read the hype here:

> Janine Calls In To Howard Stern – May Be Going Back to Jail – Read the story here:

> Holly Sampson Admits to Tiger Woods’ Liaison as Well As Kevin Costner, Steven Dorff – She’s quite the little whore isn’t she. Read the hype here:

> From the AdultFYI Football Pool Files: Barry Bonds’ Son Arrested After Assaulting His Mother – Looks like the asshole doesn’t fall far from the tree. Read the story here:

> Which Porn Star Would You Most Like to Take on a Date? – Read the hype here:

> Tiger Paid Cash for His Porn Star Joslyn James? – “She took that money to get liposuction on her thighs.” Read the story here:

> Flynt Trial Underway: Larry on the Stand Accuses Prodigal Porn Nephews of Hawking ‘Inferior Products’ – “Is this less trashy or more trashy than my client’s product?” DeCarlo asked. Read the story here:

> Does Holly Sampson Have Nude Photos of Tiger Woods? – “We’re currently trying to authenticate the photos…” Read the story here:

> Las Vegas Weekly Looks at Sin City’s Version of Porn Star Karaoke – Read the story here:

> Another Sports Scandal Hits: Martina Navratilova Sued By Lesbian Lover – Unless Martina is taking pipe from at least 10 guys, nobody cares. Read the story here:

> Alleged Naked Photos of Tiger Woods Being Shopped to Playgirl – Reports indicate the said cock has a Nike swoosh tattooed on it. Read the story here:

> Sunset Thomas Talks to Esquire and Offers Her Two Cents on Tiger Scandal – Now that we know what a slut Tiger is…Read the interview here:

> Party-boy king ‘shoplift’ spree; Heather Pink pans her grabby Ripoff Artist Ex – Read the story here:

> More on the Flynt Trademark Trial – Flynt nephews have advertised seven adult movies to be released under their Flynt Media Corp. company name. Read the story here:

> JennaCash.Com $100 December Promo – read the hype:

> Kimber James AVN’s Cybersiren Of The Month – Read the hype here:

> My Theory on Why Tiger Woods is Cheating – Uncle Gene chimes in with his slant on things.

> Tiger Woods Now Being Linked To Porn Chick Joslyn James – Find the checkbook, Tiger. Read the story here:

Sean’s Tiger Woods Bimbo Fuck Scale: Sand Wedge

> Lupe Fuentes and Sunny Leone Host the Headquarters XXXmas Party in NYC – Read the hype here:

> Larry Flynt goes to trial with nephews over family name – “They don’t want to be affiliated with their uncle, but they do want to use their last name” Read the story here:

> Dana DeArmond Nominated for AVN Female Performer of the Year – Read the hype here:

> Naked Harem owner Jeannie Coutta’s retrial begins – charged with four counts of engaging in organized criminal activity Read the story here:

> New Report – No Condoms for Tiger – When will the baby-mama-drama begin? Read the story here:

> Janine Loses Custody Battle against Jesse James and Sandra Bullock – Read the story here:

> Sex and the S.C. Impeachment – Argentina Mistress & Gov. Mark Sanford – The affair was discovered when Sanford went missing…Gee, another rocket surgeon. Read the story here:

> VCX Tops Santa’s Naughtiest List With These Cal Vista Classics – Read the hype here:

> More on the Tiger Woods Porn Parody; Will Tiger do for Tyler what “Paylin” Did for Lisa Ann? – Read the story here:

> Rachel Uchitel Posed Topless [Somebody Got a Nose Job, Somebody got a Nose Job!] – See her old honker here:

> Seth Gamble Joins the Rising Star PR Ranks – Read the hype here:

> Janine Gets Holiday Time with Her Daughter But Has to Suspend Her Nightly porn Webcast And…. – Read the story here:

> Tiger’s Alleged Mistress Holly Sampson’s Best Porn Role : Cheating Housewives 6 from Smash Pictures – Read the story here:

> Fleshlight® Adds Rising Latina Porn Star Lupe Fuentes as Newest Fleshlight Girl – Read the hype:

> McKenzie Lee Breaks Digital Playground Contract – “Digital Playground has been nothing but supportive and I am grateful for their understanding.” Read the hype here:

> Adam & Eve Making a Tiger Woods Porn Parody [Subtitled: 18 Holes?]; Tyler Knight Plays Woods – Read the hype here:

> Want to Sue Someone? NY State is the Best Place To Do It as This TV Columnist Story Suggests – Read the story here:

> DUI Mindy Lawton reveals romps in Tiger’s garage and tells of ‘desperate’ sex in church car park – “He wanted to spank me and loved pulling my hair as we had sex. He also liked me to talk dirty to him, but hair-pulling was what really turned him on.” Read the story here:

> Stoya Dumped; Marilyn Manson: “I’m Back With Evan Rachel Wood” – Read the story here:

> Three New York/New Jersey Distributors Are Latest to Offer Playboy Energy Drink – Read the hype here:

> The British Tabloid Tiger “Trail of Shame” Monday Morning Roundup; “Men’s Fitness” Part of Coverup – ‘He also liked me to talk dirty to him, but hair-pulling was what really turned him on. I realize now that all he wanted me for was sex.’ Read the story here:

> ABC News: [At Sardos] Singing Karaoke Keeps Porn Star Industry Humming – Is it sweeps week already? Read the story here:

> Holly Sampson Under Many Names- Debuted in The Wonder Years – Read the story here:

> Introducing Tiger Mistress Cori Rist; Number 5 or Number 6 Depending How You’re Keeping Score – When asked to confirm or deny the allegations, Cori Rist told the NY Times, “No comment.” Read the story here:

Sean’s Tiger Woods Fuck Scale – Triple-Bogey

> Multi AVN Award Winning Director Michael Zen Now Doing Phone sex counseling – Read the story here:

> Craig Valentine: “Content Bandit [aka Mallcom] Lives Up To Their Name” – Read the story here:

> Actor James Wood’s Ex-Girlfriend Ashley Madison Suing Ashley – Read the story here:

> Is Mindy Lawton Tiger Mistress #6?; Says She Had a Year-Long Affair; Put this One in a Golf Bag – Even Tiger Woods has a bad day and this broad’s it… Read the story here:

Sean’s Tiger Woods Fuck Scale: Double-bogey

> If you’re Keeping Score, Jamie Jungers is Tiger Woods Mistress #4; Cori Rist Number 5 – Tiger was getting more ass than a toilet seat. Read the story here:

> Cori Rist one of latest in growing list of Tiger Woods’ alleged mistresses – “But he got careless. He’s been doing this for years.” Read the story here:

Be the first to comment

Leave a Reply