Sean Looks at the Week of 1/31/2010 in Review; Joslyn James Gets the Douchebag Award

Sean from – You want straight, no nonsense journalism, you stick with Adultfyi

The coveted Bull Shit Award, given to those individuals who exhibit extraordinary talent in shoveling the bovine excrement, is given this week to Vivid.

It was reported that a judge had given Janine Lindemulder permission to star in a movie for Vivid but the company has postponed the production until after Janine has finished serving her four month sentence in an Oregon halfway house for a parole violation. A Vivid spokeswoman said it was due to a technical issue surrounding the location of the filming. In other words, Vivid didn’t want to haul all their shit up to Oregon to shoot the flick.

Vivid receives this award for their claim that a judge actually gave permission for Lindemulder to appear in this flick. You see, one of her pesky terms for parole was that she wasn’t supposed to work in the porn industry. She violated that term, among others, and that’s why her ass is back in a halfway house now. It makes no sense why a judge would allow her to violate one of the terms for her parole therefore, I’m calling Bull Shit.

The Douche Bag Award goes to Joslyn James. This week she and her shark attorney, Gloria Allred, held a press conference in which James released 100 text messages sent to her by Tiger Woods. Whatever, that Tiger story is dying quickly.

James earns her award over her concerns about violence toward women regarding a Canadian company that placed her photo, along with the rest of Tiger’s bimbos, on golf balls: “I feel that it is wrong for a golf ball to have my picture on it because golfers hit their golf balls with a lot of force,” she said.

“As a victim of violence myself, it bothered me to think that someone would be standing with a dangerous club in their hands hitting a ball with my photo on it.”

What a moronic statement. No, what really is upsetting this douche is that fact that she isn’t making any money off this novelty item. I am glad to see that she is concerned about violence but I wonder what her opinion is on child support. I’m guessing not much considering she is wanted by the state of Washington for being arrears by $12,677 in child support payments for a 10-year-old son who is in his father’s custody.

The Mr. Wipple Award, sponsored by Charmin, goes to Donny Long. This week Donny started a new blog and on it he takes several upstanding members of the adult community to task. One group that received the most pounding by the legendary wordsmith was the industry’s agents.

In response to Donny’s attack, Mark Spiegler posted a very unflattering clip of Donny in hardcore action. The scene starts out fine enough: until the close up shot… Sweet Baby Jesus! Somebody pass Donny the Charmin! I’m just glad the clip wasn’t shot in 3-D. The horror! The horror! That must have been one hell of a chili cook-off.

This week’s winners of the Norman Einstein Award are Elijah and Milo Peters. This set of gay twins decided to make some headlines by having gay bareback sex with each other on camera. I’m not up on the Slovak Republic’s obscenity and incest laws, but I suggest these two Einsteins don’t bring their show to the United States. If Max Hardcore and Rob Black went to jail on obscenity convictions, these two twinks may end up getting the electric chair.

The Fuck Me/Fuck You Award goes to L.A. County Supervisor Zev Yaroslavsky and Steve “Papa Smurf” Hirsch.

During this long debate about requiring condoms on porn shoots, Papa Smurf, among others in the industry, has always fallen back on the following standard answer to the condom question: “If Los Angeles County chooses to enforce mandatory condoms, what you’ll see is all adult production leave California.”

After a county health official this week said requiring condoms on porn shoots in Los Angeles County would simply drive them outside L.A., Supervisor Zev Yaroslavsky said let them leave. “I don’t give a damn if they leave L.A. County,” he said. “This is not an industry that we want to protect and enhance.”

I understand real estate in Arizona is still kinda cheap. Maybe Papa Smurf should next press the issue about all the tax money the industry brings into California and LA County since the threat of moving doesn’t appear to have worked. Better yet, try that whole ‘porn going underground’ line of BS. That’ll really scare them.

Belated Birthdays – Jill Kelly [39] 02/01, Ashlee Kahsaklahwee [31] 02/04,

> This Ain’t Star Trek XXX 2 Has Officially Wrapped – Read the hype:

> Hooker Card Exhibit at UNLV’s Grant Hall Gallery – “What a sex worker is in the minds of America is either Pretty Woman or Secret Diary of a Call Girl or a dead body on CSI,” McCubbin said. Read the story here:

> Penthouse Pet Heidi Baron on Howard Stern Show – Read about her visit here:

> Cocktail Waitress’ Lawsuit Alleges Sexual Harassment at Penthouse Executive Club – “repeatedly touch (her) in a sexual manner on her legs and thighs” Read the story here:

> Springfield Strippers Suing Five Clubs for Unfair Wages, Forced Kickbacks, etc. – “The company vigorously denies both the factual allegations and the legal claims…” Read the story here:

> Paula Sladewski’s Boyfriend Trying to Pin It on the Bouncer – “I just don’t think that Paula, on her best day, looked under 21.” Read the story here:

> Topless and Bottomless Bull Riding Leads to Obscenity Charges for Bar Manager – Read the story here:

> Chanel Preston is Poised For Superstardom – DING! DING! DING!…FRESH MEAT!

Read the hype here:

> Dope of the Week Nom: Intelius co-founder in more hot water in strip-club probe; Taken Into Custody – “He twice, in writing, stated, ‘I hope we can catch up soon,’…Read the story here:

> Ex-John Edwards Aide Andrew Young Held In Contempt Over Sex Tape Fight – “These items are to be produced and turned over to the court,” Superior Court Judge Abraham Penn Jones said. Read the story here:

> Jimmy Johnson’s Johnson Needs ExtenZe – They should have picked Howie Long since he is already a big stiff. Read the story here:

> Massive Attack Song Featured in Short Film Paying Homage to Georgina Spelvin – Read the story here:

> Update: FriendFinder Shelves IPO Indefinitely – No, really, Wall Street loves the porn industry. Read the story here:

> Is Roxxxy the Robot Start of Something Bad? – Somebody should short-circuit this robot story. Read it here:

> China Taps “Mom Jury” to Surf for Online Porn – Read the story here:

> Adam & Eve Making an A Team XXX Parody with Open Casting Call February 10 – Read the hype:

> Tiger Woods Finished at Sex Rehab Clinic where Jacking Off Was Prohibited – Read the story here:

> In Addition to The Big Lebowski, New Sensations Announces Harry Potter, Golden Girls, 24 Parodies – Read the death of originality here:

> Charlie Sheen Will be Charged With Felony – Read the story here:

> Myrtle Beach Doesn’t Want Strip Clubs Associated with the City – “I think they’re really rather disgusting,” said Myrtle Beach resident Margo Taylor. Read the story here:

> Update: FriendFinder Cancels the Worlds’ First Web Porn IPO for Lack of Interest – Not a big surprise. Read the story here:

> NFL Condemned by Groups for Having “Sex Offender” Pete Townshend on Halftime Show – The organizations distributed 1,500 leaflets describing Townshend as a sex offender. Read the story here:

> Lincoln Park: Larry Flynt hosts strip club’s grand opening – Read the story here:

> Update: Dutch animal sex ban may mean less bestiality porn on Web – Don’t worry: there are still Mary Carey videos available…if you like watching guys fucking a pig. Read the story here:

> Gets Exponential Growth With Its New 3D Virtual Social Network – Read the hype:

> Update: Mo. Senate backs bill regulating sexually oriented businesses – The legislation would ban strip clubs and adult video stores within 1,000 feet of homes, schools, churches, libraries, parks and day cares. Read the story here:

> Diamond Foxxx’s Raging Rack Is the Focus of Top-Heavy Tale From Zero Tolerance – Read the hype and see her tits here:

> Police raid Sarasota County escort service – Demarco required his employees to sign a “no prostitution” contract…Read the story here:

> FriendFinder IPO delayed Again – This IPO will never see the light of day. Read the story here:

> Adam & Eve Asks “How Often Are YOU Having Sex?” – Read the hype here:

> Rick’s Cabaret International, Inc. Signs Mobile Applications Agreement with On The Go Girls – Read the hype here:

> Won’t Date Porn Producer Because….He’s a Porn Producer – Read the douchebag’s comments here:

> Vivid Postpones Janine Shoot Until After Parole Violation Sentence Has Been Completed – Read the story here:

> After Squeezing Fans for Money, Cytherea Will Be Back Performing – Read the story here:

> New Missouri Bill Would Place Stricter Regs on Strip Clubs and other adult-entertainment venues – “He’s against all these nekkid girls up and down I-70,” he said. Read the story here:

> Hustler Video’s Latest Parody This Ain’t Dancing With the Stars XXX Just Released – Read the hype:

> Monica Mayhem Sexpo billboard pulled down – Read the story here:

> expanding after Successful AEE Show – Read the hype:

> “Roxxxy The ‘groundbreaking sex robot’ is neither groundbreaking nor a true robot” – ‘it’s essentially a next-generation blow-up doll.’ Thank you, Captain Obvious. Read the story here:

> ‘You’re ‘like no other,’ Tiger Woods allegedly tells porn star Joslyn James in sexy text messages – Read the story here:

> Adult DVD Empire Announces Restriction Free VOD – Read the hype:

> Tiger Woods Texting Joslyn James, She Says at a Press Conference – And of course we can all believe Washington state’s most famous child support scofflaw. Read the story here:

> Story of the Day Replay: Convictions upheld in Max Hardcore porn case; Read the Ruling – He has a projected release date of May 29, 2012. Read the story here:

> Update: “The SEC’s ‘porn problem” – Read the story here:

> Pornography involving animals is now illegal in the Netherlands – The Upper House of Parliament finally passed the ban on pornography and obscene acts with animals by 39 votes to 34. Read the story here:

> Bone to Pick with Greater Miami Convention & Visitors Bureau Over Porn – “Seventy full-time employees and you can’t control this garbage?” Read the story here:

> The 2010 Penthouse G-String Awards Celebrate 10Th Year, Feb. 17th to 20th – Read the hype:

> Update: HIV Activists Say County Needs to Do More to Protect Actors – “I don’t give a damn if they leave L.A. County,” said Yaroslavsky. “This is not an industry that we want to protect and enhance.” Read the story here:

> Mann Act Cited in RI Interstate Prostitution Conspiracy Involving “Rah Rah” and “Big Mama” – Read the story here:

> Rod Jetton says strip club bill was doomed because he didn’t like “Pompouse-Arrogant” Senator – Read the story here:

> Soho Strip Club Celebrates 50 Years – Celebrating its 50th anniversary by welcoming back dancers who have worked there over the years. Read the story here:

> Joslyn James Protests Tiger Woods’ Balls – ‘claiming his little round guys are encouraging violence towards women’ Read the story here:

> Gay porn actors show up to promote Fort Lauderdale ‘family fun’ event with Connie Francis – “I can’t hurt their feelings … Everybody’s gotta earn a living.” She was a hot piece of ass…50 years ago. Read the story here:

> Adult Source Media Signs Deal with Scala for European Distribution – Read the hype:

> NY Post Interviews America’s First Prosti-Dude, Markus – “I’ve healed people,” he says of his lovemaking ability, which most recently included his first client…Read the story here:

> Sin City Seeks New Sales Manager – Read the hype here:

> 11th Circuit in Max Hardcore Appeals Case – And the lawyers get rich. Read the story here:

> Movie Gallery Files for Bankruptcy Court Protection for the Second Time – Read the story here:

> Court Readies for Trial in Zoey Zane’s Death – Mireles is charged with capital murder, rape and aggravated criminal sodomy…Read the story here:

> Zev Yaroslavsky Threatens To Banish Porn Industry Over Condoms; “Let Them Leave” – “This is not an industry that we want to protect and enhance.” Can you feel the love? Read the story here:

> Ron Jeremy Squares Off with Susan Cole in Debate – Read the story here:

> L.A. County can’t require condoms for porn actors, officials say – “All you need is a room and a camera and a bed, basically, to do this kind of shoot, and we have no ability to police this.” Read the story here:

> Strip club bids to end sleaze image – “We feel we should be able to get involved in the community and help without offending anyone,” she said. Good luck with that. Read the story here:

> Newest Vivid Girl, Lia, Named February Girl Of The Month – Read the hype:

> Wicked And Britain’s JoyBear Pictures Unite To Bring You “A Kinder, Gentler Pornography” – Read the hype:

> Offers 100% Revshare to New Affiliates in February – Read the hype:

> U.S. Bears Burden of Proving 2257’s Constitutionality, FSC Says – Read the hype here:

> Williamsburg Sex Shop Making Replicas of Customers’ Penises – Happy Valentine, Sugar. Read the story here:

> Mo. Senate sponsor of bill targeting adult entertainment industry appears before grand jury – That $35k donation: just a coincidence. Read the story here:

> Sketch released of man seen with Paula Sladewski – He said detectives are getting tips and actively working leads in the case. Read the story here:

> Las Vegas Porn Website Company In the Middle of “The Situation” Trademark Quest – Read the story here:

> Angelina Valentine announces charity drive to combat Animal Cruelty – Read the hype and see her tits here:

> S&M “master” accused of asking 15 Year-Old girl to be sex slave – The 57-year-old Bennett acknowledges he “groped” the girl…Read the story here:

> Two Dozen SEC Workers Investigated for Porn-Surfing – “They’re getting paid to do something that they’re not supposed to be doing.” Read the story here:

> Mardi Gras Parties Hosted by Julia Bond, Kelly Shibari in Vegas – Read the hype:

> Update: Hearing – Janine Limited to Phone Calls with Daughter; Has Already Missed 4 Scheduled Visits – Read the story here:

> Reward For Paula Sladewski’s Killer Increases To $15,000 – “We certainly hope that anyone who knows anything about the case comes forward…” Read the story here:

> New Mass. senator Scott Brown says nude Cosmo photos helped get him where he is today – Read the story here:

> “Gigantic amounts of money” Offered for John Edwards Sex Tape – Once again the mainstream press falls for the BS. Read the story here:

> Hungarian S&M Movie Ends in Arrests; Woman Calls out “Safe Word” But is Beaten Bloody – “It’s all fun until someone gets hurt. And arrested”. Read the story here:

> Howard Levine Launches Blog On – Read the hype and be bored to death here:

> Adult Source Media’s Pirate’s Booty: Is Gay CGI Porn a Viable Niche Industry? Or Destined to Fail? – “As someone who shoots live-action porn, I know how much of a struggle it is to get good penetration shots without shoving a light up someone’s ass…Read the story here:

> “The Jersey Shore XXX GT XXXTreme Contest” – Read the hype:

> Hearing: Janine Limited to Phone Calls with Daughter; Visits Barred – Read the story here:

> After the Sparks, Very Intimate Pleasures is Open for Business – “I’m not really happy about it, but it is what it is,”…Read the story here:

> Racist Porn is Raking In Huge Bucks –Read the story here:

> CNN Checks Out Roxxxy The Robot; At $7G’s a Pop, 4,000 Guys Have Placed Pre-Orders – His customer base? Shy, awkward or older men who “have trouble meeting girls,” he says. Read the story here:

> Adella Starts Own Marketing Communications Company – Read the hype and see a photo of Uncle Gene getting blasted here:

> Shauna Sand Will Join Vivid Girls for the Ultimate Party at Tootsie’s Cabaret, February 5th – Tickets to the Vivid/Tootsie’s Cabaret party cost $300… Save your money and jackoff in your hotel room. Read the hype here:

> Nice ‘N Naughty owner keeps it fun – “Love and romance should be celebrated every day,” store owner Carole Jourdan. Read the story here:

> Better Than the First? Not the Cosbys XXX Sequel in Stores Feb 9th; See the Preview – Read the hype:

> Sex Toy of the Year is Lelo NEA – Read the hype:

> Dirty Dancing Teach Under Investigation – “How can you trust the judgment of a principal who would throw an alcohol bash at a senior prom?” Read the story here:

Alcohol and no farm animals: What the hell kind of prom is that?

> Adultmart: Mansfield, Ohio May Boost Regs for Adult Businesses – “Did it slip by us? Absolutely. But we are going to try to rectify it… Read the story here:

> More On Porn’s Pursuit of 3D- Not Ready for the Closeup Mr. DeMille? – “Consumers aren’t so wild about having to wear special glasses to view porn although some…” Read the story here:

> Porn Biz Jumps on 3D Band Wagon — Company Launches 3D Library, Director Creating 3D Film – Read the story here:

> Are We Over Porn Stars? Fantasies More Believable with Less Than Perfect Girls – “Men like to believe it’s more real, that the women aren’t just doing it for a paycheck.” Read the story here:

> Adult Entertainment Industry Crafts Safety Guidelines – Companies signing on to the guidelines would…Read the story here:

Cal-OSHA isn’t going to buy this at all.

> Steve Hirsch “Protecting” Shaquille O’Neal? – Hirsch claims just his love of Shaq and the Cleveland Cavs are what motivated him…Read the story here:

I understand Papa Smurf is the Shaquille O’Neal of his 5’ 6” and under league.

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