Sean Looks at the Week of 1/3/2010 in Review; Sasha “Einstein” will Save the Biz with “Tonality”

Sean from writes: You want straight, no nonsense journalism, you stick with Adultfyi….now on Facebook.

Tiny Tim Lame-O Award goes to Steve Hirsch. It appears TMZ finally gets a story right. Papa Smurf contacted TMZ and reported that a woman approached Vivid and claimed she had a sex video of Tiger Woods. She said it was shot approximately two years ago. Papa Smurf told TMZ his people have seen 30 seconds of the video but is not confirming it’s Tiger on tape – Inspector Clouseau says he’s still trying to ID the players.

TMZ cuts Papa Smurf off at the knees by reporting that Tiger’s lawyers have already put out a threatening letter, stating they will go after anyone who tries to publish nude photos or videos of Tiger Woods. Also, there is no way such a video could be legally released without Tiger’s John Hancock. Sure, Papa Smurf gets a little media attention, but finally it appears someone in the mainstream press is catching on to all these cheap media stunts and is treating these stories as what they are: pretty lame.

The Tera Patrick Book of the Month award goes to Tiger bimbo, Loredana Jolie Ferriolo. This bimbo is looking for a big payday and in doing so to generate interest in a book deal, she claims she saw Tiger having sexual relationships with other men. She wants at least $1 million for her tell-all book deal in which she says she’ll also reveal Tiger’s “healthy appetite for arranged sex, threesomes, girls next door, girl-girl, and an answer to all the rumors surrounding Woods’ sexuality.” Well, I think the world already knows about Tiger’s affinity for the ladies: no news there. And for Tiger’s sexual relationships with men: I suspect liability issues just may come into play leaving legitimate publishers just a little nervous when considering buying the rights to her book.

The Douche Bag Award goes to Heidi Fleiss and Dennis Hof. It was reported that one of Heidi Fleiss’ brothers was killed in a swimming accident over the New Year. Unfortunately for him, his death coincided with Heidi’s appearance on the TV show “Celebrity Big Brother.”

The story goes on to say: The Hollywood madam considered pulling out of her commitment after the tragedy. But she was persuaded to go ahead with the C4 reality show by long-term love Dennis Hof. Hof, owner of the Moonlite Bunny Ranch brothel in Nevada, said: “Heidi was so devastated she almost pulled out of Celebrity Big Brother. “She said, ‘I loved Jason. I don’t want to be disrespectful to him.’ I told her she needed to get away and stay busy so she does not have time to dwell on this awful thing.”

I can’t figure out who the bigger douche bag is: D-list celebrity Heidi Fleiss or Hof for talking her out of attending her brother’s FUNERAL just so she can get some cheap exposure. These two douche bags were made for each other.

The Creep of the Week winner is James Treanor. Police found 75 movies and more than 5,000 digital images of a child “clearly under the age of 12” engaged in sexual acts or in sexual poses on Jimmy’s computer. When asked, Jimmy explained to police his interest in child pornography as a “fantasy” and a remedy for boredom. Yeah, I bet it gets real boring for Jimmy working in food-service at Walt Disney World! I can only hope Jimmy’s cellmate has a “fantasy” about Jimmy’s asshole and remedies his boredom. What a creep.

This week’s winner of the Norman Einstein Award is Sasha Grey. “If we make adult films with perhaps a real score and great camera work, we can make adult films that are more entertaining, more erotic and more acceptable — especially for the female consumer.” The self-described film buff said,

“The key element missing in films is tonality.” Einstein has solved all your problems with that statement. The key to turning around the industry is ‘tonality.’ My God, why didn’t anyone see this before? Einstein may have just saved this industry. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, the key to making really great porn, according to Sasha Grey, is by adding MUSIC to it. How novel. Thanks for that insight, Einstein; now get back to sucking cock.

Belated Birthdays – Nikki Nova [01/05]

> From AEE: here’s the Sasha Grey PETA Ad – Read the story here:

> Our Favorite Story of the Year: The Great Tanner Mayes Flip Out – “Anyone who’s done that knows what chafing mean,” states Mayes. Of course. We’ve all been there and know what it’s like to pee ourselves. Read the story here:

> From AEE: Robot girlfriend To Be unwrapped; She’s Programmed Not to Have a Headache – …being marketed by with a price tag between $500,000 and $1 million. Cheaper than what Tiger is going to have to pay. Read the stories here:

> From AEE: Ali Joone- From Disney Land to porn director – Read the interview here:

> Gay-porn filmmaker Marc Schaffel sues Fox News over Jackson interview – Those damn copyrights. Read the story here:

> From AEE: Ron Jeremy Talks Porn in Debate – ‘Jeremy kicked off his opening remarks by referring to pornography as entertainment, not unlike football games.’ I don’t recall ever jacking off to a football game, but being a Bears fan I have observed jackoffs playing the game this year, however. Read the story here:

> From AEE: Even Porn Stars Get the Recession Blues– Thinner Crowds – Read what you already know here:

> From AEE: Porn expo groupies discover perfect spot for ogling the ‘talent’ – Expo groupies? So that’s what they’re calling stalkers now. Read the story here:

> Update: FriendFinders sets IPO terms, cuts deal size – Get in and get out while suckers still think there is money in porn. Read the details here:

> From AEE: Remember “Dick in a Box”? [Remember Dick in the Popcorn?] – Read the hype:

> From AEE: Pink technology put porn viewers into virtual action – Read the hype here:

> FriendFinder announces IPO terms – 20 million shares at a price range of $10-$12. Read the story here:

> Year in Review Continues: Kenny Gallo Details His Life in Porn; Hedge Funds Call Milton Ault III a Swindler –

> From AEE: Christian Audigier Designing Condoms – ‘made from trees in Malaysia’… Well, that isn’t very green now is it? Read the hype here:

> From AEE: Keynote Speaker Sasha Grey Interviewed …Read what this twerp has to say here:

> From AEE: High-Tech Sex? Porn Flirts With the Cutting Edge- 3D for Only $4,000 – Read the hype here:

> From AEE: Bree Olson Cuts the Ribbon; We Cut the Cheese – Read the hype here:

> Was He Going to Pimp Paula to the Biz? Suitcase Pimp Locked Paula in a Garage, Broke Her Nose – Read Captain Save-A-Ho’s story here:

> Boyzone Social Network Launches TV and Radio – Read the fag hype here:

> From AEE: Tera Patrick Says Her Book Has Been Doing Amazingly Well – “We’ve been very successful in our sales, which is what we hoped for.” Read the story here:

> Evil Angel Didn’t Learn the Lessons of Rob Black? – ‘but throw in the fact that the nun is white and has a big black cock thrown in her face’ Read the editorial from here:

> From AEE: Book worm/porn star: Q&A with Kayden Kross – Is it a good time to buy real estate? Read it here:

> From AEE: Open wide! A dentist makes oral sex a little safer with The Blowguard – That is if you’re getting a blowjob for a Piranha. Read the hype here:

> Jenna Jameson: Tera Patrick is Big, Loose and Jiggly – “He looked like a douchebag and followed her around like a puppy,” Seinfeld goes on to say. Read Gene’s book review anecdote here:

> Former Playboy Mansion Party Planner Sues Hugh Hefner For Unfair Dismissal, Gender Discrimination – Read the story here:

> From AEE: Pink Visual thinks outside the box- By Not Taking a Booth on the Floor – Read what these hilarious dickheads are up to here:

> From AEE: Mustang Ranch rides into porn production – Hookers making sex films: that’s new. Read the story here:

> From AEE: Las Vegas’ Raven Alexis moving up in adult industry – Read the hype:

> GoFuckTalk Thread: Vivid Raided by Cal-OSHA? – Appears Donny Long may have found the spell check button. I’m impressed: his post, however, not so much. Read the post here:

> From AEE: Kirsten Price reveals a few behind-the-scenes secrets – Read the hype:

> Charlie Sheen’s Wife Was In Rehab For Crack Addiction – “She had a serious problem.” Read the story here:

> From AEE: Belladonna of the ball, “The Dirtiest Girl in Porn” – Well, maybe if she’d shower once in a while…Read the story here:

> From AEE: Sasha Grey Gets Naked for PETA Ad – She’s choked many a cock in her day. Read the hype here:

> AEE Half the Size as Last Year ? [and Last Year by Reports was 50% Smaller than the Year Before] – “These girls have bills to pay, they have to work, They will take whatever you can get them.” Read South’s post here:

> Tera Patrick Talks About Her “Raw Deal” DP Contract and Being Plastered for Playboy’s Night Calls 411 – “I blindly signed on the dotted line,” states Patrick…Read Gene’s review here:

> Mother Of Slain Model Paula Sladewski Speaks Out – “This is a brutal, horrible crime,” said Lt. Neal Cuevas. Read the story here:

> From AEE: Finally, a CES to AEE product crossover – Seller of 3 in 1 oil? Read the story here:

> Year in Review Continues- Stormy Arrested in Domestic Beef; Man Posed as Ed Powers to Solicit Girls –

> From AEE: Sheri’s Cabaret cites economy in bankruptcy filing – I guess ‘skimming off the top’ wouldn’t look too nice on the bankruptcy form.

> Tera Patrick: Fight with Digital Playground Sent Her Over the Edge and the Brink of Suicide – Better luck next time. Read Gene’s book review here:

> Sladewski Suspect Says He’ll Take a Lie Detector – Read the story here:

> What Did I Tell Ya? Cops Name Boyfriend as “Person of Interest” In Playboy Model Murder – Read the story here:

> Tera Patrick: Sam at Digital Playground Copped Her Cellphone and That was The Beginning of the End – Read the story here:

> Year in Review Continues; James Mitchell in Baseball Bat Murder; LA Judge Rejects Condom Petition –

> Tera Patrick on the Cover of Strip Las Vegas Magazine – Read the hype:

> Miami police seek clues in slaying of Southern California “Playboy model” found burned in trash bin – Police have named the boyfriend…Read the story here:

> Tiger Mistress Loredana Jolie Had Nervous Breakdown after Michelle Braun Revelations – She wants to be another Captain Save-A-Ho. Read the story here:

> Rock Star PRM Acquires The Star Factory in Industry P.R. Merger – Read the hype:

> Tiger Woods Mistress Will Claim He Had Gay Romps In Tell-All Book – Read about a book that will never be published here:

> Seven Questions: Tera Patrick- “I’m Not a Bitch” – Conceded? Maybe. Read the interview here:

> From the AEE: A Chat with AVN Awards Show Co host Dave Attell – Read the story here:

> From the AEE: Porn to Drive Adoption of 3D Consumer Hardware – Read the hype:

> After ‘Golden Globes’ Stars Align for Will Ryder & AVN Awards – Read the hype:

> Year in Review Continues: Rob Black, Lizzie Borden Get a Year and a Day; Kayden Kross Gets a Day –

> The Bottom Line: Sean Michaels to Direct for Buttman Magazine Choice and Evil Angel – Read the hype:

> Modeling Agency Scams Increase As Economy Worsens – “It’s hard enough to break into the talent business without wasting your time…” Read the story here:

> Year in Review Continues; Ray Pistol’s Talk of the Town Featured Prominently in The Hangover –

> skinworXXX Star Eva Angelina Caps an Impressive Comeback Year – Read the hype and see her luscious pussy here:

> Report: “Every second $3,075.64 is being spent on pornography” – Another Shelley Lubben type blowing figures out her ass. Read the story here:

> Diamond Foxxx Will Be Subject of Reality Show Being Shot at the AEE Show – Read the hype and see her tits here:

> Article Says Digital Playground Kicked Rio Valentine to the Curb – plays Capt. Save-A-Hoe. Read the story here:

> “Jersey Shore” Stars Snooki And Ronnie Admit To Video Taping Past Hookups; Vivid Says Worth $$$$$ – “I don’t want people to watch me doing that,” Snooki said during the photo shoot. Read the story here:

> Smash Pictures Snatches Jim Powers to Direct Friends & Family Feature Movie – Read the hype:

> Shady Lady Ranch can be stud farm, officials say, but health concerns linger – Davis said the small bordello could have its first stud on staff in as little as two weeks. Read the story here:

> Year in Review Continues: Porn Girls Win Domain Beefs; Strippers Sue Over Independent Contractor Issue –

> At the AEE This Week: Will a New Gadget for Men Make Women Obsolete? – If it cooks and cleans then we’ll talk. Read the hype:

> Cindy Margolis Orders Sperm Samples From Contestants in New Fox Reality Dating Show – I recommend she doesn’t swallow. Read the story here:

> Tootsie’s Cabaret Teams up with Vivid to Throw the Ultimate Party Feb. 5th During Super Bowl Week – $300 a ticket…that must be the industry ticket rip-off number.

> Rebecca Blue is the Latest Addition to the Rising Star PR Roster – *DING* DING* DING*…FRESH MEAT! Read the hype:

> Schevelle’s AVN Adult Entertainment Expo Schedule/Signings – Read the hype:

> Grand Vizier: Cabaret Productions Has Arab Investors? – This story is so fishy you’ll need tar-tar sauce in order to read it.

> Year in Review Continues: AIM Reports HIV Case as “Not a Major Event”; Gay Porn Stars Wed –

> Kagney Linn Karter is Zero Tolerance’s New Contract Star – Read the hype and see her tits here:

>Porn Legend Ed Powers returns with a bang – Or maybe it’s just gas. Whatever, read the hype here:

> Java Divas: Sex Appeal Sells Coffee In Pasadena, Maryland – Another T &A coffee shop. Read the story here:

> Pink Tender Publicity Launches – Pretty soon there will be more publicists than porn stars. Read the hype here:

> Blind Man Killed During Party With Call Girl – Hicks was arrested on Dec. 31 outside a Lawrence mobile home park. Read the story here:

> DirecTV to Launch 1st 3D-HDTV Channel – Read the hype:

> Amia Miley Caps an Impressive First Year by Signing at Adam & Eve’s Booth at AEE – Read the hype:

> Alexis Ford Picked to Be AVN Awards’ Trophy Girl – Read the hype:

> Year in Review Continues- Another Gay Performer Sentenced to Life for Murder; Dick Nasty Procurer? –

> Roaches, Rats, Then Arson Used in Atlanta Strip Club Feud – Read the story here:

> Ron Jeremy, Debating at AEE, Urges Parents to Protect Children from Online Porn – The traveling road show lands in Vegas. Read the hype:

> The Features Pro-Porn Piece – Read the story here:

> Heidi Fleiss Should Be Ecstatic- Nevada Legalizes Male Prostitution – Bone smokers wanted. Read the story here:

> Year in Review Continues: Michelle Braun Goes to Court; McKenzie Lee One of Her Girls Says Gov’t Docs –

> Tera Patrick, ‘Sinner Takes All: A Memoir of Love and Porn’; Fight with DP Put Her in a Mental Ward – Just as Patrick decries all the “porn chicks” with daddy issues, she herself has her own baggage…Read the review here:

> Hustler: The latest stop for porn star wife of former Fort Myers Beach manager – Did it to help pay the bills. Read the story here:

> Tiger Woods Sex Tape Shopped to Vivid – Not a chance. Read the story here:

> Vegas: X-Play’s Friday Night Porn Parody Party Promises Fun as Clips4Sale Joins the Action – Read the hype:

> Year in Review Continues: Stern Takes Pot Shots at Sasha Grey; More Craziness from Shawna Lenee –

> AFYI Continues the Year in Review – Playboy Gets in Trouble with the NYSE; Cytherea Grovels for Cash –

> Plastic Surgery Website Evaluates Holly Sampson- Most “Plasticizied” of the Tiger Women – While Holly is certainly pretty, she likely owes much of her appearance to surgeon skilled in facial plastic surgery. Read the story here:

> skinworXXX’s Deviance Named CAVR’s ‘Adult Movie of the Year’ – Read the hype:

> Another Disney World Worker Caught- This Creep Faces 200 Kiddie Porn Charges – M-I-C: See you in prison…K-E-Y: because you’re a kiddie porn creep. Read the story here:

> Vanity Fair Cover Another Tiger P.R. Miscue? Or a Clevery Designed Stunt – Kinda makes him look like a dork. Read the story here:

> AdultFYI Continues The Year in Review- BBW Has Hard Luck Story of the Year; It’s Truly Unbelievable –

> Dexxxter: Yes Another Porn Parody – Read the hype here:

> Year in Review Continues; AVN Lawsuit Vs. XBiz Alleges Conspiracy and Sabotage; Rosenblatt Returns –

> AFYI Continues Year in Review- BusinessPress Continued to Hound Francis Koenig With Fraud Charges –

> Adult film industry is hoping its trade show can help kick-start business for 2010 – Wishful thinking by the jackoffs selling booths. Read the story here:

> The Year in Review Continued: GayVN’s Honor an Underage Performer, and Michael Lucas Goes Nuts –

> Sgt. Schultz Writes: Jefferson XXX Porn Parody a Piece of Scheisse – Holy fuck that thing was horrible they didn’t even spend the money… Read the story here:

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