Sean writes – We don’t make the news, we just exploit it.
The Sarah Palin, Marie Antoinette, Michele Bachmann, Rick Santorum, Glenn Beck, Rush Limbaugh Right-Wing Nutjob Ass Clown award goes to former knob gobbler and current supporter of deep-thinker Republican Presidential Candidate Mitt Romney, Jenna Jameson.
Thursday Jameson announced that she endorses fellow Mensa member, Republican Mitt Romney, for President of the United States.
“I’m very looking forward to a Republican being back in office,” Jameson said while sipping champagne in a VIP room at Gold Club in the city’s South of Market neighborhood. “When you’re rich, you want a Republican in office.”
The Mitt Romney endorsement appears to be a departure from previous political leanings displayed by Jameson. According to published reports, Jenna was a Hillary Clinton supporter back in 2008.
What is perplexing to me is that Jameson implies that she’s too rich.
Maserati Financial Services is going after Jameson with a $107K lawsuit claiming that she’s currently driving around in a stolen Maserati Quattroporte S which she began leasing in 2010 for $2,299 a month but stopped making payments on in January. Hmmmm
And if she’s so rich, why has she started making these five and dime personal appearances hocking her 8 year old book, How to Make Love Like a Porn Star: A Cautionary Tale?
The Fatty Arbuckle award goes to Dennis Hopper’s 21-year-old son, Henry Hopper.
Henry, who starred in Gus Van Zant’s “Restless” in 2011 — is being sued by the mother of an unidentified 16-year-old girl … who claims the girl met Hopper through a mutual friend in Feb. 2011.
According to the legal papers, the girl — identified in the lawsuit as Jan Doe — claims the two began to communicate on Facebook … and in the months that followed, Hopper invited her to his home in Venice, CA on multiple occasions with the promise of drugs and alcohol.
In the suit, Doe claims Hopper would wait until she was intoxicated … and “engaged in sexually offensive conduct with her” … including sexual intercourse, forced oral copulation and sodomy.
The New York Police Department’s Golden Baton award goes to the Jack Booted Thugs of the Beirut Lebanon Police Department.
According to reports coming out of Lebanon, this weekend a bunch of cops raided a gay-porn theater and arrested 36 men. Shockingly, homosexuality is illegal in Lebanon and anyplace within shouting distance of Donny Long.
The arrestees were reportedly subjected to anal probing to determine whether or not they were gay. Exactly what is being “tested” in this situation is a bunch of junk science (the diameter of the rectum and whatnot, ugh), but the results can be used to convict victims and send them to prison.
The Seka Mathematical Institute award goes to Miami wide receiver, Chad Johnson.
During a press gang-bang this week, Chad was asked what he’d be doing if he wasn’t playing football. His reply: “I was thinking about going into porn,” Johnson said, which drew laughter from the reporters in attendance.
“It’s not funny,” he followed up with a straight face. “I got to earn a living. I mean I’m serious; that’s what I would do. I don’t have a choice.”
It would appear that Chad is under the delusion that performing in porn is still profitable in this economic climate.
The Revisionist History award goes to former CEO of Playboy, Christie Hefner.
She wrote on BusinessWeek.com: ‘When I took over as chairman and CEO in 1988, the company was in too many businesses. They had a modeling agency, movie theaters, limousines, hotels, and clubs. Literally, there were Playboy air fresheners.
The hardest thing was convincing Hef to close the clubs. Our idea was to draw on the heritage of the magazine and the good life, and make it hip and relevant. The new generation of young women, it turned out, thought the rabbit head was cool.’
Yes, Christie does have quite a fondness for herself. She left Playboy in such good shape the company now survives by the skin of its teeth by downsizing and consolidating its corporate offices and making licensing deals with Manwin that oversees Playboy’s online and television operations.
Oh, and who could forget the purchase of Club Jenna? Anyone who knows the slightest thing about the way things run in the adult entertainment world knows Playboy got snookered and played for a sap when Jenna Jameson’s ex husband Jay Grdina saw them fall off the turnip truck. Rumors fly about exactly how much Playboy forked over for that little fuck up.
The Century 21 award goes to Octomom.
Sadly, in her short stint in the adult industry, Octomom has realized that one cannot make a living by appearing in one porn flick and making personal appearances at seedy strip clubs.
However, always the go-getter, Octo has taken a page out of the book of other downtrodden porn performers by asking her fans to donate money to her favorite cause: herself.
Octo is begging her fans for $150,000 so she can put a down payment on a new house. Sources [her agent] told TMZ she’s been given two weeks to move out, but the problem is she doesn’t have enough cash to buy a house of her own … especially one that can fit her giant brood.
Octo’s solution … set up a page on a website called GoFundMe.com, where her fans can send her money through the internet! All she’s asking for is a cool $150k to get started.
It’s been only a week, but as I write this, she has raised a whopping $2369.
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