Sean’s Random Thoughts for the Week of September 23, 2013 – Tellin’ It Like It Is

If you don’t like it, learn to love it!

* Chalk one up for the pro-condom crusade in the porn industry: Jenna Jameson supports condoms in adult flicks. Watch the clip

* Quote of the Week – “Awards are like hemorrhoids. Eventually every asshole gets one.”

Good luck to all those nominated for the various industry awards.

* To Heidi Hollywood: We don’t make the news, we just exploit it. Know the difference between reporting and editorializing. When you realize the two are very different you’ll stop coming across as an ass-clown on Twitter.

* Another week and yet another Mother of the Year story from Farrah Abraham.

This week she revealed that she and her 4-year-old daughter have a mommy and me therapy sessions once a month.

“I just make sure that her world is not really affected by her mom being a businesswoman who likes to travel a lot,” Farrah said.

“Every time I leave, it gets harder on Sophia because she wants to come with me,” Farrah admits to Ok! Magazine.

What I found amusing about this sad story was the feedback this story received from the general public. To say public opinion was one-sided would be an understand and below are just a few of those comments.

‘NJJuls’ writes – “I guess she imagines herself a businesswoman. The problem with that is, most people don’t see it the way she imagines it. They just see her as the porn pig, she actually is.”

‘Ewesocrazy’ writes – Business woman…prostitute, same thing.

‘Alliekat9090’ writes – “I’m so relieved to read this. I’m sure these therapy sessions will fix everything. The therapist can help the little one understand and accept that her mother is a filthy tramp.”

And ‘Zena135’ writes – “Watch her on Teen Mom and you’ll see first-hand why she is shunned and disliked. She’s a spoilt, disrespectful, self-absorbed, spiteful brat with entitlement issues and a sick perverse determination to emotionally blackmail her family and uses her daughter as a bargaining chip to get what she wants. She’s fake and mentally unfit to look after herself, let alone her own child. Her family is equally as dysfunctional and sick and are enablers that support her vile behavior in order to maintain a relationship with their granddaughter, who they adore but Farrah not so much.”

Those are your fans talking ladies and gentlemen. And you’re in the porn industry for the public admiration and acclaim?

* Predicting NFL games are about as difficult to do as trying to comprehend a Diane Duke press release but I rebounded nicely in Week 3 by posting an impressive 12-4 record [Your Welcome]. As we enter Week 4 my overall record is a solid 33 -15 [Hey, if you don’t pat yourself on the back nobody else is going to do it.]

As for the Thursday night game I predicted the 49ers to win. No, really, I did. Come on, you can trust me…after all; you can trust everyone in the porn industry.

Ravens over Bills – This game is looking like a cake walk for the Ravens with the Bills having problems on the offensive line and a weak secondary but something is missing from the Ravens [Ray Lewis?] thus the Buffalo will keep it close nonetheless.

Buccaneers over Cardinals – This is the first of two Week 4 Suck Bowls. These two train wrecks come in to this game with a combined 1 – 5 record….good tickets are still available. The Bucs are playing at home; what the hell.

Steelers over Vikings – The second Suck Bowl will be played in jolly old England as Europe gets the pleasure of watching two winless teams battle for nothing but pride.

Chiefs over Giants – Eli Manning is still picking dirt out of his ears after getting sacked in Carolina last week like 50 times. Expect more of the same this week as the Chieftains and Andy ‘Big Red’ Reid continue their unbeaten streak.

Colts over Jaguars – The toughest prediction here is whether Colts’ quarterback Andrew Luck will pass for 5 or 6 TD passes.

Seattle over Texans – This could be the game of the week. Seattle struggles on the road but Houston QB Matt Schaub has struggled early.

Bengals over Browns – Cleveland showed some life last week by upsetting [?] the Vikings in Minnesota [so much for my lock of the week]. The Bengals pulled a win out of their ass last week with a home win over the Packers. They’ll do the same this week.

Bear over Lions – Lions’ defensive tackle Ndamukong Suh is a criminal element and should be banned from the fucking league. That being said, I wish he was playing for my team. If Jay Cutler doesn’t get killed the Bears should win on a late field goal.

Titans over Jets – This game could end in a zero-zero tie. Oh, but never fret, the Jets will find a way to screw the pooch in the end.

Redskins over Raiders – Come to think of it, this is the third Suck Bowl of the week as these two once proud franchises enter the game with a combined 1-5 record. As I write this Raiders QB Terrelle Pryor may not play after suffering a concussion….which really will not matter since RG3 will light up the Raiders’ defense and get Washington their first victory of the season.

Broncos over Eagles – The Eagles are facing four problems going into this game: #1 their offense sucks…#2 their defense sucks…#3 their special teams suck…and #4 they face a blistering hot Denver passing attack. Other than that, Mrs. Lincoln, how was the play?

Cowboys over Chargers – The only reason I’m taking Dallas is that I dislike Tony Romo less than I do Philip Rivers.

Falcons over Patriots – It appears that Bibi Jones’ favorite player, Rob Gronkowski, may play this week after missing the first 3 games. His possible return will do little to help his team pull out a victory.

Saints over Dolphins – Drew Brees has been playing great this year and with Miami going to miss Cameron Wake on defense the Saints will win this game rather easily.

Carolina and Green Bay are off this week.

* Earlier this week I received a call from Gene Ross. Gene informed me that Rob Black was talking about yours truly during his show. I guess Black wanted to make sure I was watching Friday so I would write about all the new show features he was adding.

I’m glad Gene called me because I’ll be honest, I haven’t watched Black’s show in over a month. [The two-hour time difference in the Midwest puts it at the height of my mid-afternoon slum lord business activities, you know.] So I rely on Gene’s daily recap of Black’s show to keep me up to speed.

Speaking of which…so at my desk I sat at high noon [Pacific Time] waiting to be mesmerized by Rob Black’s new show incarnation. And I continued to sit as the minutes clicked by…tick…tick…tick… I felt like some teenage girl waiting for a Rihanna concert to commence.

Here’s what developed.

For the first 10 minutes of the show I heard music blaring as I tried to figure out what was wrong with Black’s camera, either that or my computer. For all I could see was this white screen. Then finally it became clear: the white screen was actually the back of a door that was open, thus blocking the camera’s view of the room.

Still no show.

At 12:20 a video clip, which I could then see because Black closed the fucking door, started to play. It was an interesting clip showing some third-rate English speaking Adolf Hitler knockoff from a B-movie giving a speech about who knows what because I was distracted trying to figure out why I could only see this clown from the lips down since only half the screen was on camera.

Finally, at 12:35, the main attraction, Rob Black emerged explaining that he was having a lot of technical issues with the new production of his show. He went on about spending 17 hours working on these snafus. It was obvious, at least from my standpoint, more time was needed to work out said snafus.

I’ll give Black some credit in that it appears the picture quality of his show is way better… or maybe the lighting was improved from the last time I watched. But I couldn’t help thinking, if I’m going to spend my valuable lunch hour [some people are at work, mind you] I don’t want to spend it watching Charlie Chaplin [or, whoever] playing Hitler.

Black then proceeded with the show by reading stories and headlines posted on this website. It was kinda fun following along with him in an interactive kind of way, and he’s good at that.

Yet, as the show continued, I found myself searching for a pencil I could ram into my neck.

I’m no Barry Diller, but if I could suggest to Black a couple of things that would improve his presentation.

1. [I’ve said this before] Start the damn show on time- high noon. A lot of Black’s listeners only have an hour and it’s back to work for them. [Unless he’s playing to an east coast audience, which doesn’t make sense, because his is mainly the porn audience on the West Coast. At least that’s what I assume.] While I appreciate a good Who concert as much as the next guy, but I could go on YouTube for that.

2. Be prepared for the show; you can’t do show prep during the show.

3. Since information is paramount, instead of broadcasting 3-hours during the day and another 2 hours at night maybe cut the shows down to an hour each. This industry isn’t that interesting any more to dedicate 5 hours to it each day.

4. Be concise and to the point [see #2]. If I want to experience three hour filibusters I’ll attend congressional hearings. With an hour show you’ll have plenty of time to make your various points for the day.

5. Hint: 10 minute monolog….two 20 minute features….10 minute wrap-up in which you can promote why people should join the UAWA. There is your hour show. You can thank me later.

* And speaking of the UAWA [United Adult Workers of America], I visited its web site for any new features and updates since it was launched a few months ago. I couldn’t find any.

The UAWA’s mission statement reads in part: “The mission and purpose of this organization is to educate and organize workers so that they will attain a higher standard of living.”

On the UAWA’s website the only contact information are email addresses for Rob Black [General President] and the email address of its Executive Board that consists of, well, Tom Byron.

There’s more information available on to sign up to be a webcam girl than there’s information on how to join the UAWA on its website.

Gene posted a story with the headline ‘The UAWA Is Set To Go; No More Rite Aid Tests Which You’re Paying $140 a Month For’ on September 4, 2013.

From that article I gathered:

“The UAWA will be set up with an office and will prepare to get the talent fully tested as a UAWA member,” according to Black.

“We have the testing. We will now set it in place with the administrative part of the UAWA, and in a matter of weeks the UAWA will be launched, will be operational and we will be part of the business,” Black added.

“The UAWA has been formed. The road map is now clear. I told everyone I had to get the testing- that was the main goal. After that, everything is doable,” Black said.

“In the next couple of weeks I’ll have the structure laid out,” Black also said.

“This movement is going to be bigger than this industry has ever seen,” he predicted.

“The UAWA is going to be the new ruling body. You destroyed this business, now it has to be rebuilt,” Black duly noted.

The UAWA was launched July 11, 2013 and since then the only thing I can see that it has done is inform the talent that they can get free STD tests at the county health department.

I’ve heard rumors of big money backers supporting the UAWA: Influential people from Sacramento to Los Angeles tossing their support behind the UAWA: Big shot attorneys talking about RICO violations: yet I’ve heard nothing more nor have I seen any real results.

I’m getting like that teenager waiting for the Rihanna concert….antsy…I want to join up. Give me a phone number. I want to walk into a building and find an office with a sexy chick behind the desk. More importantly I want to see Diane Duke and Christian Mann leave town as promised. I’m growing impatient.


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