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The Free Speech Coalition just re-newed the lease on Diane Duke. If you’re not crazy about this particular model, tough. You’re stuck with it for another three years.

Ever drive a car you didn’t like, knowing you couldn’t unload it? That’s basically the situation with Duke. By the way, if you didn’t hear the news, Duke was just named Czarina of the Adult industry.

No one, I believe, consulted talent on this vital issue, because it’s the FSC board who makes day-to-day life altering declarations involving performers. It’s similar to the children should be seen and not heard principle. USSR’s Politburo operated quite similarly.

In selling this used car to the industry, the FSC basically put on a seersucker jacket, a clammy smile, rolled back the odometer and didn’t even let the talent kick the tires. You were handed the keys and that was that. Not even a service warranty.

If you read the press release carefully announcing the extension of Duke’s contract, there’s enough questionable tactics to warrant calling Ralph Nader.

Being the FSC board president Sidney Grief got to be the one to deliver the good news.

In calling Duke’s tenure one “marked by extraordinary achievement,” I’m wondering how Grief managed a straight face. I guess he’s been out of town the last couple of weeks. I forgot. Grief’s from the state where “Fuck you, I’m from Texas” is the like it, or lump it way of life. And the talent in this business just got a dose of it. Sorry, dose may be the wrong word.

According to Grief, Duke has “brought fiscal discipline and transparency to the Free Speech Coalition.” Fiscal discipline in the form of a Manwin bailout.

And talk about a Freudian slip of majestic proportions. “Transparent” is the perfect word to describe Duke’s legacy. But don’t take my word for it. Grief continues.

He lauds Duke, get this, for “directing the battle against ICM Registry’s failed .XXX top-level domain.”

Failed? I’d like to fail the way Stuart Lawley has failed. Lawley’s still counting money in his sprawling Florida mansion from .XXX domains. In fact wasn’t it Duke who led a contingent of adult industry people to San Francisco only to have Lawley pull a Roberts Rules of Order and put her in her place? The short term memory of this industry is astounding.

Right then and there in the Tenderloin District it was obvious that Duke was overmatched; and Michael Weinstein proves it every time the AHF issues one of its press releases with the unwieldy 200-word sentences.

Which goes to show, in order to make Diane Duke look bad, you only have to be one rung up on the competency ladder.

In Duke’s case qualifications are hardly an issue. All you need are friends in the right places. So let’s see if they’ll still be there in November when the adult industry becomes an apocalyptic showcase.

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