Thoughts Over The Morning’s First Coffee: Slim Pickens Has Not One Original Idea

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“You’re going to win some, you’re going to lose some.”

Dodgers first baseman Adrian Gonzalez actually said that yesterday in the wake of a defeat to the Boston Red Sox, proving that Sundays are generally a horrific news day. The fact that the LA Times printed that trope proves something about the LA Times.

What also made the news is that the Dodgers ownership announced that they were interested in buying the LA newspaper. In a way, that’s like LATATA buying Slim Pickens, a party line man through and through.

That’s why you read nothing of substance on Pickens’ site this weekend. The LATATA hot line must have been down in Pyorrhea, Mississippi.

In Porn Valley, if you read AdultFYI, Sunday was a great news day. The Times basically told you Sarah Shavon was a hooker and did $300 scenes with strangers outside the business.

So what does Shavon do? She twitters the article link all over the place. If I were her parents I’d be mortified, but I guess Shavon, to borrow a phrase from Bill Margold, considers this a badge of honor.

Let’s see. What else happened? Xander Corvus got raving drunk and challenged Rob Black to a duel. Rod Daily, Cameron Bay’s boyfriend, just plain freaked out and challenged Dr. Yao Ming over at Cutting Edge to a duel for, I guess, letting out sensitive information about him.

What did AVN and XBiz write about? Nothing. Must have been a bad weekend for press releases.

Oh, and we learned that Slim Pickens commandeers blog posts and makes it appear as though he were the exclusive recipient of them.

Isn’t that better than saying he steals material? Milton Berle made a career of making jokes about how he stole other comics’ jokes. In that aspect, Pickens is the quintessential joke.

A couple of months ago, someone named “Bill Smith” wrote me saying that all of Pickens’ stuff about AB 332, is what Smith wrote for him. And here I thought it was Tim Case. To quote Pickens, “my bad”.

So now Pickens, in retaliation for the fact that Rob Black and I out him at every turn as a scoundrel and industry sell out, makes a Brokeback Mountain reference. How cute and clever.

Except methinks it betrays the fact that Pickens, being a bigot from Flat Broke, Arkansas, hates gays and despises them.

Whatever you want to call it, Pickens stole the Brokeback idea as well. Several weeks ago Monica Foster, posted a Photo shop rendering of Pickens and Derek Hay in bed together [pictured].

Like I’m telling you. If it ain’t nailed down Pickens, will claim it as his own.

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