YouPorn to Fred Willard Here’s a Free Computer, Ya Know … For “Free” PORN

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from www.tmz.com – YouPorn has come up with a solution to Fred Willard’s dilemma of allegedly wanting to masturbate while watching XXX movies … but NOT be arrested. AT-HOME INTERNET PORN!!!

The adult themed website fired off a letter to the 72-year-old actor — who was recently popped for stroking the one-eyed snake in public — offering to buy him a brand, new computer to watch porn on.

The letter states, “We wanted to educate you a little more on some of society’s newest advances to help you achieve orgasm from the privacy of your own home.”

Not only that, the XXX site even throws in free installation, adding “One of our YouPorn representatives will come to your home to install it for you.”

Porn sites … always lookin’ out for the little guy.

Here’s the letter: Dear Mr. Willard,

We are so very sorry to hear about your recent run in with the law at the Tiki Theatre, and getting caught with “your pants down”. We can imagine that all of this press has probably been quite embarrassing for you.

We are very impressed that at your age you still have such a strong, and
healthy libido Fred! That’s why we wanted to educate you a little more on
some of society’s newest advances to help you achieve orgasm from the
privacy of your own home!

First there is our website, youporn.com which is found on a place called the “internet”. Some people say that former Vice President of the United States, Al Gore invented it, (but that’s a whole different discussion).

The website can be accessed through a machine called a “computer” and it’s connected these days via a cable modem that’s provided by your local cable company. The computer has a television monitor attached to it so you may view any adult related material in the privacy of your own home! Also, a side benefit of owning a computer is that you can actually communicate with other people, but many of our members don’t choose to do that.

Our website is 100% free and features thousands of video clips of people
having sex. Every niche you can imagine is featured,on youporn.com.
We’d like to buy you a home computer and have one of our youporn.com
representatives come to your home to install it for you now that you may have some downtime.

We’d also love for you to join the millions of fans who ” come”on our site
daily, and possibly become our new spokesperson.

Best Regards,
Corey Price

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