from www.creativeloafing.com – -After appearing in over 2000 porns, Ron Jeremy has earned the right to constantly walk around in parachute pants and crocs sandals.

-When conversing with a pornstar like Tanya Tate in a loud strip club, don’t be surprised if she rests her sizable breasts on you when yelling in your ear. This doesn’t mean she likes you; your shoulder may just look like a comfortable spot to prop her award winning breasts.

-When a stripper asks you what the hell Audrey Lords has in her ass (a bedazzled butt plug?), you know you’re witnessing something that is beyond the average strip club experience.

-You know you’re job as a sex writer is making you desensitized when the thing that surprises you most about spending a night with pornstars is how much free parking there is behind the nude club, 2001 Odyssey.

-Pornstars are just as flirtatious with you at a strip club as the dancers, but they don’t expect you to pay them after they grab your junk. This is just like a handshake for them.

-Having sex for a living doesn’t make you bored with sex. It makes you want to have more sex, with more people.

-Pornstars are by far the most fan friendly and hands-on entertainers in the world. What other public figures would insist that you take a picture with your head smashed between their breasts.

-Pornstars are generally much larger in every way than you would expect, which means you’ve severely underestimated the size of dicks you’ve seen fucking them on your tiny computer screen.

-Just because a full nude club doesn’t have a liquor license, doesn’t mean the pornstars hanging out there will be sober.

-Watch what you say to a pornstar. That large tan gentleman beside her who can’t button his shirt over his huge chest is probably her boyfriend and he’s not nearly as comfortable with what she does for a living as you might expect.

-Just because Angela Aspen and Kasey Grant invite you to their hotel room doesn’t mean you’re the only guy, or girl, who will show up.