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A Good Story is Worth Repeating: The Many Loves of Arnold – Including Analingus

from – Arguably one of the cheesiest political biopics ever made, is a little project titled See Arnold Run. It’s one of those it’s so bad, it’s actually pretty good, films. The movie, produced by Frank Zane, himself a championship bodybuilder, covers Arnold Schwarzenegger’s early years in bodybuilding to his run for governor of California.

Roland Kickinger from the Howard Stern Productions TV project, Son Of The Beach, is Arnold in all the flashback scenes to when he first arrives in California and becomes the ultimate gym rat with a noble vision. Had we stuck to that idea and remained entrenched in the late Sixties, early Seventies with the story, Kickinger is quite believable and has the Arnold Mr. Olympia physique and resembles him to a great degree.

Here’s where it gets marvelously insipid. Jurgen Prochnow is Arnold as the retired actor and aspiring politician. Along with the hairdo, weird carrot-color dye job and German accent, Prochnow, otherwise a decent character actor, is a bewildering choice. Even in his Governator days, Arnold looked pretty formidable in street clothes. Which is not the case with Prochnow who’d never be mistaken for an Arnold stunt double.

Yeah, there was that one embarrassing pic taken of Arnold in a swimsuit. Like all bodybuilders who had once been on the juice [aka steroids, and responsible for a heart valve replacement operation], his taut muscles sagged and his pecs had the senior citizen droop.

Yet, in a suit, Arnold still cuts a fairly imposing figure. Why no one bothered to pad Prochnow’s shoulders to bring off the effect is one of those questions you might have to ask Frank Zane who still looks pretty good from the pictures I’ve seen.

Thanks to the miracle of muscle memory, there’s no doubt that Arnold, if he’s to be believed about resurrecting his action hero status, will be back in the gym good as old. Yet with all his usual bluster, here’s one comment Arnold made that can be taken exception to.

In announcing his movie plans, Arnold says there are no action heroes nowadays. Guess he never heard of Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson or Stone Cold Steve Austin. Toss in Jason Statham, too, if you measure prowess by a five o’clock shadow.

And let’s not even get on the subject of acting. Unless this Arnold classic is engraved on his tombstone. When asked by a Mongol general what’s best in life, Arnold, as Conan The Barbarian, replies, “To crush your enemies, see them driven before you, and to hear the lamentation of their vimen.”

Even better, we have Arnold in Kindergarten Cop asking: “Who is your daddy and vat does he do?”

Arnold’s four kids are now asking that same question with news that another son just got added to the family brood of siblings by way of Arnold’s dalliance with his love taco. Mildred Patricia Baena, a former housekeeper.

For years Baena’s pregnancy had been attributed to a “husband,” Rogelio Baena but come on. Maria, who’s acting all huffy about this and demanding a divorce, had to know something.

“I ask for compassion, respect and privacy as my children and I try to rebuild our lives and heal. I will have no further comment,” Maria said in a press statement.

My guess is at least $250 Million from a compassionate divorce will be in that new life starter kit.

Aside from the latest news about unknown women seen going in and out of Arnold’s Santa Monica office for apparent liaisons, the press had a field day in 2003 during the gubernatorial recall election, by rehashing Arnold’s peccadillos when a bunch of women claimed he had groped them sexually without their consent. One said Arnold simply reached under her skirt and grabbed her ass. In Austria, where he’s from, this is a genial invitation to coffee and strudel.

The earliest incident was said to have occurred in 1975 at Gold’s Gym near Venice Beach. E. Laine Stockton, then newly married to professional bodybuilder Robby Robinson, had gone to the gym to watch her husband work out.

Stockton, who was 19 at the time, was wearing slacks, tennis shoes and a loose-fitting T-shirt. She wasn’t wearing a bra.

As Stockton sat on an exercise bench, Schwarzenegger allegedly walked up behind her, reached under her T-shirt and touched her bare left breast.

“The gym is full of bodybuilders and Arnold comes and he gropes my breast – actually touches my breast with his left hand,” she said.

According to Stockton, Schwarzenegger then walked away without saying a word.
Stockton describes herself as shocked to the point where she almost didn’t know how to react, because it was so out of the blue and so unexpected.

“It just completely caught me off guard, and when I finally came to my senses, I immediately went over to Robby and I said, ‘Look, Arnold just groped my breast.’ ”
Robinson, a former Mr. America, Mr. World and Mr. Universe, said he “tried to comfort her.”

Robinson has since had a falling out with Schwarzenegger. An African American known as the “Black Prince” during his years on the professional bodybuilding circuit, Robinson has accused Schwarzenegger of racism.

Robinson said he was upset by what Schwarzenegger had done to his wife, but did not confront him.

“What he did was uncalled for, but I couldn’t say nothing,” Robinson said, explaining that he feared he’d be ostracized by the bodybuilding world.

Robinson and Stockton are now divorced.

Another incident allegedly occurred in 1980 when a former pro beach volleyball player claimed Schwarzenegger touched her breast on a Santa Monica street.

The woman remembered walking down 19th Street, just off Wilshire Boulevard, when Schwarzenegger spotted her from his car.

“Come here,” she recalled Schwarzenegger saying, as he motioned with his finger to the woman, then 22.

The two knew each other. She worked as a waitress at Fromin’s deli a place Schwarzenegger frequented. On an earlier occasion, she recalled, Schwarzenegger had asked her when she was going on break.

“We could have a lot of fun in half an hour,” she remembered him saying. She said she was both a little scared and a little flattered.

“I can’t say I wasn’t flattered. Arnold invited me to his apartment.” She declined his invitation.

Schwarzenegger later renewed his invitation when he spotted her playing in a women’s volleyball tournament at Venice Beach.

“After the game, he came up to me and said, ‘Now you will come to my apartment.’ He didn’t want to hear no.” The woman said she told him, “It’s not going to happen.”

As she walked along 19th Street, Schwarzenegger conveyed a sense of urgency:

“Come close, it’s very important.” As she drew nearer to his car to hear what he had to say, Schwarzenegger “grabbed and squeezed” her left breast.

As tears welled in her eyes, Schwarzenegger laughed.

“He thought it was hilarious.”

She went to her car and “just started crying and crying.”

Schwarzenegger’s conduct toward women was prompted by a March 2001 article in Premiere magazine called “Arnold the Barbarian.”

After the article appeared, a number of Schwarzenegger’s colleagues wrote to the magazine saying that the story was inaccurate and that Schwarzenegger treated women with respect and kindness.

The magazine article relates this incident: “A woman who went to the set of 1996’s Eraser recalls the [male] friend she was visiting there being asked to retrieve Schwarzenegger from his trailer for a shot that was ready to roll earlier than expected.

“He asked me if I wanted to meet Arnold, and I said sure. When we opened the door to his trailer, Arnold was giving oral sex to a woman. He looked up and, with that accent, said very slowly, ‘Eating is not cheating.’ I met him again about a year later and asked him, in German, whether or not eating was cheating, and he just laughed.”

Another of the women quoted in the article was British television host Anna Richardson, who accused Schwarzenegger of touching her breast.

Richardson was interviewing the actor as part of his promotional tour for the movie “The Sixth Day.” The interview, to be aired on her TV show “Big Screen,” took place in a suite at the Dorchester Hotel in London.

Richardson interviewed Schwarzenegger on previous occasions and said that he had been a “perfect gentleman.”

“This time around was quite different,” she recalled.

“He kept looking at my breasts, kept asking if I worked out,” she said. “I went to shake his hand and he grabbed me onto his knee and he said, ‘Before you go, I want to know if your breasts are real.’ ”

Richardson replied that her breasts were real. She said she looked around for help from other people in the room, but nobody came to her assistance.

“At that point, he circled my left nipple with his finger and he said, ‘Yes, they are real.’ ” He then let her go.

Sheryl Main, a Hollywood publicist who has worked with Schwarzenegger on many films, had a different version. Main said she was present at the interview with Richardson and it was Richardson who provocatively approached Schwarzenegger.

After finishing the brief interview, Richardson rose, cupped her right breast in her right hand and said, “What do you think of these?” She then sat on his lap and was immediately escorted from the room, Main said.

She contends that Richardson later concocted her story.

In late 1990, Schwarzenegger was in the San Bernardino County town of Fontana, shooting “Terminator 2: Judgment Day.” According to a female crew member, Schwarzenegger harassed her on several occasions.

She recalled encountering the actor in an elevator as she headed downstairs to the pool of the hotel where the cast and crew were staying. On each occasion, she said, she was wearing a terrycloth robe over a black, one-piece swimsuit.

“At least three times – if not more – he would end up in the elevator with me, groping me and trying to take my robe off,” said the crew member.

“He would pin me against the corner in the elevator” and try to take off my robe and pull down the straps of my suit, she said.

The incidents did not last long, she said, because the elevator ride was short.

The woman said her response to Schwarzenegger’s actions evolved with each incident.

“The first time, you’re like, “Oh, my God! I was groped by Arnold Schwarzenegger!’ The second time you’re like, ‘This is disgusting.’ The third time you’re like, ‘Get the away from me.’ ”

She said she told her boss, who advised her, “Just stay away from him.”‘

After that, the woman said, she would check the hotel hallway before entering the elevator. She said if Schwarzenegger got into the pool, she would get out.

“What could you do? He was the highest-paid actor in the world. I was a peon. The only thing you could do is stay away from him.”

Another woman, now a wife and mother in her 30s, said she also fell in Schwarzenegger’s “sight lines” while working as a crew member on “Terminator 2” in Fontana.

She said Schwarzenegger was sitting in a director’s chair, surrounded by three or four other men, waiting for filming to start. It was either late afternoon or early evening, she said.

“I was walking on the set and Arnold called out, ‘Come here, you sexy devil,’ and reached out and pulled me on to his lap,” the woman recalled.

She said he then whispered in her ear: “Have you ever had a man slide his tongue in your [anus]?”

“I didn’t know how to react,” the woman said. “It was bizarre. What he said was so specifically sexual, it was bizarre.

“I remember looking around and seeing this bank of smiling faces and feeling alone,” she continued. The men standing at Schwarzenegger’s side, she said, “were in total support mode – of him, not me. It was kind of like everything he did was OK, and isn’t it funny and isn’t it swell? It was like they were proud of him. Nobody said, ‘What are you doing? Leave her alone.’ ”

After the incident, she said, she continued on her way. “I didn’t fall apart,” she said, but added: “It’s embarrassing and degrading when you’re doing a job.”

She did not report the incident, she said, because she was a low-level crew member.

“You’re in an environment where you just go with the flow.” The attitude on the set was: “Isn’t it flattering that Arnold is paying attention to you?”

Nancy Tafoya, who was also on the set of “Terminator 2,” recalled her own encounter with Schwarzenegger. Tafoya – who was serving as a legal guardian for actor Eddie Furlong, her nephew and one of the film’s key characters – said she was talking with a group of people when Schwarzenegger came up behind her and yanked her long, black hair.

Her head snapped back, she said. Although she was not injured, Tafoya said she was “shocked.” The people around her, she said, started laughing.

Tafoya said she was never touched in a sexual manner by Schwarzenegger, but she saw him push his body against a female crew member.

Tafoya said she was about 15 feet from Schwarzenegger when he approached a woman wearing jeans, a shirt and tennis shoes.

She said Schwarzenegger walked across the room and faced the woman. “Then he grabbed both sides of her knees and pushed them apart and started moving his pelvis into her,” Tafoya said. “It lasted about 10 seconds.” She said the woman laughed nervously, and Schwarzenegger walked away.

“I thought that was incredibly offensive, and I didn’t know who I was more annoyed with – him or her,” said Tafoya.

“But when I looked at her, I thought the woman didn’t have much choice, because it happened so quick.”

A stuntwoman, Chere Rae Bryson, after working with Schwarzenegger on the 1990 movie “Total Recall,” said he often used vulgar words for vagina and clitoris during her contact with him during the filming.

“He was crude, boisterous and disparaging around women,” she said. “In the makeup room, his language was so bad I turned around and walked out.”

Bryson said Schwarzenegger seemed to have toned down his behavior when she worked with him on a second movie, “Collateral Damage,” released in 2002.

“People do change as we get older,” said Bryson, who was also an actress and Playboy bunny. “All of us, at one time or another, have displayed behavior that I’m sure we’re not proud of. Hopefully, he’s evolved from that.”

Bryson said Schwarzenegger was also on his best behavior whenever his wife, Maria Shriver, was present. The couple were married in 1986.

“When Maria was around, he was a gentleman,” Bryson said. “When she wasn’t around, he was the opposite.”

One woman who says she was deeply offended by Schwarzenegger’s words was a waitress at the now-defunct Bicycle Shop cafe on Wilshire Boulevard in West Los Angeles, where the actor used to hang out with about half a dozen friends on Sunday mornings in the late 1980s.

“They always sat in my section,” she said. The group was friendly and chatty with her and took their lead from Schwarzenegger. They tipped well, too.

“There was definitely harmless flirtation with all of them,” said the woman, who also worked occasionally as a TV actress.

One Sunday she was pouring coffee at the table when Schwarzenegger called her over.

“I bent down to listen to him,” she recalled.

“He said, a little louder than a whisper, ‘I want you to do a favor for me.’ I thought, OK, maybe he wanted more bread. And he said, ‘I want you to go in the bathroom, stick your finger in your [vagina], and bring it out to me.’ ”

She stood upright. “I was thoroughly disgusted” but said nothing to Schwarzenegger, she recalled. “There was drama in the silence of it,” she said.

“He looked up, and it looked like I was threatening [him] with the coffee pot.”

Everyone at the table then glanced over at the restaurant owner, Andre Driollet. He wagged his finger at the waitress, she said, apparently fearful that she was going to dump the coffee on Schwarzenegger.

“I was so appalled, and when Andre looked at me [as if] to say you better not, I immediately went to him to tell him what happened,” she recounted. What Schwarzenegger had said “was above and beyond what was acceptable. I think he should have had hot coffee poured in his lap.”

The waitress told Schwarzenegger at the time: “If you’re ever some place and some woman throws hot coffee on your head, it will be me.” He laughed, she said.
“He thought it was the funniest thing. And then the whole table laughed because, if Arnold laughed, the whole table laughed.”

If any of this is remotely shocking, then you’ve never followed Arnold’s career. I remember him as a brash 19 year old kid coming over here to sunny Santa Monica from the somber, brooding woods of Austria. “The leaves were so dark and green then. The grass smelled sweet with the spring wind….”

And because he had a physical development that was way beyond his years and most of his contemporaries, the muscle mags of the time were competing for Arnold exclusives. It was Joe Weider, the Master Blaster who locked Arnold in with endorsement deals and pretty much ended the rivalry posed by Bob Hoffman, John Grimek and the York Barbell company gang with their competing Muscular Development magazine.

From that moment on, every issue of Weider’s Muscle Builder and Mr. America mags either had a grinning Arnold on the cover posing with some polka dot bikini chick, or an ad of same with Arnold telling you how to get the results he did with plenty of grueling, hard work and the Weider Super Pro 101 muscle supplements. In the Seventies and Eighties Weider had to settle on a number of false claims made by his products by offering refunds.

By this time I had many years of hardcore bodybuilding under my belt and learned one thing. You can have chicks if you’re got money, looks or both. You don’t need Arnold muscles. But you’d never have the Arnold biceps unless you juiced.


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