Porn Valley- Generally when Metro’s Neil Persky sneezes, Adultfyi is the first to say God Bless You.

But in a snafu of grandiose proportions, drama reared its ugly head again at Metro Thursday afternoon, except the story was wired mistakenly to the Adultfyi.com field office in Sumatra. By the time it was relayed back to Porn Valley through an elaborately complex series of associated news and cable trade offs, it was too late to make last night’s 4-star edition.

Persky, who has been showing the door more times than a salesman at a Home Improvement Center, apparently had a non-employee escorted from the Metro building. This time it was Liberty Network’s CEO Steve Banan.

It’s not clear whether Banan in the process of his untimely exit was attacked by a man with balloons or a Chicano from Arizona wielding death threats. But according to the Liberty Network, Banan, fresh from a triumphal tour of the Digital Playground offices earlier this week, went into Metro extending an olive branch.

Banan and Metro in the person of DCypher who runs the www.hardcoregossip.com website had been locked in a battle of wits in recent weeks with massive casualties at least on one side.

Banan, however, was asked to leave the Metro premises when he insisted on the what-the-fu meeting with Persky and publicist Janie Liszewski. Banan, who was seated in the lobby, apparently refused to state the nature of his business to a Metro employee and was given the bum’s rush, the heave-ho, the doo-wacka-doo, the 86.

According to a follow-up statement from the Liberty Network, Banan will no longer support or endorse Metro Interactive on the Internet. Which probably means that Banan will also pull the plug on his prestigious Barnacle Bill the Sailor project starring Ron Jeremy who’s also under contract to Metro.

Liberty Network also states that Banan “will continue” to file a lawsuit against DCypher and MetroXXX for defamation of character, although it generally takes, in most instances, less than a day to do so.

“Since MetroXXX owns the website back East and DCypher the writer, lives in California, two different law firms have been retained and assigned to the case,” the Liberty Network explains.

Banan, who had been placed in an untenable suffer-no-fools position by Cypher’s caustic wit, also intends on taking his story to the Turner Network CNN, NBC, ABC, “E” Channel, and Infinity Broadcasting, when he is in New York City in mid April, according to The Liberty Network.

“When a company treats me the way they did today watch out,” Banan continued. “How can a company one minute go public and sell stock and the next minute become a privately owned company once again. [It’s quite simple when you’re booted from Nasdaq.]

“Win or loose,” Banan continued, “it makes no never mind to me at this point. I just want to take these two on in the courtroom and in the mainstream press. What ever happens I want Kenny G [not to be confused with the clarinet player], who I thought was a friend and the rest of the big wigs at Metro to know, you people brought it on by not taking care of business when you should of. If this DCypher guy and the HCG website means all the problems and money it is going to cost you. I wish you the best.”

Taking callous disregard of the extent of The Liberty Network’s tentacles, Cypher has continually leveled taunts both against the vast resources of the Banan Entertainment Group and the ideological stances of Banan himself making bemused references about “Tourettes induced” rants and posting photos of Chimpanzees in National Geographic settings.

But if Cypher could be taken to ultimate task, it’s for lost opportunity. During an HCG editorial when he continually made sarcastic overtures to the leadership capabilities of the Banan Group, Cypher failed to come up with one cheap Ray Charles, Jose Feliciano or Ronnie Milsap reference. [Although in a recent interview on KSEX, Cypher resorted to the lowliest of low Bea Arthur comments.]

When, earlier this month, Banan had announced his retirement, Cypher greeted the news with the “tale told by an idiot” quote from Shakespeare. It was then that Banan threatened to sue, which, according to Adultfyi.com’s legal sources would mark the first time in jurisprudence that Macbeth would be dragged into a court of law as a material witness.

Upon further reflection, Cypher thought better of his rash actions and took the high road by retaining the counsel of R. Skeeter Kerkove, graduate cum laude of the Don Hollywood School of Torts.