Porn Valley- Even Howard Stern was wondering what could he have been thinking of when Blue Iris was a guest on his show Wednesday.

Stern immediately wanted to know where her front teeth were. iris said she got in car accident and went through a year ago. Iris said it happened about a year ago. Stern said Iris talked like she had no teeth whatsoever. Stern thought Iris was older than the 65 that he had been told. She claims she’s 57. “I told them to call Social Security.” Iris claims she was born in 1947.

Stern asked when was the last time she was in porn. “About two years ago but I’m doing comedy,” she said. Stern couldn’t believe that she got naked. “I don’t wear a bathing suit,” Iris said. “You have sex and guys buy ’em,?” he asked incredulously. Iris said yes and also claims to have four magazine spreads. Stern wondered if he was being goofed on. “Are you mentally ill?” he asked her. “You do speak funny. Are you drunk?” It was pointed out that Iris, who scenes can be found on the web has a flabby body. Stern asked her to pull down her pants so he could see her ass. Objecting, Iris said she was also a comedian at the Comedy Store. “I’m not laughing so far,” he said. As Iris dropped her drawers it was pointed out that her specialty is black guys. “I feel bad for black guys,” Stern said.

It was suggested that Iris must have been wearing some kind of diaper because there was a crackling noise. It was suggested that her diaper was on too tight and cutting off the flow of circulation to her brain.

A caller-in said Iris was making him nauseous. “Why would you want to see her ass?” he asked. Stern said he just had to see what it looked like.

Iris said she was 53 when she got into porn. “It was fun.” Stern found it hard to believe that she was getting paid to be in it and brought up the fact that her son has AIDs. Iris said she’s been married twice and that her son is 31. Iris finally admitted that she had been in a mental institution at one time. And the question whether her son has AIDs was also challenged. Iris said she had three kids but raised five. Stern asked if they took her kids away from her at some point. “They had to.” Iris said she always won custody and claims to know right from wrong.

Iris explained that she had been setting up a men’s store in San Francisco about 30 years ago which had a bar in it. She passed out, according to her. “They found marijuana in my purse. I had 90% coverage on my insurance.” Stern was breaking up at Iris’ attempts to tell the story and wanted to know what mental institution she went to. “St. Francis,” she answered. Iris was asked if she got shock therapy. Iris said yes, and Stern said that explains it. “I closed them down,” she said. “It took me five years to recover.” Stern hated to break the news but didn’t think Iris recovered. Iris claims Howard K. Smith did a 90 minute special on her case. Stern didn’t think he was getting the whole story judging by Iris’ sketchy details.

Stern also thought Iris was drunk as she was slurring her words. Iris then feigned a phone sex voice. Stern thought she was having a stroke. Iris said she had been to Scores the night before and got the VIP treatment there. “All the girls kissed me.”

Stern wanted to see Iris’ hair under her wig. She refused then gave in. Stern said she looked like Moe from the Three Stooges “You must be in porn. It sounds like someone f ‘ed your brains out,” Stern told her and asked that she take off her top. “Let’s see your saggy boobs.” Iris refused. “Let’s see your beaver,” he then asked. Iris then asked Stern if he would sign her ass. Stern said he would if she showed him her ganoosh. “Show me your wrinkly prune.” Iris complied. “Whoa, man, that’s nasty,” Stern moaned. “You got to be kidding me.” Stern said Iris had a “double-gunt.” Iris claimed she brought Stern gifts from Larry Flynt. “That wrinkly prune was gift enough,” he said.

“I want to meet the dude that put you in porn,” Stern said. Iris said she didn’t do anal but Stern seemed to think there was a reason she had the diaper on.