Miami [Miami Herald]- Single guys won’t admit this, especially to women, but at one time or another they have wondered what it would be like to date an adult-film star.
We don’t mean to be perverted (regardless of how it sounds).
Men only discuss this among themselves, usually over large quantities of beer and chicken wings (or here in Miami, Bacardi and ceviche).
Can a normal, regular guy date a porn queen?
I decided to take one for the team and get to the bottom of this question. The Exxxotica convention was in Miami Beach last weekend, and what better venue to find out what the starlets think? (Insert your own joke here.)
So I asked the opinions of three well known stars. And the resounding answer was yes, a regular guy does have a chance.
”Absolutely,” said Jennifer [sic] Drake, [pictured] a diva from Wicked Pictures. “It’s probably a lot easier than guys would think because aside from the fact that we have sex on camera, we’re pretty normal. We have our hobbies, like yoga, swimming and reading.”
Whoa! Why didn’t I think of it that way?
Jennifer said dating someone outside of the industry is referred as dating a ”civilian.” (Does President Bush know the adult-entertainment industry is taking lingo notes from the military? Don’t ask, don’t tell!)
”I met a guy at Target once,” Jennifer continued. “And I like people who share similar interests. The last time I got out of a relationship it was with a civilian. Essentially it was a problem with him dealing with what I do.”
Ah, yes, there is that. Having sex. On film. As a career.
The starlets all said that is the single toughest part of dating a “civilian.”
”A lot of us girls date regular guys but it’s hard because you want to meet someone who understands your business and isn’t jealous,” said Tera Patrick, one of a handful of adult stars who has crossed over into mainstream culture.
While their films tend to attract ”civilians,” after a few months the novelty wears off.
”Jealousy can rear its ugly head,” Jennifer said. “But like any other relationship, you need a lot of communication.”
The more I spoke to these women, the more I heard words like communication, common interests, confidence and being yourself — staples of any relationship.
Carmen Luvana said she doesn’t believe in mixing ”business with pleasure.” (But what if your business is pleasure? OK, never mind.) She met her ”civilian” boyfriend of two years through a mutual friend.
”The big misconception by guys is they think because we have sex for a living they think that will happen all the time,” Carmen said. “Just be yourself and don’t talk about how many movies you have watched. Be normal and treat her like a normal person . . . . We want a guy that wants you for you and not because you are an adult star and he wants to let everyone know.”
OK, so don’t date the woman on the video jacket. Go after what’s on the inside (of her — not the DVD!). Seems like common sense. But where would a guy meet a starlet? Not at an adult convention.
”That gets really old, really fast,” Tera said. “At conventions they ask if you are single, if they can have your number, and say they want to marry you. It’s OK to meet a fan or date a fan, but not a fanatic.”
Aside from Target, other ways women say they’ve met men included at a tanning salon, at a spa, or through friends.
”A lot of girls are looking for that guy who can take them away from everything,” Tera said. “In the end, when the curls come out and the eyelashes come off, you want someone who will love you for you.”
Go figure, huh?