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Chef Jeff Presents the Theory Behind the Bloody Gash

PORN VALLEY, CA – In a mystery that was beginning to rival crop circles for perplexity, KSEX p-jay Chef Jeff was on the phone at KSEX Monday night talking about the bloody gash on his noggin’. Jeff had some ‘splainin’ to do and came up with the Tylenol and Vicodin theory which, considering that we’re talking about the porn industry, is as good as any, if you’re looking for a cheap excuse.

Wankus, who interviewed Jeff, called the entire incident very strange in which Jeff went to adultcon and, subsequently, had no recollection whatsoever of being there. That’s because, later, Jeff found a mysterious lump on his head which evidently prompted short term memory loss. Jeff had been to a Laker game Sunday night with Darien Ross. It was Ross who alerted Wankus stating that Jeff had blood all over his head and was not himself. Jeff had no comprehension of dates much less anything else within a 24 hour period. He was lost,” said Wankus. “He knew who I was but he kept saying what’s the date.” Neither did Jeff remember going to the Lake game. It was suspected that Jeff’s ex, Sassy may have been involved, but as Jeff’s explanation bore out, that was not the case.

Wankus reported that Jeff got a CAT scan and was ruled okay. “He just got a concussion and short-term memory loss.” Wankus also acknowledged Rachel Worth for her help in assisting Jeff. “When he called me he was in La-La Land,” Wankus said. “We were trying to get him to the hospital.”

Jeff, who appeared to be okay, then called in noting that his short term memory had been for shit and discovered he was calling people he had already called, sometimes a third and fourth time. “I did not remember that I called them. I was really out of it.” Jeff said his first recollections were being in the hospital and providing a urine specimen. “But I don’t remember the ride to the hospital. I don’t remember being checked in.” Jeff also dismissed that he had been in the rumored brawl at Adultcon. “Whatever happened happened here in the house,” he said. “I had to have slipped and fallen.” Jeff also said the Laker game was pretty much a blur but was told by Ross that after the game, they had hooked up with her friends Olivia O’Lovely. “It was her, Olivia and another girl. We were going to go out partying. They invited me to go and I turned them down. I said I was going to go home. That’s not like me.”

Jeff recalled giving as an excuse the fact that he had to get up early for another radio gig. Jeff said he never got there and had called the station six different times to tell them he wasn’t coming in, forgetting each time he called. Jeff said he had taken a Tylenol and Vicodin sometime during the night and had jerked off two or three times.

“I think the combination of the Vicodin and just being euphoric after jerking off, I think I slipped and fell and hit my head against the wall.” Jeff said another of Jeff’s ex girlfriends found him laying on the floor with a gash in his head. “I don’t remember her being here, and she called my business partner Randy and he took me to the hospital.” Jeff it was his ex girlfriend J-Lo’s surmise that he had hit his head against the thermostat on the wall.

Jeff said the thought had crossed his mind that someone might have been laying in wait to bushwhack him.

 

 

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