Porn Valley- Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaagh.

The sound you just heard was the vodka manufacturers of the world learning that Cindy Crawford has renounced the devil’s brew and is attending AA meetings.

It’s also the sound emitted by Lady Clairol to learn that Crawford had decided to become a brunette.

Crawford, who just signed on with Spiegler Girls, is dead serious about the AA part, but wishes she were back being a blond. Cindy was at The Pussyman, www.pussyman.com David Christopher’s house Tuesday morning shooting a foot fetish scene along with Mya Luanna who’s also with Spiegler.

Luanna is saying something about how she enjoys being tied up with pantyhose then striking novel escapes. And she is very much into feet- mens and womens.

Crawford, who has not retired from the business contrary to a story on the Internet a couple of weeks ago, is very happy right now. She’s been with Steve Austin [not the wrestler], she’s very much in love and I ask if that means she wants to get married.

“I want to have babies with him,” says Crawford.

But not right at this moment. That’s because Crawford’s about to put her foot in Steve Taylor’s face. In their little skit for Christopher’s new fetish movie, Crawford and Luanna are strippers and Taylor, who comes into their club, has the nickname Mr. Foot. Obviously a distant relative of Mr. Skin. Taylor decides to drop by their house.

“I like shoes,” he tells Luanna off camera when she asks Taylor if he’s into feet.

Whatever that means, once the camera’s rolling, the trio’s enveloped in a Chinese puzzle of tongues, arches and fishnet stockings. Christopher thinks this is awesome. Especially the fact that Crawford’s double-jointed and performing the kind of foot job on Taylor you don’t ordinarily see.

Slumped comfortably in a chair, his Boston Red Sox ball cap tilted to the left, his sunglasses perched up on his forehead and a benign smile crossing his face, Christopher looks like a father watching his kids in Little League.

It’s a family album.