NY {The Journal News]- Vincent “Cousin Vinny” Agnello was loaded down with enough bling to anchor a battleship. “Look at this,” he said, removing a heavy platinum pendant from around his neck. “It was Big Pun’s.”

Big Pun was the legendary 698-pound hip-hop artist who died unexpectedly seven years ago in a room at the Crowne Plaza Hotel in White Plains. Minus the bling, it took four strong men to lift his immense body onto the autopsy table.

Cousin Vinny said Big Pun’s mother later sold him the pendant. “Guess how much it’s worth?” he asked.

I couldn’t say. “Sixty thousand dollars,” Cousin Vinny replied. He added, “Well, Pun didn’t need it where he was going.”

Then he pointed to another piece of jewelry wrapped around his wrist. “This is $80,000,” he boasted.

Cousin Vinny is a direct beneficiary of the old adage that sex sells, which means that he is in the business of providing party strippers, strip-o-grams and other forms of adult entertainment. He’s also got an arrest record that stretches from Mahopac to the Bronx and a number of places in between. His curriculum vitae with the law begins more than a decade ago and includes busts for promoting prostitution, drugs, bribery and rape. The last charge was dropped in a plea bargain.

No publicity, it seems, is bad publicity for Cousin Vinny, who invites visitors to his Gorgeous Strippers Plus Web site to check out “Cousin Vinny’s complete news archive at The Journal News.” The compendium includes news reports of the infamous Chappaqua party in the summer of 2001 when members of a high school football team were invited to lick whipped cream off a stripper’s body. The parents who hosted the party were convicted of endangering the welfare of a child, forever placing Cousin Vinny on the suburban-porn map. It also earned him the lifetime enmity of then-Westchester District Attorney Jeanine Pirro.

Cousin Vinny is an in-your-face character, as Pirro herself pointed out after he was arrested in an undercover sting operation.

“This is the height of arrogance,” she said. “This is a brazen individual who was promoting prostitution. He does it in the Yellow Pages.”

It is true that Cousin Vinny advertises in the Yellow Pages.

But then that section of the phone book also carries two full pages of listings for escort services, and only if you were born yesterday do you believe that the word “escort” carries anything short of two meanings these days.

Sex in the suburbs is a hot topic. There ought to be a popular blog about it, if there isn’t one already. After all, pornography drives home more dollars than any other industry in America, as Cousin Vinny well knows. Money rules – it’s as simple as that. Bail and legal fees are just part of the overhead.

Last week, a scary-looking dominatrix (is there really any other kind?) was busted. This was amusing not only because of the peculiar services she provided but the fact that her dungeon was inside a farmhouse she rented from an utterly unsuspecting yeshiva. What’s more, the house of exquisite pain was in Bedford. Hills, that is. Swimmin’ pools, movie stars.

Sandra L. Chemero, the alleged practitioner of the spanking arts, apparently was very popular. Somebody dropped a dime on her because there was too much traffic in the neighborhood, which is often how successful businesses are stymied in Westchester. Too many cars cause road jams and air pollution. If Madam Sandra had filed an environmental impact statement with the proper authorities, who knows, maybe she’d still be pouring hot candle wax on her bad, bad clientele of supplicants who are unworthy, groveling worms deserving of eternal punishment. Allegedly, of course. Speaking of her clientele, it’s only a matter of time before the names in her little black book leak out. I guarantee there’s more than a few reporters, editors and bloggers with itchy palms and hair sprouting from their ears who are trying to get those names.

She’s the second dominatrix to make local headlines in a year. (One more and holy cow, we’ll have a trend!) The other was Gina Pane, the former Manhattanville honors student who got into a little dust-up with the Greenburgh cops. By the way, the name is pronounced Pan-nay, so Gina really ought to place a grave accent over the letter e.

Go ahead, you tell her. I dare you.

People are fighting back against the mighty tide of porn, or the mere suggestion of porn. A few years ago, the Diamond Club topless bar in Port Chester was finally closed after an epic battle with community activists. Last year, citizens succeeded in removing large billboards in Port Chester and New Rochelle that advertised the sex-toy wares of Romantic Depot. Every now and then, someone somewhere gets exorcised over a Victoria Secret window display, and gee whiz, before you know it, there goes the G-string.

Cousin Vinny keeps right on going, though. This weekend, he has a gig for two strippers booked with a certain New Rochelle organization. I called the place, and a man on the other end of the phone said, Cousin Vinny was mistaken. “He’s got the wrong place,” he said.

Sure, he does.