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Crissy Moran Outlines Her Current Woes; Gave Her Life Over to Christ

> Crissy Moran post on MySpace: I left porn on October 6, 2006. I did not receive another dime from my website. I had a contract with a company to run my website and they refused to take it down. They have exploited the fact that I am now a Christian.

I have seen website affiliates mock me and my change. I even saw a nude picture of myself with photoshopped pictures of Jesus’ face covering my breasts. The old website continues to run because I cannot afford a lawyer. I get so upset every time I get an email from another Christian accusing me of profiting. I also worked for many companies who own the rights to my photos. You see in the porn business they make sure you sign a model release that says that once they pay you your modeling fee they own the photos. It’s all a way to protect themselves in case the girls change their minds or in my case give their lives over to Christ.

I struggle daily with my past mistakes not because I feel condemned because I know there is no condemnation in Christ, but because I worry that my past will lead others down the wrong path. It causes me so much grief to think that other young women might see my past and be persuaded to get involved in porn or to think that my old images are fuel to someone addicted to porn.

Two months after leaving porn I went completely broke and lost my vehicle. I still had to pay rent and bills and God provided for me in this time. I took out my hair extensions and lost the fake nails. No more spa, no more gym membership, no more restaurants. It was hard to leave all the luxuries behind but I still continued in my pursuit of God. I began to attend church regularly twice a week, went on a retreat with my church, met with my pastor and my mentor.

I went through much anxiety about not having any money. I broke out in hives over and over, got very little sleep, and gained a little weight. A spiritual war began as I suffered nightmares almost every night and had to learn to take control of it. Greater is the one who is within me than the one who is of this world! God used that time of anxiety to strengthen my dependence on him. Slowly my anxiety diminished more and more. I still deal with some but not nearly how I did months ago!

January 2, 2007, I began working in a law office as a receptionist and making just enough money to pay my bills. At the same time I was dealing with a lot of my issues from my past – past abortions, abuse, anger, and depression (which is why I haven’t blogged much since then.) It has been quite the rollercoaster. Just learning how to be responsible and disciplined to get up and go to a regular job every day has been difficult!

I have been going through Christian therapy and have finally found one I really like. I am excited about seeing her and even though she is just now coming in to my life I look forward to my time with her each week.

I went through a few roommates and found one of my new best friends, Daphne in the process. She told me she needed to move out on July 1st to go back to Texas to be with her grandfather. I was sad that she was leaving but she had a lot of her own struggles she was dealing with and needed peace in her life.

To make things worse I lost my job on June 12th.

They hired my replacement, I trained her for 2 days and in the middle of the second day they fired me. I was told I was not a good match with the firm. I was already thinking ahead before I was fired and looking for a new job. The firm I was working in was a criminal defense firm and while they mainly handled DUI’s they had just begun new marketing to take on more domestic violence cases. They started sending booklets out to the jails to get more clients.

With me being a victim of abuse, I have very strong feelings about defending people who are guilty of abuse. I know that not everyone who is arrested for it is guilty but I felt convicted about working in a firm that would defend some criminals.

It has been four weeks since I lost my job. I only have the change left in my purse right now. Bill collectors are calling. I just moved in with a new roommate and thank God I saved enough before I lost my job to pay my July rent. My new roommate, Roseanne is loving and full of grace. I am so blessed to have met her. I joined her small group with the church and it is filled with strong Christian women.

Jared and I have just finished a 7 week premarital class through one of the churches we attend. It was simply amazing and has allowed us to grow even closer together as a couple. No, we are not engaged – YET. We are still waiting on God’s timing and know that we will be blessed for doing so.

I have sent my resume out to non-profits who help young women and girls who are at risk, along with some brief background. I really have a passion to be involved in helping others. There is nothing I want more. I have also sent my resume out to other places such as churches, medical offices, and law firms. I have had three interviews and even applied at a temp agency. No doors have opened as of yet but I know my God will provide and when he is ready the right door will open.

Next week I plan to get an application for college. I will also being calling a mission in Jerusalem to find out more on how I can get involved. They have an amazing mission that walks alongside Muslim children and mothers as they bring the children to Jerusalem for heart surgery. I feel that God may be calling me to serve.

Please pray for me to have wisdom and discernment. Even through all of this, this has been the most exciting time of my life. I am entering a new season in my walk with the Lord and with that will come new struggles, more chances for growth and more chances to see God’s blessings in my life!

> NitneLiun comments on This blog post raises more questions than it answers. Were you fired or did you quit your receptionist job? What did you think a criminal defense legal practice does? They defend those accused of criminal acts. Why were you willing to work there when they primarily defended drunk drivers but couldn’t tolerate them defending those accused of domestic violence?

Far more people are killed by drunk drivers than are killed in domestic violence incidents. When you took out your hair extensions and got rid of the fake nails, did you consider removing the bolt-ons from your chest? Have you considered auctioning the implants off to the fanbois at ADT? That should raise enough for next month’s rent. How the hell are going to afford college tuition if you only have the change in your purse? How many Muslim kids walk to Israel to have their heart problems treated? Can’t be more than a few. And what makes you think those Muzzies want you around anyway? Infidel! When you finally realize that porn is all you are good for, will you start doing double anal and stop begging for money on your myspace blog?


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