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Dick Smothered Jr.

Porn Valley- Though he wasn’t naming any names, it was pretty obvious that Guy Capo was talking about Dick Smothers Jr. when Capo, on his KSEX show Tuesday night, related some anecdotes about a movie he directed almost two years ago called Sex, Drugs and Rock N’ Roll.

Capo told the story as a result of questions he was being asked about the casket scene in the movie but was avoiding to the best of his ability to reveal dirt, he said. “I like to bring up the dirty issues and the dirty subjects and let people run with them,” he said. “Let them get their own ideas and formulate their own opinions, and put two and two together for themselves as to who is and is not guilty of such activity within our industry.”

Again, without naming names, Capo said he was having a particular time keeping one character’s dick hard. “We had two days of shooting that were very daunting,” said Capo who had already cast the band members for the four days on the shooting schedule. “I couldn’t get out of this, now. He was an established character in the band, and if he can’t get his dick hard and fuck for me, then what am I going to do?”

Consequently, said Capo, every day on the set required extensive re-writing to accommodate Smothers’ limp dick. Without naming names, of course.

“After day one, I realized we didn’t get a scene out of this day, so now I’ve got to re-write the script because the sex that was supposed to happen didn’t happen, and I had to re-tweak things for tomorrow. Then tomorrow comes around and the sex that was supposed to happen didn’t happen then, either. So now I got to make sure that what I tweaked stays consistent with yesterday and I’ve got to re-tweak tomorrow as well.”

Hence, Capo said he was required to write forward and backward in time to get the movie to stay coherent.

“I figured the best way to do it was to take my limp dick character and kill him off!” said Capo. “So much like the soap operas, we write him out of the script. You’re dead! And on the last day we’re going to put you in a casket and over your dead body- all your friends who can keep their dicks hard- are going to fuck.”

Consequently, for seven hours in the August heat in downtown Los Angeles in a non-airconditioned warehouse, Smothers- without naming names- was required to lay in a box, dead as his dick. “While everybody else fucked around him for seven arduous hours,” Capo said, rubbing it in.

“It was brilliant if I do say so my damned self. I thought I wrote my way out of that scenario. I wish I could do that all the time.” Capo joked about acquiring a God complex from that incident. “It was nice having that kind of power, just to pick up a pen and go- you know what- you’re gone. See ya.”


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