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Does Florida Want the Porn Industry?

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Christian XXX plays him in the film version.

from www.palmbeachpost.com – Gov. Rick Scott [pictured] needs to be on the next plane to Los Angeles.

There are jobs, jobs, jobs for the taking.

The erotic film industry is in upheaval these days over a jobs-killing government regulation, one of the pet peeves of our beloved governor.

Yes, the $8 billion porn movie business, which does about 90 percent of its productions in Los Angeles, says it can’t abide by the new mandatory condoms law that went into effect this week.

“Some companies have been consulting with their attorneys about where would be a good place to move,” Mark Kernes, the senior editor of Adult Video News told me.

I’m sure the governor of Florida, a state which doesn’t even require motorcyclists to wear helmets, will have little trouble assuring porn movie moguls that the state wouldn’t require porn movie actors to wear condoms.

Florida’s an established haven for unprotected heads.

“Florida will not allow unreasonable regulations to stand in the way of job creation,” the governor could say, reprising his line from his first State of the State address.

Or he can dust off his “strangling web of regulations” talk, although I think he might want to revise it to a “snug web” in this case.

Some may scoff at the chance of getting California’s porn business.

But Scott has made it his business to roam the land looking to pick off workers from out of state.

He took a stab at luring the Chicago Mercantile Exchange, but that didn’t work. Then he traveled to Canada to secure jobs that were already in the works, which looked a little desperate.

And he has challenged Texas Gov. Rick Perry, saying Florida intended to unseat Texas as the most “business-friendly environment” for private-sector business.

So making Florida the capital of the porn movie industry, which you could rightfully call a privates-sector business, would be Scott’s premier jobs-creation achievement.

If it works out, he might even stop trying to disavow his campaign pledge to create 700,000 new jobs in addition to the already-expected growth of the state’s economy.

It could put Florida on top again.

Sure, luring porn star jobs from California doesn’t have the panache that the higher-tech biology industry has. But for an $8 billion-a-year cash injection to Florida, Scott ought give this one his best shot.

Even if that means he makes his pitch by walking into the room dressed as a pizza delivery boy and accompanied by the sound of a wah-wah guitar.

“I think Nevada or Oregon is more likely,” Kernes said. “But the first thing adult movie producers would do is file lawsuits so they can stay in California.

“Moving would not be their first choice, even to Florida,” he said. “It’s a lot more humid than California.”

OK, we have a humidity issue in Florida.

But I’m confident that state legislators can work out some kind of sweat tax credit. If they’ve already figured out a way to give millions of tax dollars every year to billionaire sports team owners, they can devise a way to compensate porn actors for unwanted moisture issues on the set.

So start spreading the virus, er, I mean, the news. Florida’s your safe haven from the burdens of government regulation.

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