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Ex-porn star speaks of transformation

Alcohol, drugs, and sex for money were regular parts of Shelley Lubben’s life during the 1990s until, she says, Jesus helped her transform.

Lubben spoke about her life as porn star “Roxy” during services at First Family Church, 7700 W. 143rd St., Overland Park, Sept. 2-3.

“Don’t tell me Jesus doesn’t hang out with drug addicts,” Lubben said. “I had to drink a big bottle of vodka every day just so the holy spirit would shut up.”

Senior Pastor Jerry Johnston said pornography should be addressed because many Christian men struggle with the issue daily.

Born into a marginally Christian family with a distant father, Lubben said she became “the queen of rebellion” as a teen – smoking, drinking and partying late. Lubben’s father waited until she reached 18, then told her to leave.

Without food or a place to live, Lubben sat on a street corner crying until a “nice older man” gave her a hug.

Bad relationships with men, specifically their fathers, help propel women into the sex industry, Lubben said.

“It felt so good to have a man’s arms around me,” she said. “He said he wanted to help me. He was real smooth. He said a man wanted to make love to me for $35.”

Hunger and a feeling of worthlessness led Lubben to accept the offer, which led to prostituting regularly. Prostitution resulted in three pregnancies – two miscarriages and one live birth. Lubben’s daughter, Tiffany, is now 18.

Prostitution also led to acting in adult films and drug and alcohol addictions. Lubben said adult films give an “illusion” of pleasure.

“Men think (female porn stars) enjoy sex; we don’t,” Lubben said. “I wish they would show what really happens – girls throwing up in the bathrooms. Look at the girls’ faces, we are in pain. Most become lesbians because they hate men.”

Acts women are expected to perform are usually not revealed until a woman arrives on the set, Lubben said. If a woman refuses to perform, she will not be paid.

Lubben said working conditions are “filthy” because adult movie sets are covered in body fluids – including blood from injured women – and rarely cleaned.

“You find the same fluids on these sets that you find in an E.R.,” she said.

Holidays are lonely, Lubben said, because many women have no family ties.

“Most porn stars have problems with sex abuse and most don’t have a place to go for holidays, so we have holidays together,” Lubben said. “For Thanksgiving we get together and we are thankful to not have HIV or an STD.”

In recent years, adult film performers have tested positive for HIV/AIDS, even though the industry requires regular testing for the disease. Lubben said performers fear getting diseases because film makers refuse to require condom use.

“I would pray every day, ‘God, get me out,'” she said.

God answered that prayer, Lubben said, when she met Garrett Lubben, a preacher’s son and meth addict, in a bar. Together, the couple overcame addiction problems, married and had two daughters.

Lubben said God transformed her from “Roxy” and gave her a ministry to help others out of the porn industry and help those addicted to porn.

Johnston said all adult films should be avoided. People using soft porn eventually will view hard porn and some will find themselves involved in “perversion,” he said.

Lubben said wives should not take it personally if a husband has problems with porn. She advised women to pray for God to heal the marriage and seek counseling.

Johnston said the Internet, pay channels like HBO, and many hotel chains make porn easily available. He urged people battling porn addiction to seek help through the church’s Comfort Circles support groups.

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