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Extreme Associates celebrated Lizzy Borden’’s 30th Birthday Party in grand style

Extreme Associates sent the following re-cap out of the recent Lizzy Borden birthday party held in Hollywood.

Porn Valley- Extreme Associates celebrated Lizzy Borden’’s 30th Birthday Party in grand style as only the notorious XXX Canoga Park-based company could: with scantily-clad strippers, crippled midgets, drag queens, a rare performance by Society 1, and everyone’s favorite friendly-neighborhood-hedgehog, Ron Jeremy.

Fulfilling a promise he made to Lizzy more than five years ago, Rob Black, the owner of Extreme and also the lady of honor’’s better half, rented the popular rock club The Joint just for the occasion and the eclectic outrageously-dressed crowd couldn’t be happier for it.

While dozens of weirdos, porn stars, and a six foot man in a bunny suit walked the Red Carpet, inside Jeremy kicked off the festivities with his usual bawdville schmaltz, the Viagra-fused hare hoppily leading the diverse partygoers into the raging den of inequity to the beat of the AVN Hall of Famer’’s pseudo-comedy.

“”Ladies, drink up, because the drunker you get, the better I look!” the aged swordsman/cutup riffed to mixed results.

Fronted by the acclaimed underground princess Messy Stench, and much to the relief of the rowdy crowd, Electro Hip Hop Lunatics quickly took the stage, complete with crazed costumed dancers, over-sized props, and wild antics. Almost instantaneously the energy level was raised.

With hostesses dressed as characters from Alice in Wonderland, food was served on platters throughout the night. In line with the “Alice” theme, strategically placed teapots were filled with golden shlauger. In the VIP section, drinks were as plentiful as Jeremy’s bad jokes.

Between sets, go-go girls gyrated on stage, while various porn and mainstream personages paid their respects to Lizzy, showering her with gifts and birthday greetings. Steve Issacs from The Panic Channel even sang Happy Birthday to the lucky lady.

Matt Zane’s Society 1 followed with a blistering set that nearly brought down the house, putting an emphasis on their latest material.

With Matt stretching his vocal chords to almost inhuman decibels and the room so tightly packed you could barely move, the highlight of the evening though was still to come. As an encore, none other than Rob took the stage and joined Matt and the boys for a smoking rendition of Metallica’s Enter Sandman, which also happened to be Rob’s birthday gift to Lizzy. Everyone went wild and, needless to say, was also in virtual shock at the accuracy of Rob’s performance.

Extreme Associates’ director Thomas Zupko commented that Rob’s “mistake-free” version of the heavy metal classic was a definite contender for this year’s “Ripley’s Believe It or Not.”

A three layer cake decorated with skull and crossbones was presented to Lizzy under a chorus of a drunken serenade, while a Paris Hilton look-a-like, three-quarters in the bag, bragged about how she was going to be the next “Extreme Associates contract girl” and was ready to take on all comers that very minute.

Zamora the Torture King, who flew in from Las Vegas especially for the event, fittingly closed out the night, horrifying the crowd with sword swallowing, glass eating, and sticking long needles throughout his contorted withered body.

With AVN, The Gauntlet, The Metal Den, Hollywood TV, and numerous freelance paparazzi on hand to capture all the insane shenanigans for posterity, it was a spectacle as only Extreme Associates and Rob Black could conjure up and no doubt a memorable 30th for the infamous Miss Borden.


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