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Felica Fox Preggers

Tim Case writes on Baby’s name as of today: Dakota Alan Walker

We’re trying to decide on the baby’s name, now that we know he’s a he. We’re tossing around all sorts of outlandish and bizarre monikers, and she has several books filled with long lists of names arranged by categories like “Literary Names” and “Scandinavian Names” and “Future Class Clowns”.

Our conversations in the car sound something like this.

I turn left onto Stanley Avenue. The radio is tuned to the local public radio station, and the familiar theme music to “All Things Considered” is just beginning.

The Pregnant Porn Star stares out the window. Out of nowhere she says “Leland. Leland Alan Walker.”

“Leland?” I say. “Leland is awful. I can’t imagine calling my son Leland”

“What’s wrong with Leland? It’s a good name and I like it.”

“Honey. Please. It’s horrible. It’s like the name you’d give a nerdy character in a movie as a joke. Like Eugene or Melvin.”

“Well, I like it. I like that, and Dakota, and Renner.”

“Renner? Why can’t our son have a normal name, like Bob? Jim? Tom?”

“I hate names like that. I want something different, like Gunnar, or Landon, or Aidan.”

“Jesus,” I say.


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