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Gauge Recaps Her Submission Match

Porn Valley- Considering the subject matter, I took an amazing amount of shit at X-Con this past Sunday for reporting that Olivia O’Lovely took a submission hold from Gauge and crapped out during their Bitch Brawl at the Porn Star Olympics the day before. I was told that I basically got it all wrong that Olivia won and that she was very upset by the post. Since that was enough to make me want to walk out the door and say fuck X-Con, it was with glad heart to hear Gauge giving a full account of the bout on KSEX,, Monday night.

In what was a sneak preview of her new Distorted Reality Show this Friday- with Flexxx now replacing Quasarman in the passenger seat – Gauge gave a pretty colorful summary of events. The grudge match was described as the highlight of the day – “16 minutes of non-stop ass-kicking wrestling”. The height and weight disparities between the two contestants were not overlooked. Gauge said it was kind of amazing how the pairing came about. She described how five contestants, each representing a porn company, were lined up and allowed to talk some pre-bout shit ala the WWE. Gauge said she had been talking on the sidelines to Lee Stone about the ways of the world and bodybuilding when she heard her name called out. She saw that her partner was Olivia.

“I totally wasn’t prepared. It caught me off guard.” Gauge says, because she grew up Tomboy-ish, she wrestles a lot and normally gets pretty psyched up for a match by getting “super pissed.” Gauge described herself as planting her feet on the ground and becoming one with the earth. Consequently, O’Lovely couldn’t budge her to save her life. Powder, who had the mike before Flexxx showed up to the studio, described Gauge as a little monkey on O’Lovely- a controversial Darwinian analogy that you might not have heard coming from Flexxx.

Gauge said she’s still sore from the bout, and its halt was attributed to the fact that O’Lovely apparently has an asthma condition. “Her coach should never have put her in that fight,” said Gauge. “On the pamphlets we got weeks ago it said the Bitch Fight’s the most physical sport. Obviously it’s going to be sweating, huffy-puffy and slammin’ around and stuff. So you shouldn’t enter it if you have asthma. Dude, I just downed a hot dog and I’m about to throw it up. But the astmas thing? Whatvever.”

Gauge said there was additional controversy alleging that she was choking Olivia. It was first thought that O’Lovely might need an ambulance escort off the playing field. O’Lovely’s being quoted that Gauge’s fist landed on her Adam’s Apple. “Yeah, it probably was because it’s called a choke hold,” Gauge responded. Describing the manner in which she was trying to put O’Lovely’ head to her knees, Gauge said she had Olivia in a wild chicken. “I’m trying make her tap out. That’s why they call it a choke hold.”

It was suggested that Olivia underestimated the power of Gauge. Gauge thinks it was more of being embarrassed. “I would be embarrassed, too. I was totally prepared to get my ass kicked. I was talking so much shit Saturday. I was trying to get everybody amped up for it.” Gauge said she was more or less trying to get everyone pumped up. “It was a fun thing but I was prepared to get my ass kicked.” Gauge said she never underestimates an opponent. “But I knew if I stuck at what I was good at and what I knew to do, I would do okay.”

Gauge mentioned that, despite insinuations to the contrary, she abided by all the rules. “Maybe the little woman complex kicked in.”

Gauge said during a time out earlier in the bout she was making jokes to Olivia. “I talked to her normally. She didn’t know what I was thinking. I was talking as if we weren’t fighting, to distract her, like what sign are you?” Gauge said at one point during the match her own head wet under water. “It was really murky because I went in there all-oiled up. I had gotten a moutful of water and I got a hair or something on my tongue, and, finally, I spit on the side. And everyone went yeeeeah. It was so hot and my heart was beating so fast.”

Gauge also talked about the fact that she, along with partner Aria XXX later took on the team of Avy Scott and Ariana Jollee. “Avy had Aria down then I saw that my teammate was getting pinned down so I threw Avy out of the way, and we double-teamed her for a three-count and won. It all happened in an instance. Me and Aria went in there with a plan but it didn’t quite work out that way, and Avy Scott was way stronger than I thought.”

Gauge was also quick to note that the fight between Alana Evans and Kaylani Lei was a great one also. “There’s wasn’t as long but it was brutal. Alana kept getting Kaylani on the grass. She wanted to wrestle her on the grass, not in the pool.”

Gauge said she was already coming up with ideas for next year’s events including topless wheelbarrow racing. “You grab a girl’s legs and walk on their hands. But they’re topless. It would be really funny for a lot of people and almost kind of degrading.”

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