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I’ve been collaborating with Scotty Schwartz on his autobiography, and one of the stories he tells is the time he and Frank Stallone were in a movie.

I think there was a couple of films they did together, but on this one occasion, Stallone was having a good ol’ romp in the hay with an executive on the project, apparently. So Scotty, playing a little game of one upsmanship, brings the Vivid contract girl at the time, Jamie Summers, on set.

Needless to say, Stallone’s giving Summers the manly-man good housekeeping seal of approval. Months later Stallone would call Scotty, recalling that incident.

“Frank, I’m sure you had some in your day, who are you kidding?” Scotty told him.

Over the years, Scotty has seen Stallone’s stage show maybe a dozen times and can’t speak highly enough of the guy.

“The fact that he starved for so many years then found success then had some of it taken away, he’s always had that humble appreciation for people who enjoy him,” Scotty’s telling me.

So, for New Year’s eve, Scotty graciously invites me to check out Stallone’s show. Scotty goes back stage to say hello. Stallone asked him if he was with anyone and Scotty said he was with me, that I was writing his book.

“You’re writing a book?” says Stallone. “Holy shit, how many women did you sleep with? They’ve all got to be in there.”

Stallone does these cabaret shows around the country, and he was performing at Vitello’s in Studio City. This Italian restaurant is famous for the fact that Bonnie Bakley had her last meal there with actor Robert Blake.

Oh, there was a murder trial and all that, but nothing big, mind you. My theory? Bakley starved to death. Judging at least from the experience Scotty and I had ordering from the New Year’s menu.

While most of the entrees would have appealed to a Greek goat herder, Scotty and I decide on the relatively safe Filet Mignon Medallions. Priced at $65, a veritable steal.

Except the waitress comes back apologizing a few minutes later to say they had run out of the steak medallions which is incomprehensible since this is one of the featured items. The second choice is the stuffed breast of chicken which, at $55 bucks, is even a bigger bargain. So, would you believe, the waitress returns minutes later informing us that they were also out of the chicken.

At this point, Scotty didn’t want to hear any of this and went outside for a cigarette only to learn that the last possible alternative, unless your diet consists of goat, the Chilean Sea Bass was also on the extinct list.

No fault of Stallone’s, of course. What you might not consider, is the fact that Stallone, both as a musician, composer and singer, is a brilliant talent in his own right. His repertoire extended from Sinatra standards to Jimi Hendrix’s Foxy Lady, a rendition that tore up the joint.

In between, Stallone, who’s now 62, is telling this story how earlier in the evening he met the “oldest living show girl” who is 89. As he does with Scotty, he introduces her in the audience, but later when I have a good look, I’m saying, no, no way is this woman 89.

Scotty agrees that this is a smokin’ hot dame, just as some heavy set woman from out of town tells him how she’s got Frank’s bow tie, that if he wants it back, he’s got to come to her hotel room.

Scotty looks at me and says he’d take the 89 year-old chick. In this case I’d have to agree, but, with my luck, the restaurant would tell me they’ve run out of her.